Master Chief vs Chuck Norris

Master Chief vs Chuck Norris

Ok, there have been many requests for this battle, so here it is. Since this battle could obviously never take place, I think it gives Chuck an advantage. Sorry Chuck Norris fans, Bruce Lee stomped his guts out in “Way of the Dragon” [Video]. Since then, Chuck has been p!ssed off destroying everything and everyone in has path, and seeking revenge especially kittens:

Chuck Norris Hates Kittens

So, in this battle, MC DESTROYS Chuck.

Master Chief:

  • Various weapon skills
  • Cool Armor
  • Decent Vehicles
  • Lone Wolf Mentality
  • Has shields to re-generate

Chuck Norris: (Courtesy of Chuck Norris Facts)

  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
  • Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  • Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting…. CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

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244 Comments on "Master Chief vs Chuck Norris"

  1. alex October 17, 2007 at 12:33 am -      #1

    …simple they are the same person

  2. darth tader October 17, 2007 at 3:59 pm -      #2

    yep
    take off chiefs helmet and its chuck

  3. darth tader donut hole October 17, 2007 at 4:49 pm -      #3

    YEP
    TAKE OFF THE HELMET AND ITS CHUCK!!!!!!!!!! AND WHAT WITH CHUCK SENDING THOSE POR KITTEND INTO ORBIT AND WHATS WITH MY MESAGES GETING DELETED

  4. darth tader donut hole October 18, 2007 at 4:45 pm -      #4

    woops dident think the first one got through wen i saw it again [after i posted the first one] i r posted it

  5. hitman8 October 18, 2007 at 8:47 pm -      #5

    yo you guys should make a master chief vs the nemasis. you know that thing from resident evil 2. the thing with a rocket lancher and minni gun. that would be a cool fight. – already suggested, it’s in the works.

  6. 100 Percent October 25, 2007 at 1:54 pm -      #6

    Cheif and chuck norris can’t exist together in the same room. the awsomenes will colide and a black hole will destroy the earth!

  7. darth tader donut hole October 26, 2007 at 3:28 pm -      #7

    chief is chuck noris so theyre is no prob. interesting therie though

  8. hitman8 October 27, 2007 at 12:18 pm -      #8

    i am chief chuck

  9. Peter October 29, 2007 at 7:55 pm -      #9

    Dude,master chief would own without question.
    All he has to do is grab a rocket launcher and blow his head off.

  10. tucker October 30, 2007 at 2:01 pm -      #10

    Chuck Norris obviously hates kittens.

  11. tucker October 30, 2007 at 2:03 pm -      #11

    obviously norris wins!!! He would throw rabid kittens at master chief!!!

  12. tucker October 30, 2007 at 2:19 pm -      #12

    I took a breath, i don’t see any kittens in orbit…

  13. darth tader donut hole October 31, 2007 at 2:44 pm -      #13

    they burned up in the atmosphere

  14. Halo 3 fan November 6, 2007 at 9:29 pm -      #14

    MASTER CHIEF WOULD WIN BIG TIME, but w8…. omfg!!!! Cuck Norris is a SPARTAIN!!! I KNEW HE LOOKED FAMILIAR!! OOH! NOW I Think it would be a good mach!!

  15. MADDEN 4605 November 7, 2007 at 8:06 pm -      #15

    i am being freaked out by the people in this comment room but mc will win or will he

  16. YOUR MOM November 8, 2007 at 10:34 am -      #16

    CHUCK NORRIS WOULD KICK MC’S @$$ NO DOUBT HES AN UNSTOPPABLE BEAST. NORRIS WOULD SIMPLY DODGE EVERYTHING MC TRYED TO DO THEN RIP HIS HEAD OFF AND SMASH IT AGAINST THE GROUND!!

  17. SniperElite November 8, 2007 at 7:58 pm -      #17

    He’s not so unstoppable when you shoot him in the face. Enough said.

  18. wii306 November 8, 2007 at 10:54 pm -      #18

    mc grabs a shotgun
    mc blows chucks head off
    mc wins

  19. LordofQ November 9, 2007 at 10:25 pm -      #19

    Chuck + MC = awesome…
    ‘Course it depnds on whether or not MC get the chainsaw gun from Gears, if so. MC wins. If not, chuck rips MC’s head off and sticks a kitten on it.

  20. bob889 November 10, 2007 at 8:49 am -      #20

    mc would own chuck norris so bad his mom would feel it and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. Master Chief November 11, 2007 at 3:58 pm -      #21

    The only way Norris would beat we would be in a melee only battle. His roundhouse kick would shatter my body and armor into a thousand tiny pieces. I could however, kill him with any ranged weapon put in my hands, including a traffic cone.

  22. solid snake November 14, 2007 at 10:13 pm -      #22

    well snake is chuck norris so he would proboly smoke some hooter with chief and get stoned so peace plus if you think about it they only want peace so just give it to them

  23. Huh November 17, 2007 at 6:35 am -      #23

    Very interesting battle indeed!

    Chief has the skills, no doubt.

    …But Norris is a freakin’ NINJA…

    But, I still think Chief would win. It’s easy…MC powerjumps, snipes in the air, lands next to a Banshee, and rockets the hell out of Norris.

    Then again, the rockets would blow up early, in fear of hitting Chuck Norris.

    Basically, Chief would just leave Norris to the Flood….annoying pests.

    Either way, at least it would be entertaining…and depending on the outcome, we would either be rid of th Flood for good, or have an intense sequel lined up!

  24. MADDEN 4605 November 21, 2007 at 8:31 pm -      #24

    energy sword vs fists, im going for the sword i think mc would own chuck

  25. Discrucio (John Ryan) November 26, 2007 at 10:44 am -      #25

    Let’s say MC and Chuck aren’t the same person for a minute… Chuck gets ‘excited…’ because he realizes he has never had machinima booty before…Chuck grows MC explodes end of story

  26. Commander Bjorn November 30, 2007 at 7:14 pm -      #26

    No chuck would win, his beard would just block every round MC sent at him and then he would roundhouse kick MC and destroy his armor. then rip out his heart and eat it (thats how he gets his powers you know). Because its like they always say, there are no such things as tornadoes, chuck norris just really hates trailer parks.

  27. Big Country7575 December 2, 2007 at 1:10 pm -      #27

    wow…..chuck norris will kill you for saying mc beats him. well he probably already has. Chuck Norris for life!

  28. Doomeelydee December 4, 2007 at 1:39 am -      #28

    There. YOu happy? MC woukd win. Chuck Norris jokes not only are old, but retarded. He’s actually a human (believ it or not). No alterations. Anyone who’s gone through Karate can round-house kick. **Round-house kicks Chief** ((CRACK!)) Norris broke his foot on 2 tones of metal. End of story.

  29. KAL1503 December 4, 2007 at 8:08 am -      #29

    Hey CHUCK can sendd a text from a public phone can the super SPARTAN MC ???

  30. Doomeelydee December 5, 2007 at 11:25 pm -      #30

    MC doesn’t send texts. He shoots people. A round-house kick or giant muscular thoighs won’t survive a bullet. Or plasma. OR ANYTHING. CHUCK is FU*KED. It even rhymes. It was meant to happen.

  31. mcbac508 December 7, 2007 at 9:23 pm -      #31

    chuck norris and master chief would team up and destroy the forces of evil cuz they’re both the most b@d@$$ heroes ever (but the chuck norris thigh jokes are kinda disgusting)

  32. Robert December 18, 2007 at 2:26 pm -      #32

    Amen

  33. jedimike7622 December 19, 2007 at 12:08 pm -      #33

    i think MC would win this one…yes, the Chuck jokes can be funny, but they dont apply here. also, i would like to see something along the lines of MC vs. Doomguy from the PC game Doom. or maybe John Grimm from the movie Doom…

  34. 1 parachute regiment December 19, 2007 at 3:43 pm -      #34

    this will f$k u all up lol.

    MASTER CHIEF IS ONLY A FICTIONAL GAME CHARACTER AND DOESN’T REALLY EXIST SO ALL CHUCK NORRIS HAS TO DO IS STICK THE GAME ON LEDGENDARY AND PUT MASTER CHEIF OUT IN THE OPEN WHERE HE WILL BE KILLED IN SECONDS

    SO F&CK YOU ALL!!!

  35. mcbac508 December 19, 2007 at 5:25 pm -      #35

    1 parachute regiment is a retard because mc IS real. he just hasnt been born yet

  36. Chris97 December 26, 2007 at 2:13 am -      #36

    Chuck Sucks

  37. McvsCN December 26, 2007 at 1:06 pm -      #37

    chuck and MC charge at eachother holding gravity hammers Mc pops out of his armor and kisses chuck…OMFG CHUCKS GIRLFRIEND IS MC!?!?!?!?! WTF!!

  38. dd January 4, 2008 at 6:04 pm -      #38

    a spartan warrior? or a karate gringo?

  39. bobcat January 5, 2008 at 9:34 pm -      #39

    ok Chuck is close range only + MC got sheilds ncie try guys but um machine gun turrent that MC can rip off its mounting!?!? + grenades i tihnk chuck would be killed fast

  40. agent 47 January 7, 2008 at 1:48 am -      #40

    put MC against scorpion from mortal kombat – added. thanks for the input.

  41. Anonymous Identity January 13, 2008 at 2:27 pm -      #41

    Sorry but Chuck Norris would win….Hands down..Hasn’t anyone seen Delta Force?

  42. Anonymous Identity January 13, 2008 at 2:28 pm -      #42

    And one other thing…If there’s gonna be MC vs Chuck…Why not Master Chief Vs Rambo..Energy sword vs Knife?

  43. highteckrednek1 January 24, 2008 at 5:21 am -      #43

    come on know everyone knows that chuck would beat master chief and he would not even have a chance agianst rambo, rambo would kill him before he even knew what happened. That would not even be a contest.

  44. paul06er January 25, 2008 at 12:53 am -      #44

    This fights not even fair! MC tea bags Norris for a hobby.

  45. vkitor February 15, 2008 at 4:55 pm -      #45

    Hello indestructible suit + bones. Superhuman strenght (able to flip over 20 ton scorpion tanks!) Chief would win.

  46. brandon marcial February 20, 2008 at 11:12 pm -      #46

    MC CAN’T BEAT CHUCK NORRIS, MC IS CHUCK NORRIS *universe blows up* AWWW #### THAT WAS THE SECRET TO THE UNIVERSE*we all die*

  47. brandon marcial February 20, 2008 at 11:13 pm -      #47

    I FIND THAT OFENSIVE HUH! I AM A REAL NINJA YOU BASTARD
    LIN KUEI CLAN 4EVER SUCKAS!

  48. Revolutionist February 27, 2008 at 10:05 pm -      #48

    how can MC be chuck norris when in the last scene of Halo in Halo 3 cortana sais “it been an honor working with you JOHN!!!!!!!!!”
    his name is JOHN not Chuck Norris!!!!!!!!

  49. mcbac508 February 28, 2008 at 6:34 pm -      #49

    john is his alias, bitch

  50. Revolutionist February 28, 2008 at 9:59 pm -      #50

    ok, if there ever were 2 Chucks, this would cause a rip in the space time continuum, result in in total universal chaotic destruction, OR the 2 chucks would enslave the Universe

  51. DrNecropolis February 29, 2008 at 7:57 pm -      #51

    Damn, come on,
    Mr. T could beat on MC,

    Like I said before let that weak ass MC try and fight Doomsday!

  52. brandon marcial March 3, 2008 at 9:24 pm -      #52

    master cheif has been injected with(let’s just say future super ur #ss is gonna get pwned and teabagged steroids) AND trained from 6-18, faought until like 40, AND after all that, is he REALLY weak in ANY way?

  53. Sam S March 13, 2008 at 9:54 am -      #53

    MC would whop ass you can not kill a god or maybe chuck norris is a god This would be one fight i would pay to see

  54. jack spatan 222 March 18, 2008 at 8:06 pm -      #54

    chief would kill Chuck than tee bag him

  55. vicarious one March 29, 2008 at 11:59 am -      #55

    Chuck would kick the chief into space when there are no more kittens

  56. Revolutionist April 2, 2008 at 8:57 am -      #56

    lol

  57. Revolutionist April 2, 2008 at 8:58 am -      #57

    rotflol

  58. argus April 3, 2008 at 1:38 pm -      #58

    The official answer is:The MC is about to kill Chuck but then he finds out thats his lost long father and finds out why he enjoyed
    kicking Grunts into Space every time Truth took a breath.

  59. vicarious one April 5, 2008 at 2:34 pm -      #59

    after that Chuck gets black ninja colored Mjolnir armor and spend quality time with his 7 foot something tall long lost son kicking cats in Venus’ general direction. killing thousands runs in the family.

  60. Sadben April 5, 2008 at 7:09 pm -      #60

    Mc will just throw a couple of grenades the end

  61. vicarious one April 6, 2008 at 12:50 pm -      #61

    Chuck would roundhouse kick him so hard it snaps his neck while sending into the stratosphere and when he lands chuck teabags, I mean potato sacks him.

  62. Todd April 8, 2008 at 7:45 am -      #62

    Scarab GUN!!! takes him out

  63. Todd April 8, 2008 at 7:46 am -      #63

    MC would kill him. FXXXing destroy him disintergrate him!!!

  64. chillaxsta April 20, 2008 at 2:14 pm -      #64

    easy. you can see it in master chiefs helmet reflection and its chuck norris inside of it.

  65. CatholicSpartan April 22, 2008 at 6:57 pm -      #65

    MC would rip off his arms and beat him until Jesus has to intervene saying that if you keep destroying his body it can’t be ressurected at the last judgement.
    (Ya’ll should have Master Chief vs. Pope) Long live Jesus [yes he did exist]

  66. 926101 April 24, 2008 at 3:15 pm -      #66

    mr t once captured bigfoot, but realeaed him after he shaved the beast n relized that it was just chuck norris walking around naked in the woods

  67. vicarious one April 24, 2008 at 3:36 pm -      #67

    Hm, Chuck’s track record is about as impressive as Mc’s. I just don’t know

  68. Thomas April 26, 2008 at 4:43 pm -      #68

    mc is chuck norris’ n the future. seeing as chuck can’t die he turns into a modofied killing machine. See how that works out?

  69. T-dog April 26, 2008 at 9:58 pm -      #69

    Masterchief would never fight Chuck Norris. Why would he fight his GREAT-GRANDFATHER. :shock:
    You all know they had to be related for anything in this world to make sense.

  70. Tfk fan April 27, 2008 at 6:58 pm -      #70

    Don’t you guys no anything? that last breath you took sen Master chief to the moon.

  71. phsyco April 28, 2008 at 5:12 pm -      #71

    It would be a tie chuck would kick his head off but at the same time amster cheif would blast him with a missle pod!!!

  72. Chris May 4, 2008 at 6:01 pm -      #72

    Master Chief would kick his #ss, he has guns. Chuck Norris has so-so martial arts.

    Chuck Norris is over-rated, he is a d-list actor, that was in a couple movies, and has a basic understanding of martial arts. Mario could kick his #ss.

    The Chuck Norris thing stopped being funny about 5 minutes after it started.

  73. bob May 8, 2008 at 6:45 pm -      #73

    Chuck wood win.
    he wood use his stelth to snap the neck of all living thingy ma bobs
    he stops bullets wit bear hans

  74. the funk May 10, 2008 at 11:10 pm -      #74

    Silly humans, Master Chief is Chuck Norris!

  75. RoBzIlLa May 12, 2008 at 10:03 am -      #75

    :mrgreen: chuck is the scientist on the planet reach he decided that he wanted more children so he created the spartan II project but when chuck was on a vacation at earth his lab on reach was Sneek-attacked by the aliens and that is how halo first started

  76. RoBzIlLa May 12, 2008 at 10:06 am -      #76

    but about chuck vs. MC Chuck will win because chuck created his child so he knows MC’s weakness.

  77. star gazer May 20, 2008 at 1:31 pm -      #77

    mc would beet the sh!t out of chuck norris :!: :evil: :twisted: :mrgreen:

  78. lx N0WH3R3 xl May 21, 2008 at 4:53 pm -      #78

    okay all that stuff is in movies :!: :!: :!: :!: in real life mc rapes

    my gamertag is lx N0WH3R3 xl type in my name on myspace tv to watch my vids please comment :cool:

  79. BIG AL May 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm -      #79

    CHEIF IS CHUCK! oh wait, thats the same witty statement every other johnny b goode has said…CHUCK RULES, MC DROOLS (probably induced from a roundhouse kick…?)

  80. PROJECT ALICE May 26, 2008 at 1:47 pm -      #80

    Gosh guys! The Master Chief would obviosly win. Haven’t you guys read the books? The SPARTAN beat the crap out of 4 helljumpers(thier tuff!) and walked away without a scach! :cool:

  81. PROJECT ALICE May 26, 2008 at 1:52 pm -      #81

    MacGyver could build an airplane with a tooth pic and a piece
    of gum, but Chuck noris could him and steel it from him. :grin:

  82. PROJECT ALICE May 26, 2008 at 1:56 pm -      #82

    :arrow: I ment to say: kill him, and steel it from him. :sad: Sorry! the error was mine. :lol:

  83. Bones May 29, 2008 at 3:43 pm -      #83

    ok, you guys all suck. a person who has a gun at his head would get his head blown off. but chuck norris is G-d, and if chief even TRIED G-d (idk i dont want people to get offended)1. he would be sinning big time and 2. its impossible to kill chuck and 3. dont f*ck chuck. whos the hell is with me?!?!? after all, chuck norris conscieves a child if a women is within a one mile radius, so his children will kill MC

  84. Aaron Benedetti May 31, 2008 at 12:10 pm -      #84

    Are you people retarded? Not a single one of Chucks meelee attacks could even chip masterchiefs armor. You sad people spend to much time looking up Chuck jokes on the internet. Chuck Norris is a human being and theres no way flesh and bones can damage the futuristic spartan armour thats probably stronger than diamond. You sad little nerds need to get real, masterchief would own regardless of if either one of them has weapons. Put chuck norris against someone equally overrated like mr t …..who would win because hes black :)

  85. PREDATOR KILLS MC EASY June 1, 2008 at 2:23 pm -      #85

    WOW! this isnt fair Chuck Norris isnt a species hes a descendant of GOD himself! He wouldnt kill master Chief he’d forgive him then kill him! YA B!TCH YA!!!

  86. Monkey June 3, 2008 at 3:52 pm -      #86

    I don’t know if anyone ever suggested having Master Chief pitted against God, but it could be an interesting fight. The MC would definitely beat the Pope, but God actually has powers. One has to question whether the MC could dodge meteor showers, survive floods, and resist plagues. It would only be a good fight if God had his ability to smite taken away from him.

  87. PREDATOR KILLS MC EASY June 4, 2008 at 8:22 pm -      #87

    lol mankey agreed but chuck is 2 cool

  88. Aaron Benedetti June 5, 2008 at 10:48 am -      #88

    omg retards

  89. Tanner June 13, 2008 at 12:33 pm -      #89

    in a fight with chuck norris against chuck norris (mc)
    chuck norris wins

  90. jimbob3 June 13, 2008 at 1:50 pm -      #90

    If cheif is chuck then hes killing himself so no one wins!!! :shock:

  91. lloyd clayton June 15, 2008 at 11:56 am -      #91

    The argument that Chuck Norris is only a man and so would lose to master chief is the most stupid idea I think I have ever heard for mastercheif is just game character so will be beaten by turning the Xbox off. There for if you want master chief to be counted as ‘real’ then you have to accept the Chuck Norris mythos as ‘real’ for it is the same thing…

    Therefore Chuck will win, as he is fast enough to run around the globe and punch himself in the back of the head.

    He has counted to infinity—twice

    Oh and Chuck sleeps with the light on… not because hes afraid of the dark but rather that the dark is afraid of him….

  92. Aaron Benedetti June 17, 2008 at 8:36 am -      #92

    no lloyd, thats retarded, chuck norris is what you see of him on tv and MC is what you see in the games. They follow all the limitations that they would inside the game or tv show. Those pathetic internet jokes about chuck are made up by fans and have no relevance to what chuck norris is actually capable of. ON TV chuck norris is just some strong guy with a basic knowledge of martial arts and IN GAME masterchief is a superhuman with armour that would easily be impervious to any human atatck or present weapon, and he can flip a tank…..

  93. lol con con June 17, 2008 at 8:00 pm -      #93

    what the h3ll is up with the kittens and u retarts wtf mc would so f n win damn hes a super human for god sake and chuck a puss l!cker
    – edited for language, admin

  94. lol con con June 17, 2008 at 8:06 pm -      #94

    wtf chuck nor is a f n cowboy noob and in the picture mc has an f n rocket launcher uuuuuuuuuuuuu hoo wins damn and mc isnt f n chuck good god

  95. lol con con June 19, 2008 at 12:34 pm -      #95

    stop editing

    Sorry, we want to leave the vulgarities elsewhere, and there are plenty of other sites that will post them. Think of it as a way to think creatively when you want to insult someone.

    Admin

  96. Aaron Benedetti June 24, 2008 at 7:44 am -      #96

    lol con con has the right idea, chuck jokes are pathetic and sad, made by people who will never get laid or even leave thier basement. No human can kill a superhuman… duh

  97. Talbain July 3, 2008 at 4:03 pm -      #97

    Since when is chief invulnerable? He dies to one 50 Cal to the head or 2 to the body. Oh and if chuck sneaks up on chief and hits him once in the back chief dies cause we all know one melee to the back=death in halo. On top of that chief is slow.

  98. The Chosen One July 4, 2008 at 10:00 am -      #98

    :idea: MC would kick the crap out of chuck.With any weapon he could get chuck from a range.If your a moron that thinks chucks beard with block everything MC will use flamethrower and give Chuck a shave. Now if you wanna argue that MC could not beat chuck in melee. Ill give chuck the benefit of the doupt. But MC isnt dumb enough to get snuck up on by him (he has a radar and chuck can’t sneak) and he is also not dumb enough to go near a g#y cowboy.

  99. Red Ninja July 4, 2008 at 10:02 am -      #99

    Chuck got kicked out of our ninja order because he couldn’t sneak. Just putting that out there.

  100. Final Words Guy July 4, 2008 at 10:15 am -      #100

    :twisted:
    !
    /!\
    / ! \
    / ! \ Chuck
    /!\ ! /!\ :shock:
    / \ /!\
    / \ o ! o
    / \ / \
    O MC O O O
    This shows chucks slim chances of winning.

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