Lara Croft Vs Zero Suit Samus

Lara Croft Vs Zero Suit Samus

A match long overdue in the making. While I’d like to think this fight might last a few minutes, I don’t how Lara could even have a chance of attacking. Samus is just too fast and experienced for Croft to deal with.

How do you think this match would play out?

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1,644 Comments on "Lara Croft Vs Zero Suit Samus"

  1. Thepocalypse February 23, 2009 at 7:05 am -      #1

    Samus simply has the better tools, her energy whip is far superior to Lara’s handgun. Also, Samus has metroid DNA which grants her posthuman abilities, not to mention her brutal Chozo training.

  2. Baron Somebody February 23, 2009 at 9:17 am -      #2

    Samus has it, she coudl kick Lara’s gun out of reach and then use that whip

  3. Baron Somebody February 23, 2009 at 9:26 am -      #3

    Now you all forget…nevermind I won’t even say it lol

  4. Scenario February 23, 2009 at 10:20 am -      #4

    Chozo and Metroid DNA. Samus is simply not human enough to lose. In addition, Samus has taken plasma shots to the face in the Zero Suit, so a few bullets shouldn’t be a problem.

  5. EnigmaJ February 23, 2009 at 4:11 pm -      #5

    “Now you all forget…nevermind I won’t even say it lol”

    Wow… the whip?

    Samus takes this

  6. Baron Somebody February 23, 2009 at 4:18 pm -      #6

    Imagine if they got friendly with eachother lol

  7. marche February 23, 2009 at 6:03 pm -      #7

    lara croft will use her agility too……
    oops i guess samus wins.

  8. JoshMcFace February 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm -      #8

    Lara Croft’s annoying camera angles will spoil the view of Samus shooting her face in.

  9. Cpt Olimar February 23, 2009 at 9:26 pm -      #9

    I feel bad for Lara, this is almost as unfair as Morgoth vs Link. Samus wins in seconds.

  10. El Zilcho February 24, 2009 at 12:55 am -      #10

    Yeh, this is truly a curb stomp fight. Now it just a shame they’ve been progressively making Samus look worse

  11. Onesidedfight February 24, 2009 at 12:18 pm -      #11

    I say we all win ; )

  12. Baron Somebody February 24, 2009 at 3:43 pm -      #12

    @Onesidedfight

    I suggested this just for that very reason lol

  13. Scenario March 1, 2009 at 5:11 pm -      #13

    “Samus loses the fight…… She doesn’t wear a bra”

    The zero suit has many functions. Support is one of them.

  14. Skrunks March 5, 2009 at 4:43 am -      #14

    “Yeh, this is truly a curb stomp fight. Now it just a shame they’ve been progressively making Samus look worse”

    She looked the worst in Metroid Prime 2, but in Prime 3 and SSBB, she looks pretty amazing. Although, even at her worst, I would never complain about a date with her. :P

    Oh yeah and the heat from Samus’ whip causes Lara Crofts implants to explode. Fight over. (Is a Lara Croft fan, but will chose Samus anyday :D)

  15. Albert Wikowonkavitz April 10, 2009 at 9:32 am -      #15

    Why does her breastices not bouncing affect the match?

  16. Akatsu April 14, 2009 at 1:40 am -      #16

    Samus’ gun can be use like a sword like beam, whip, gun, grappling hook, and not to mention her speed in the armor but without the armor she can run fast. Not to mention its large!!

  17. Benedict Stone May 22, 2009 at 8:11 am -      #17

    Lara Croft wins.

    Who is Samus. Who’s ever heard of her? No one, that’s who. Lara Croft is officialy (according to Guiness World Records) the most successful videogame heroine of all time. Look it up if you don’t believe me – G World Record 2007, P157. Samus is unrealistic. Lara Croft isn’t. Lara Croft is hotter, and more experienced. Globally, Samus is nowhere near as popular as Lara. Has Samus spawned 2 major movies with Angelina Jolie? No.

    Let’s not forget that Lara has fought the wrath of an evil god, and killed a giant octopus, battled with great whites, killed cat mummys and giant flying mutants that spit fire, not to mention a T. Rex! Oh, and 2 centaurs that come to life and turn you to stone. I’m thinking that if Lara Croft can defeat all of these baddies, she can easily defeat Zero Suit Samus. It may be a challenge, but she’ll do it.

    Once more, who is Samus. A no one who isn’t popular. Who’s Lara? The girl who killed a T. Rex. Just remember that… T. Rex.

  18. Prime Chaos May 22, 2009 at 9:16 am -      #18

    @Benedict Stone

    Wow she killed a dinosaur so impressive.

    /Sarcmash

    Dude Zero suit Samus is an Super Olympic level warrior and will run circles around Lara. Samus will win. Nothing Lara has could even hurt Samus.

    Also if all you have to do is kill a dinosaur then thats sad.

  19. Expertimp May 22, 2009 at 10:20 am -      #19

    @Benedict Stone ‘”Who is Samus. Who’s ever heard of her?” are you a idiot or something? who is samus god. Never touch a video game again in your life if you do not know who this is. Also this isn’t a popularity contest. This is who would win in a battle against each other. Of course Lara is more popular her games are on multiple platforms and has had more recent success with her games then the Metriod series has had in recent years.

    As much as I like Lara. She would not in no way be able to beat Samus in a one on one battle. She would only have a 10% chance of winning through some fluke miracle.

    Winnre: Birthday Suit

  20. w2drs21 August 28, 2009 at 9:18 pm -      #20

    You really think defeating a t rex and a giant octopus is realistic and by the way samus has far better tech.

  21. OriginalA August 28, 2009 at 11:18 pm -      #21

    As Scenario mentioned in post 4, Samus can take raw plasma to the face while in her Zero Suit. Just because she doesn’t have her signature Chozo Battle Suit on doesn’t mean she doesn’t get the huge advantage of her energy shields. … okay… ummm… triple negative… yeah! Samus has her shields so bullets won’t do jack.

    Her stun gun can stop a Space Pirate in a single shot. Now that may not seem all that impressive until you realise that the amount of energy needed to kill one of them equals about 1/8th the yearly energy consumption of Earth. Samus’s stun gun might just kill Lara because if would shut down her body. Even if it doesn’t kill Lara and only stuns her that gives Samus more than enough time to get up to Lara and snap her neck. Oh and Samus’s action speed is up there with bullet timers and her reaction speed is super sonic; Samus will probably dodge all of Lara’s bullets even though she could easily survive hundreds of hits from the primitive weapon.

    Also Samus is the first major female protagonist in video games. If it weren’t for her then there would be no Lara Croft.

  22. KrazyCrismore October 9, 2009 at 1:17 pm -      #22

    No contest ZSS wins. But, Benedict Stone did bring up a good point, when is a Metroid movie coming out? Who would play Samus? Hopefully it would be better than the Tomb Raider movies, which I found mediocre.

  23. AHEM December 2, 2009 at 2:19 pm -      #23

    Samus wins. Super-human with enhanced abilities, blindingly quick reflexes, and defenses that even in their weakest form could tank everything Lara throws at her a hundred times over will always beat a skilled human. Not to mention that Samus has vastly superior technology and has defeated monsters that make dinosaurs like like rock lizards.

    Samus for the win.

  24. Zephyr13576 September 15, 2010 at 3:06 am -      #24

    Samus kicks ass!!! Lara wouldn’t stand a chance. Samus’ paralyzer would knock Lara out cold, if not kill her with single shot.

  25. Benedict Stone October 12, 2010 at 4:20 pm -      #25

    Still trying to find out who Samus is… haven’t had any luck so far.

  26. bluefireXD October 26, 2010 at 9:29 am -      #26

    @Benedict Stone
    Switch on your TV, you’ll see an Other M commercial

    I refuse to begin my comment with “Samus wins because.. because it is too similar to comments i what I will call “THE FORBIDDEN ZONE” (comments 1 to 150 of MC vs Samus) The battle will go to Samus thanks to the fact her shields are stll active while on Zero Zuit, and the capabilities of her emergency stun gun are still more than enough to kill, if not cause severe brain damage to Lara.

  27. theobserver October 26, 2010 at 10:04 am -      #27

    Adding to everyone else’s comments:

    It’s not just her agility either. She survives and functions just fine on 850+ gravity so one punch will literally turn Lara into mush.

  28. Benedict Stone December 15, 2010 at 6:45 pm -      #28

    I still think Lara would win. She has defeated enemies far more powerful than Samus. If you were to go up to 20 random people in the street, then I bet you not very many of them would have ever heard of Samus. Of course you’ll all have heard of her, because you’re all sad little video game fan boys.
    How about you all come back when Samus has sold nearly half as many games as Lara Croft. :)

  29. theobserver December 15, 2010 at 7:04 pm -      #29

    @ Benedict

    Please tell me you’re trolling….*facepalm*

    “She has defeated enemies far more powerful than Samus”

    Examples of this? Please, you’re not really implying that Lara can possibly hope to defeat even the most basic mooks in Samus’ enemy gallery are you? Can she take plasma to the face? Can she walk in 850.5 times gravity? Can she beat down several intergalactic threats and shut down an entire organization of techno-obsessed extraterrestrials? The questions were rhetorical. Of course Lara would get stomped.

    That aside, this match is more on who would win if the two were to fight not a popularity contest. If we had matches that were decided solely on the popularity of the character in question then Master Chief would have dominated against Super man…Simply because you have no idea who Samus is does not give you the right to call us sad little fan boys when you’re the one ignoring the abilities of one side and stating opinion as opposed to fact.

  30. bluefreXD December 16, 2010 at 6:58 am -      #30

    @Benedict

    What are you, 7?

    Yeah, if you ask 20 people who have only ever played games like Halo and COD they wont know what Metroid is, but if you ask people that play a wide range of game they can all tell you what Metroid is.

    Arguably the best Tomb Raider game, the original got scores averaging at 8.5 from users and critics, most of the games in the Metroid series have scores ranging from 9 to 9.5, the only exceptions being the original Metroid and Other M which both got 8.5, the same score as Tomb Raider.

    Lara does not stand a chance, no human can defeat Samus without either-
    1) Manipulating Magic (e.g. telekinesis)
    2) Nukes (I dont mean RPG’s, I mean Hiroshima level nukes)
    3) Samus gets no shields, there are 50 people surrounding her, all with AK-47s

    Your point has been pwned.

  31. Benedict Stone December 21, 2010 at 1:29 pm -      #31

    Don’t even start with me on who’s games are better. The Tomb Raider series owns any of the games Samus has been in. And as for examples of powerful enemies that Lara has beaten, I listed some a while back. Half the stuff you little fan boys say is pure shit. Samus is so unheard of, she’s like a speck of dust on the ever growing Tomb Raider machine.

    Tomb Raider is a more successful series in every way, and always will be. Now off you all pop… to your video game conventions.

  32. bluefireXD December 21, 2010 at 9:23 pm -      #32

    @ Benedict

    Your basing your argument on your own opinion, I’m basing mine on professional game critics and numerous opinions. You fail, hard.

    Those enemies you listed? Pure crap. A giant octopus? She didn’t kill it with her own weapons, she just used her environment to kill it. Most of those required her to use other means of fighting, not just her own weapons. Samus’ shields (which are still active on zero suit) can take a massive amount of punishment – ridley, a dragon who’s bite can slice thorugh starships and its breath melt flesh, could barely diminish 1% of her shields.

    Samus has more stamina than Lara. Because she grew up in a planet with 850 times the gravity of Earth, she is massively stronger, faster and more agile than Lara.

    Samus’ superior physical abilities will allow her to run circles around Lara while beating the absolute crap out of her. Lara will have to shoot Samus with enough bullets to support an army. She cannot carry this many bullets, so she has no hope of ever defeating Samus. Don’t forget, melee wont do much either, since her shields allowed Samus to be stomped by Kraid (a 30 tonne beast) and just get up like nothing happened.

    Now sit down and shut up.

  33. ladidala February 1, 2011 at 1:12 pm -      #33

    Professional ratings have nothing to do with it. You’re clearly far too busy masturbating over Samus to realise this. Tomb Raider is a better series, and that’s not just my opinion you dumb fuck. I’m basing it on how many copies the games have sold. Tomb Raider totally outsells Samus, meaning that Tomb Raider is more POPULAR! Yes, that’s right little fan boy.

    The fact is, Samus relies on all of this shit she has – whips and suits and God knows what else. Lara has a pair of pistols and that’s it. Without her suit, Samus would be fucked. Lara doesn’t need the help of technology to win a fight. When Lara killed the octopus using the environment, she STILL KILLED IT. It doesn’t matter how she did it.

    As for all that dragon/gravity crap you wrote, I didn’t really know what you were talking about, because you were rambling. Lara has defeated enemies far more poweful than Samus – such as Natla and Set. And yes, before you complain, Natla is more fucking powerful that Natla too. Fact. Lara’s pure intelligence and sense of humanity will easily overcome Samus, who will simply fly about thinking she owns the place. Then Lara aims… shoots… and it’s bye bye Sammy.

    Now for your own sake… sit down and shut up. Absolute idiot.

  34. Enoirin February 1, 2011 at 1:36 pm -      #34

    This is hilarious!

    Please, please, do continue.

  35. OriginalA February 1, 2011 at 1:38 pm -      #35

    That “gravity” crap means Samus can lift 85 tons easy. And she creates sonic booms when she jumps.

    Samus could, litterally, throw a rock through Lara’s skull with the same lethality of a .50 bullet.

  36. ladidala February 1, 2011 at 1:39 pm -      #36

    Professional ratings have nothing to do with it. You’re clearly far too busy masturbating over Samus to realise this. Tomb Raider is a better series, and that’s not just my opinion you dumb fuck. I’m basing it on how many copies the games have sold. Tomb Raider totally outsells Samus, meaning that Tomb Raider is more POPULAR! Yes, that’s right little fan boy.

    The fact is, Samus relies on all of this shit she has – whips and suits and God knows what else. Lara has a pair of pistols and that’s it. Without her suit, Samus would be fucked. Lara doesn’t need the help of technology to win a fight. When Lara killed the octopus using the environment, she STILL KILLED IT. It doesn’t matter how she did it.

    As for all that dragon/gravity crap you wrote, I didn’t really know what you were talking about, because you were rambling. Lara has defeated enemies far more poweful than Samus – such as Natla and Set. And yes, before you complain, Natla is more fucking powerful that Samus too. Fact. Lara’s pure intelligence and sense of humanity will easily overcome Samus, who will simply fly about thinking she owns the place. Then Lara aims… shoots… and it’s bye bye Sammy.

    Now for your own sake… sit down and shut up. Absolute idiot.

  37. ladidala February 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm -      #37

    Okay, that’s posted twice. Oh well, Lara is twice as good as Samus, so it is kind of fitting.

    Benedict Stone

  38. Laharl February 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm -      #38

    LOL This is funny.

  39. orber February 1, 2011 at 3:07 pm -      #39

    Its a troll guys.

    Anybody saying videogames are good based on Sales are either:
    1)Obviously trolling
    2)retarded beyond help
    3)knows nothing on how the gaming community works, which automaticly redirects to point 2 since he is dumb enough to start talking shit.

    As for the debate itself?Fuck it.I ain’t gonna debate with someone who ignores the evidence in front of him and refuses to do the most basic research.

    A 1 minute research on Samus will teach anybody with 1 braincell intact that Samus can basicly catch bullets and throw them back harder then a gun can fire a bullet.

    Enjoy wasting your time with the troll.

  40. Envoy February 1, 2011 at 3:36 pm -      #40

    So…..mud wrestling?

  41. ladidala February 1, 2011 at 6:31 pm -      #41

    I never get what it means when people are like “He’s a troll!” What does that mean? Seriously guys, let’s update our vocabulary, shall we? I personally can’t be bothered to argue with someone who can’t get their basic grammar right. My English teacher always whines about proper grammar, so it’s funny to see a bunch of adults fucking it up. Get an education.

    When games sell millions of copies, it means that they’re popular. There’s no denying that. And there’s no denying that Tomb Raider is a great series that has achieved things beyond the wildest imagination of Metroid. Don’t be upset, it’s just the truth. So my message to all of you would be… remain strong and just accept the truth for what it is. ;)

  42. Ian February 1, 2011 at 6:50 pm -      #42

    @ladidala
    try urban dictionary. Are you saying just because we use a common word on the internet that we’re stupid? That’s just ignorance. Why are you debating about sales? We’re not argueing about the series, we’re argueing about the characters. You haven’t brought up any points to counter post 34.
    ” Without her suit, Samus would be fucked”
    Not at all, as said before, she still has much more strength, speed, and stamina. Don’t forget that with her shields a bullet wouldn’t even scratch her.

  43. Zazax February 1, 2011 at 6:53 pm -      #43

    “So…..mud wrestling?”
    Surely this is the only sensible way this match can end. Or even exist, for that matter.

  44. Ian February 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm -      #44

    @zazax
    It’d be the best though

  45. Lowk February 1, 2011 at 7:46 pm -      #45

    @ladidala
    What are you talking about? How do sales and popularity figure into a 1-on-1 fight between Samus and Lara?

  46. Negative Zero February 1, 2011 at 8:03 pm -      #46

    This is hilarious!!! This Tomb Raider fanboy is a riot.

  47. Commander Cross February 1, 2011 at 8:41 pm -      #47

    @Ian and Zazex

    So would both Samus and Lara be half-naked as they mud-wrestle each other? :P

  48. Ian February 1, 2011 at 8:56 pm -      #48

    @NZ
    I know right?
    @Cross
    AT LEAST half naked ;)
    (I generally don’t like emoticons, but this needed one)

  49. Turtle Commando February 1, 2011 at 9:03 pm -      #49

    I agree NZ this is a f*cking can of laughing gas that popped out of my computer and onto my lap.
    Samus: A genetically superior soldier capable of feats beyond a human, as in fifty Lara’s together can’t match what she cacn lift with one hand. FACT
    Lara: She kills gods and supernatural stuff ALOT. FACT
    Enemies of Lara are unfortunately for the series sake, NOT godly or they would have wiped the floor with a mortal.FACT
    Samus: As in most sci-fi games she has killed enemies and is so unbelievably powerful she is tougher to defeat than the “gods” in TR. I have played both series. FACT
    Please continue fanwanking and feel free to make baseless accussations.
    Oh, and by the way, a troll is a slang term for one who is a jerk, a moron, an imbecile. It is also one who comes with the sole intent of debasing, demoralizing, or infuriating others. Using the word troll is perfectly acceptable within the english vocabulary in terms of grammar usage or The Three Billy Goats Gruff would be the bane of most english teachers. Now a good example of improper grammar is the following: I can haz cheeseburger? Now, this sentence does not follow the proper sentence structure for the english language in two ways. One, there is a spelling error has is not spelled haz. Two, the word has is improper as the correlation of the word positive/negative is misaligned to the rest of the sentence. In order to solve this you would have to subsitute has for have and add an a after that. In addition you must also put the word may for proper etiquette and syntax. The word can would be used to ask if, in theory you COULD have a cheeseburger. The correct example: May I have a cheeseburger?
    If you want to bring up english you best come prepared. Read the Boba Fett Ironman thread. I am currently working on an english major and I will nag your ear off about it. I do hope you understand what I said above. I tried not to get too wordy.
    Also there is the small noticeable point that THIS IS A FREAKING INTERNET SITE!!!
    There is no need to go around falsely accusing people of using poor grammar. If they want to use bad gramma then they can go ahead for all I care.
    Now that the lesson is concluded. MAY THE FANWANKING AND DEBASING BEGIN!!!!!

  50. Negative Zero February 1, 2011 at 9:07 pm -      #50

    @Ian and Turtle
    I can’t wait for my own chance to tell this guy off!!!

  51. Turtle Commando February 1, 2011 at 9:08 pm -      #51

    This is definitely off topic but I just feel like I have to say this. The picture you use can really make a difference. Whenever I read a post I made it’s almost always like I’m tipping my hat to you thanks to my picture…I just think it’s pretty cool. That and Mat Cauthon is just a kick axe guy as it is. Just felt like saying.

  52. WaffleTosser February 1, 2011 at 9:13 pm -      #52

    @Benedict Stone

    Metroid has sold over 10,000,000 million total games…
    In the US

    Tomb raider has sold over ~40,000,000 million Units…

    The average rated metroid game is 9.1…
    Tomb raider is about 8.3….

    So… Who wins???

    Also Samus ability to merely breath in a planet with 850x gravity gives her an auto-win.

    The current pressuer on you is about ~15 lbs per square inch…

    Samus has about ~12700 lbs per square inch on her,,,

    A bullet fired from an 9mm generates about ~9,000 lbs per square inch…
    Samus will take 9mm without noticing anything…

  53. Negative Zero February 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm -      #53

    “Whenever I read a post I made it’s almost always like I’m tipping my hat to you thanks to my picture”
    Well in that case everytime I post it’s like Boba Fett and Dengar are hunting you down.

  54. Commander Cross February 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm -      #54

    @Ian

    That is so awesome(at least left-bladedly awesome, because the other half of awesomeness is something dreadful, really!) that there should be fics of that fight. :P

    *gets a container for ensuring blood-loss from the nostrils*

  55. Turtle Commando February 1, 2011 at 9:45 pm -      #55

    Yeah…got to agree with waffle’s odd picture Samus for FP award.

  56. Turtle Commando February 1, 2011 at 9:51 pm -      #56

    Oh, and before I forget HURRAY FOR FANFICS!!!

  57. Commander Cross February 1, 2011 at 10:19 pm -      #57

    Now this fanfic of Samus and Lara mud-wrestling each other half-naked may as well have femslashy sub-text, if anyone’s up for it. :cool:
    8)

    *is checking to see which sign has the smilie with shades on it*

    Besides, it can help to deal with stress.

  58. orber February 2, 2011 at 4:46 am -      #58

    *Samus for FP award*

    It’s a obvious stomp for Samus.A FP award is not needed IMO.

  59. glitched_man February 2, 2011 at 5:54 am -      #59

    Trolls…er, or maybe…humans with brains covered in concrete to be precise. They just don’t have the brains to go out and jump to the world. Anyway, I don’t recommend posting battles like these, it attracts f**king retards.

    Let’s just go somewhere else and say ‘nice to meet ya’ to Chuck Norris.

  60. ladidala February 2, 2011 at 8:25 am -      #60

    Wow, that’s a lot of comments. You fan boys have really come out in force! I’m sure you all idolise Samus very much, but seriously, enough it enough.

    For all the people that are asking why I’m talking about game sales and reviews – I didn’t start that one. Someone else started bitching about how Metroid got better reviews or something, and I merely set them straight. I couldn’t actually be bothered to read every single comment, but the one where someone started talking about the word “troll” and then mentioned cheeseburgers was hilarious. It just made no sense.

    Anyway, like I’ve said, Lara has defeated Gods. Gods are more powerful than Samus – fact, because she’s not a fucking God. If a God can defeat Samus, and Lara can defeat a God… well, you work it out. Samus would once again be fucked. This is actually really quite hilarious, because I’ve never met a bunch of people who are THIS easy to wind up. Just keep it coming guys, I’m guess I’m just what you all call a “troll” or whatever.

    Kind regards, mother fuckers…

    Benedict Stone

  61. Lowk February 2, 2011 at 9:49 am -      #61

    “Someone else started bitching about how Metroid got better reviews or something, and I merely set them straight.”

    Who started it? Reading through the comments, the ones regarding whose game was better started with Benedict Stone aka you.

    “If a God can defeat Samus, and Lara can defeat a God… well, you work it out. Samus would once again be fucked.”

    What exactly does Lara have that can harm Samus? Also tell me, how exactly did Lara go about defeating these “gods”?

  62. theobserver February 2, 2011 at 10:42 am -      #62

    Man this thing is giving me a headache…

    “If a God can defeat Samus, and Lara can defeat a God… well, you work it out. Samus would once again be fucked.”

    The achievements of god don’t mean squat in the face of debate. Furthermore you are making a fallacy not only in the blatant bias you have in the face of the match but also with associating characters that make no contribution to the match. I could easily do the same thing and say that:

    a) Samus has defeated a being that can corrupt planets, survive dimensional collapse, and shoot you with a viral substance that vaporizes to the atomic level (Look up Dark Samus and phazon).
    b) Lara has NOTHING that can even hope to harm this being yet Samus was able to beat her.

    Therefore,
    c) Lara doesn’t stand a chance against Samus.

    “Gods are more powerful than Samus – fact, because she’s not a fucking God”

    Titles such as gods don’t mean anything without provable feats. What may be considered as a “god” in one game universe could be the equivalent of cannon fodder in another. But please humor me, what can these gods do exactly? Don’t give me the “because they’re called gods they’re already impossible to beat” excuse.

  63. Turtle Commando February 2, 2011 at 1:45 pm -      #63

    Yay! I love reading this.
    But in all respects the whole god thing in tomb raider is laughable. They are nowhere near being truly godly.
    Oh, btw lalalawhat’syourface your not actually a troll by definition they are getting it wrong. In this particular context you are merely a biased and uninformed persona.

    Please read my post. It made enough sense as it was a response to your claiming the properly worded sentence “He’s a troll” was an example of improper grammar which it is not.
    Have fun people! It’s hilarious how I can imagine the anger seething from your 1/2 inch letters in the posts.
    Even you lala(wtf?) No offense there I just don’t know your name and I’m not currently bothering to scroll up and look.

  64. Negative Zero February 2, 2011 at 9:11 pm -      #64

    @ladidala/Benedict Stone
    You sir are an idiot. You say that Lara can beat gods and not Samus. However if Lara can beats “gods” then surely somebody whose MUCH stronger and faster could beat these so called “gods” too. Now do me a favor and kick your dad in the balls so he can’t foul the Earth with anymore idiots like you.

  65. ladidala February 3, 2011 at 11:50 am -      #65

    You all make me laugh so much. It’s SO easy to wind you up. All I have to do is mention the name Lara and you all start cussing at me. You’re all just a sad bunch of losers who live for video games. It’s pathetic. You’re all so consumed by it that you’ve lost the grip on reality. Just remember… none of it is real, okay?

    I can’t believe you all started zooming back through the comments to check what I’d written! The Gods in Tomb Raider would be able to defeat Samus because they are Gods… end of. I am not just right… I am shockingly right, which in turn, means that you are all WRONG. Here you all are arguing about some Metroid franchise that no one’s ever heard of. Funny.

    Oh, and Negative Zero… please cover your mum’s pussy with sellotape, so that she can stop producing naive little twats such as yourself. Much appreciated, thanks ;)

  66. Envoy February 3, 2011 at 12:29 pm -      #66

    “You’re all just a sad bunch of losers who live for video games. It’s pathetic.”
    So why are you here?

    “I can’t believe you all started zooming back through the comments to check what I’d written! ”
    That’s how debates work…..

    “The Gods in Tomb Raider would be able to defeat Samus because they are Gods… end of.”
    That makes zero sense, just because its called a god doesn’t mean its insta-win. Prove it, our just continue being a troll, it’s your choice.

    It’s sad that samus stomps, but this match seems to be more of a “who’s hotter?” contest, or it’s an actual match that’s a stomp.

  67. Michael50210 February 3, 2011 at 12:44 pm -      #67

    Wow, really?
    A human chick against Samus?

    Who’s hotter?
    Niether of them.
    Sorry baron

  68. Enoirin February 3, 2011 at 12:47 pm -      #68

    ladidala is now officially one of my all time favorite BankGambling trolls. This shit is priceless.

    “It’s sad that samus stomps, but this match seems to be more of a “who’s hotter?” contest, or it’s an actual match that’s a stomp.”

    Eh, I don’t really find either of them particularly attractive, polygons and all. Also I prefer my women a bit darker in skin tone. Or a bit more Eva Mendes.

  69. Lowk February 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm -      #69

    “All I have to do is mention the name Lara and you all start cussing at me. You’re all just a sad bunch of losers who live for video games. It’s pathetic. You’re all so consumed by it that you’ve lost the grip on reality. Just remember… none of it It is real, okay?”

    I don’t believe I’ve done anything like that. I asked simple questions, something you seem to be avoiding with insults. Why? Are you ever going to answer my questions?

    Just incase you don’t feel like scrolling up I’ll ask them again.
    How did Lara Defeat these “gods” and what does Lara have to hurt Samus?

    “I can’t believe you all started zooming back through the comments to check what I’d written! The Gods in Tomb Raider would be able to defeat Samus because they are Gods… end of.”

    Well considering we had to read it to know what you were saying instead of ignoring you, I assume there wasn’t much “zooming”. Copy&paste are surprising easy to use. Second, by what your telling us I’m assuming these so called “gods” were kill by Lara Croft. Yes, she is badass but she is still a human whose main weapon is two guns and acrobatic skills. Are you telling me that “gods” in Lara’s fights can be beat using guns and flips?

    Are you even reading this or are you just skimming through the lol and cussing thinking of comebacks? I want to lol at your attempts of trying to anger others with insults but I’m more intrigued by why?

  70. ladidala February 3, 2011 at 2:08 pm -      #70

    Lara defeated the Gods by dodging them and trapping them. She used her wit and cunning, which is how she would defeat Samus. Samus is basically… shit thick. She’s far too busy fornicating with her suit to notice anything else.

    Oooh, by the way, here’s a little limerick I took the time to create…

    There was a fit bitch called Lara,
    She was hottter stronger and faster,
    She fucked up those who stood in her way,
    And yes, that includes Samus… anyday

    Like it? My mummy and daddy say I’m very skilled.

  71. Enoirin February 3, 2011 at 2:22 pm -      #71

    Successful troll is successful.

    ladidala, you’re certainly one of the better trolls I’ve come across during my time with this site. Not the best mind you, but still pretty fucking entertaining.

    Oh, and I loved your limerick. Your mother and father must be very proud.

  72. Envoy February 3, 2011 at 3:06 pm -      #72

    “Lara defeated the Gods by dodging them and trapping them. She used her wit and cunning, which is how she would defeat Samus. Samus is basically… shit thick. She’s far too busy fornicating with her suit to notice anything else.”
    Prove that Samus can’t do the same, she is physically superior and was raised by intergalactic geniuses. Someone must be looking up a bit too much “MetriodXXX”, or you’re just a troll.

    How is Lara planning on traping her, without dying of course?

    “Like it? My mummy and daddy say I’m very skilled.”
    I really don’t care for poetry, no mater how blissfully incorect it is.

  73. Lowk February 3, 2011 at 3:41 pm -      #73

    “Lara defeated the Gods by dodging them and trapping them. She used her wit and cunning, which is how she would defeat Samus.”

    So what your saying is, Lara carries around a portable scooby-doo trap kit that she uses to defeat “gods”….. Wow they must be some fucktardedly weaksauce deities Lara be facing. So tell us, what exactly is Lara going to use to trap Samus with? Also while you at it, how does Lara’s cunning and wit keep Samus from shooting Lara?

    “There was a fit bitch called Lara,
    She was hottter stronger and faster”

    Were these two suppose to rhyme?

  74. Laharl February 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm -      #74

    “Successful troll is successful”

  75. Soldier's Shadow February 3, 2011 at 4:11 pm -      #75

    Doesn’t ZSS have superhuman strength and speed or at least peak human levels? Why can’t the stun gun, crack Croft’s skull with a high powered kick/punch/headbutt/whatever work here?

    *looks at above comments by Croft fantard*

    Ah, a troll is among us!

  76. Negative Zero February 3, 2011 at 7:21 pm -      #76

    “Oh, and Negative Zero… please cover your mum’s pussy with sellotape, so that she can stop producing naive little twats such as yourself. Much appreciated, thanks”

    It’s not my fault your dad squirted your stupid ass out.

  77. Based God February 3, 2011 at 7:34 pm -      #77

    “Oh, and Negative Zero… please cover your mum’s pussy with sellotape, so that she can stop producing naive little twats such as yourself. Much appreciated, thanks”

    OMGWTFBBQ nice burn looks like the negative nerd just got burned.. can someone please help him

  78. Negative Zero February 3, 2011 at 7:54 pm -      #78

    @Based Nerd
    Mabey I should apply Smurf jizz on my burns because, according to you, it’s “good for the skin”. You even said you’d like it on your face.

  79. ladidala February 4, 2011 at 6:49 pm -      #79

    Oh dear, it looks like Negative Zero’s made a bit of a twat of himself. But I suppose that’s what you get when you argue with me. Samus is merely all talk and no walk. She’s style over substance. Lara defeated an evil Egyptian God called Set, and if she’s able to do that, she would either end up killing Samus or probably entombing her. Yes, now that I think of it, Lara would simply entomb her for all eternity.

    Dear Lowk – Actually, my little RHYME did rhyme. “Lara” and “faster” is what you call a half rhyme, assuming you have the intelligence to read it at the right pace… which you obviously don’t.

    Dear Enoirin – I’m glad you find me so entertaining, but my wit just comes naturally if I’m honest. When it comes to a good argument, no Metroid mother fucker is going to get one over on me. And yes, I’m enjoying this argument very much so.

    And Negative Zero – That was the worst comeback I have EVER heard. You’ve just lost all credibility. You’re clearly some spotty, sad little man who’s got nothing better to do in his life than sit at home touching himself. And don’t bother telling me you’ve got a girlfriend, because the only pussy you’ve ever touched is your mum’s when you fell out of it!

  80. OriginalA February 4, 2011 at 7:08 pm -      #80

    I know I don’t have to point out the circular logic, but I can and will.

    Because Set, a god, is, by definition of god, greater than a mortal he cannot be defeated by a mortal.

    Since Lara, a mortal, beat Set she by extension beater than mortals and gods.

    Since Samus, a mortal, is merely mortal. Lara can beat her.

    ,,,,

    Except for the fact that this whole argument depends on the idea that no mortal can beat a god and Lara is also mortal and canonicly proven that that statement is false.

  81. Envoy February 4, 2011 at 7:39 pm -      #81

    I didn’t get a letter from ladidala…

    /sadface

  82. Lowk February 4, 2011 at 9:20 pm -      #82

    “Samus is merely all talk and no walk. She’s style over substance. Lara defeated an evil Egyptian God called Set, and if she’s able to do that, she would either end up killing Samus or probably entombing her. Yes, now that I think of it, Lara would simply entomb her for all eternity.”

    Entomb Samus in what, does Lara carry around a tomb with her? What would she do to trap or kill Samus? Also If Set was beat by traps and a human acrobat with guns then he isn’t much of a deity, at least not in Croft’s game.

    As for the “Dear Lowk” thing, was the insult really necessary? I just asked a question.

  83. ladidala February 5, 2011 at 2:34 pm -      #83

    When people act like idiots Lowk, it is my duty to insult them.
    Lara would simply lure Samus into a tomb and then entomb her. It’s really not difficult. Lara has defeated enemies far more powerful than Samus – why is that so difficult for you to understand?

  84. Negative Zero February 5, 2011 at 2:54 pm -      #84

    @ladidala
    I’ve lost credibility? You don’t even HAVE any credibility. Your clearly just some disgruntled Tomb Raider fanboy who’s upset over Lara’s reduced breast size in her new game. I’m sure the closest thing to a girlfreind you have is a poster of Lara with a hole cut out in the mouth. Also Lara entombing Samus? In what…an Egyptian tomb she carries around with her?!? Do not try to start a flame war with me because you WILL lose (just like you’ve lost this debate).

  85. Envoy February 5, 2011 at 3:02 pm -      #85

    Because you don’t explain it, you just say: “OLOLOL LARA DE FEETS GODZ…RYMING…..U GUIZ R IDOITS11!1!!1″


    Its just not convincing, I’m paraphrasing ofcourse. But you should read the BankGambling Rules before posting. There is no tomb here or any biased structures for either girl.

    Explain why the paralyzer wouldn’t paralyze Lara, explain how she is faster, explain how she is going to do anything to Samus.

    So far you’ve proven that you’re a waste of space, you might want to work on changing that.

  86. Lowk February 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm -      #86

    “When people act like idiots Lowk, it is my duty to insult them.”

    That seems like a fun duty. If only one could be paid for such a job.

    “Lara would simply lure Samus into a tomb and then entomb her. It’s really not difficult. Lara has defeated enemies far more powerful than Samus – why is that so difficult for you to understand?”

    Where was it stated that there was a tomb anywhere near by?

    Also is this the entombing deity/powerful Egyptian deity event your speaking of?

  87. Commander Cross February 5, 2011 at 5:48 pm -      #87

    Can we just continue this fight with Lara and Samus Mud-Wrestling each other, half-naked?

    That’s the only good this idea has, going for it.

  88. bluefireXD February 5, 2011 at 7:10 pm -      #88

    @ Commander Cross
    We should and we must, it would stop the trolling…

    Jesus Christ, I stop bothering with this debate, thinking it was over, and this happens? God, I hate trolls.

    @ ladidala
    Are you serious? I’m done bothering, I even humoured with your little popularity contest crap, I would like you to make an argument that is more than just insults and OMGZ LARA CAN BEATTT GODDZZ!!1!1!! SAMUS IS GONNA GET FUCKEDED!!
    You remind me of the people in ANY Master Chieft debate.

  89. Commander Cross February 5, 2011 at 7:52 pm -      #89

    @BluefireXD

    So where should we start with having Samus and Lara half-naked in a mud-wrestling match for this debate?

    Also on Master Chief: Didn’t i try to make sure any of Chief’s latest fights are even somewhat even(except maybe against Bugs Bunny, in which case i understand its a stomp, but the others are borderline cases of controllable helplessness, for the most part?)

    I remember wondering how come Chief didn’t dual-wield two SCARAB guns to fight off Robot Santa, still.

  90. Michael50210 February 5, 2011 at 8:04 pm -      #90


    What the hell is going on here?

  91. orber February 6, 2011 at 5:36 am -      #91

    *…
    What the hell is going on here?*

  92. glitched_man February 6, 2011 at 6:48 am -      #92

    Where is him (admin)? I need his hammer!!!

  93. ladidala February 6, 2011 at 6:20 pm -      #93

    Honestly, it’s taken up five whole minutes of my time to read this trash. When will you people learn to stop comparing Samus to a true video game legend? Lara is better than Samus when it comes to fame and popularity, and the whole fighting thing too. Samus can shove her whip thing or whatever it is up her arse – because in this battle, Samus is like Jason and Lara is like Goliath. Samus = completely screwed.

    BluefireXD – Don’t worry, I stopped bothering with you a long time ago. Now run along. ;)

    Lowk – You probably have the lowest IQ level of anyone on here. Try not to stretch your imagination too much, I’d hate to see you hurt yourself. Hmmm… or would I?

    Negative Zero – When it comes to the “flame war”, I think you’ll find you lost a long time ago. Remember that comment where I told you to put sellotape over your mum’s pussy? Well that was when you lost. In fact, I completely OWNED you. You lost all credibility and were humiliated. The weird thing is, you seem to think this is some kind of competition. There are no winners or losers here (apart from your good self), so telling someone they’ve lost is basically pointless. But… you actually HAVE lost. I’m so superior to you it’s almost funny.

    And as for that mud wrestling thing, is it topless lesbian mud wrestling or just normal mud wrestling?

  94. Zazax February 6, 2011 at 6:29 pm -      #94

    You know, I understand why Zoos need signs to warn people about feeding certain dangerous animals (small children and all that), but does the Internet really need a ‘Do Not Feed the Trolls’ sign?

  95. Laharl February 6, 2011 at 6:34 pm -      #95

    “Honestly, it’s taken up five whole minutes of my time to read this trash. When will you people learn to stop comparing Samus to a true video game legend? Lara is better than Samus when it comes to fame and popularity, and the whole fighting thing too. Samus can shove her whip thing or whatever it is up her arse – because in this battle, Samus is like Jason and Lara is like Goliath. Samus = completely screwed.”

  96. ladidala February 6, 2011 at 6:39 pm -      #96

    I’m not going to watch that YouTube video you keep linking by the way. Give it up already.

  97. Negative Zero February 6, 2011 at 6:42 pm -      #97

    @Lara Croft’s bitch
    You owned me?!? Thats laughable at best. It takes more than 1 comment to win a flame war. You’ll see my best work against retards like Anime Hero Kevin/Soul Eater, Chuck Inglish/Based God, Emoboy and (eventually) you.

    “You lost all credibility and were humiliated.”
    Uh…except I wasn’t. It will take a lot more than some raving Tomb Raider fanboy to humiliate me. Besides tell me how YOU have gained any credibility exactly.

    “There are no winners or losers here (apart from your good self), so telling someone they’ve lost is basically pointless. But… you actually HAVE lost.”
    Wow…….you just condradicted your own stupid monkey ass….

    “I’m so superior to you it’s almost funny.”
    I’m sure me and 95% of this site would beg to differ.

    Now look, just because Lara Croft makes your panties wet while you salivate from that doghnut masher you call a mouth doesn’t give you the right to just show up and start trolling people that could wipe the floor with your grease stained ass. Mmmmm kay now?

  98. Ian February 6, 2011 at 7:33 pm -      #98

    this is old, but you obviously don’t know what a limrick is. Not even your “half rhyme” works. Get a fucking education.

  99. Ian February 6, 2011 at 7:37 pm -      #99

    oh ya, you’ll probably ignore this, but you still haven’t proved that lara will last more than 10 sec against samus.

  100. theobserver February 6, 2011 at 7:41 pm -      #100

    NZ, Ian and anyone else with a working brain,

    Don’t bother unless you want this to be excessively stupid-inducing like the Galen Marek vs. Darth Nihilus thread.

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