Rise N Shine – Eminem (Video)

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No worries, this site isn’t turning into MTV, just thought this was funny…

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3 Comments on "Rise N Shine – Eminem (Video)"

  1. Thepocalypse April 9, 2009 at 4:39 am -      #1

    Can’t see it in Canada

  2. Space marine April 9, 2009 at 6:09 am -      #2

    The second time I crossed paths with Kharn was in a later stage in the campaign. We were besieging one of the major hives of the planet, and I tell you what that place was locked up tighter than a Dark Eldar’s pants. My commander, Oxlor the Vilest, was stuck in an argument with some idiot leader of some group of Death Guard. You could see the smell it was so bad. I could tell Oxlor wasn’t happy, since everyone knows the Death Guard’s answer to everything is to just walk at it and watch your bits fly off. Not so good for us soft and squishy guys.

    Out of nowhere, this big hand grabs our commander by the shoulder and just hefts him aside, three whole trenches back where he rebounds off a basilisk. The crew was so shocked they fired off a round on a horrible trajectory, and the shell streaked high into the sky.

    Kharn the Betrayer just dusts himself down, and then picks back up what he had been holding. Now, I’m no techpriest and I never will be, but I know a nuclear warhead when I see it. I don’t know where he got it.

    No one says anything, so The Betrayer just punches the Plague marine in the face, and stuffs the warhead into the leaking mess of his stomach while he was still reeling.

    No run up, no preparation. He just fucking throws the other marine into the air at the hive. For a moment it actually looks like he’s thrown the warp-damned fool OVER the hive, but as he flies over the top the basilisk shell comes down and spears him through the whole hive! There’s a low boom noise, the ground shakes, and then the whole hive IMPLODES!

    Everything clears, and Kharn looks at me, and I feel about one foot tall. I don’t know if he recognized me, but he leans down and whispers. Kharn WHISPERS to me.

    “I was trying to hit the Emperor’s Children on the other side” he confides in me, and then nudges me as though it’s supposed to be our little secret.

    I was in traction for a MONTH.

  3. Space marine April 9, 2009 at 6:16 am -      #3

    I’ve been fairly insistent to you readers out there that Kharn the Betrayer was a pretty fun guy to be around. I know he gets a bad rap for the whole ‘slaughtering his own allies’ thing, but unless you’ve been there after a battle with him you don’t really appreciate how much he strives to please his chaos god.

    It was after one of our many conflicts that the Red Rivers Infantry were preparing to march on to our next destination. Never mind that it was half the planet away, we as traitor guard didn’t get transport vehicles. So as you can imagine when someone declared they’d found an Imperial Drop-ship in working condition everyone clamored and fought to get a free ride to our next engagement.

    Knowing full well I was too far away to get on the ship, I stayed with some of my fellow traitors at the battlefield. I’d seen Kharn after the battle, and as soon as we’d gotten our marching orders he was picking up corpses and putting them down elsewhere. This took an hour before he was satisfied, and seeing an audience he happily led us up onto a hill as the drop-ship flew a pass over the top of us, probably to gloat. Proudly, Kharn gestured to the battlefield, and then waved up at the drop-ship with his other hand. I peered down the hill, and realized he’d arranged the bodies to make out words, so many killed to form:

    On your drop ship hull
    I planted a melta bomb
    Blood for the Blood God

    It was at that point the drop-ship erupted in a violent plume, and crashed down on top of the haiku. Roaring in a cheer, we lifted Kharn up together and made to carry him to the next battlefield as a sign of our appreciation and devotion to his art.

    We got about five paces before our spines liquefied, but Kharn didn’t hold it against us for trying.

    Seriously, what a guy.

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