Pirates Vs Zombies Vs Ninjas

Pirates Vs Zombies Vs Ninjas

EPIC. SHOWDOWN.

So here have pop culture’s favorite characters in a free-for-all bragging rights match.

Pick any famous pirate/ninja/zombie(?), and just about any setting – Which faction will emerge as the victor?

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75 Comments on "Pirates Vs Zombies Vs Ninjas"

  1. ElectricDC December 24, 2008 at 3:34 pm -      #1

    Well this all really comes down to a numbers game. Pirates are gone first because they would get eaten/cut to bits. Now we have Zombies vs Ninjas, this is where the numbers come into play, if there are more zombies they might win. But if the Ninjas have more peeps/their weapons, slaughterhouse.
    Ninjas win.

  2. Marche December 24, 2008 at 3:48 pm -      #2

    2 words….

    EPIC.
    that was one…
    BATTLE.

  3. iRobot Zombie December 24, 2008 at 5:21 pm -      #3

    First poster has a point, but if Rage Zombies are in play, it’s a whole different ball game! Pirates are out straight up. Ninja’s would have to be stealth, and it would only be their intelligence that would make them marginally better. A crowd of Rage Zombies and I defy anyone not to run, unless you got a handheld nuke!

    (tigergrape from Digg.)

  4. Only the nose knows December 24, 2008 at 6:47 pm -      #4

    I have to agree with ElectricDC, it’s more or less a numbers game. I believe that no matter what, pirates are going to lose. I wouldn’t beileve that they would have the skills to beat ninjas, and with how long it wouldtake to reload weapons zombies would easily over run them. It becomes hard when it comes down to zombies and ninjas though. Ninjas would have no problem out running them, but how many would they have to hack and slash through? If we knew the numbers it would make a difference, but at the end I would say ninjas would win it.

  5. The One Sin December 24, 2008 at 7:01 pm -      #5

    Zombies ftw. numbers and being unable to stop is what clenches this for them.

  6. marche December 24, 2008 at 7:51 pm -      #6

    well i do think a ninja could slaughter a group of zombies(depending on what ninjas) by slashing them up and throwing things at the brain.
    plus the abilty to actually strategize would most likely put this in the ninjas favor.

  7. Baron Somebody December 24, 2008 at 9:41 pm -      #7

    Ninjas would win, they have the best training, speed, agility, skill, and intelligence of the other two

  8. fooby December 24, 2008 at 10:22 pm -      #8

    pirates are very cunning

    zombies have numbers

    ninjas have skills

  9. sto0fo0 December 25, 2008 at 2:27 am -      #9

    It depends on the setting, pirates would win on the water I think because I don’t think zombies can swim, ninjas can run on water but im sure its only short distances. Can ninjas run on choppy waters?

  10. That one dude December 25, 2008 at 12:07 pm -      #10

    maybe if it was the ninjas on Naruto they can walk on water.

  11. HeroofTime85 December 25, 2008 at 10:09 pm -      #11

    I say ninjas. The post did say any famous ninja, pirate or zombie. That means we pick one in each category.

  12. The One Sin December 27, 2008 at 5:13 pm -      #12

    I can totally see where you guys are coming from but seriously, we saw or played resident evil. Zombies usually travel in packs, mostly big enough to take over a major city. The only thing ninjas could do is pull some mirror’s edge tactics and use the roofs to get out of the city.

  13. ElectricDC December 29, 2008 at 4:47 am -      #13

    Yeah, but think about this, one cop took out about 500 of those zombos, so just imagine what kind of massacre it would be if an entire team of ninjas was sent there.

  14. Matapiojo December 29, 2008 at 9:33 am -      #14

    Ninjas.

    They are far too elite when compared to the other two groups. Minless masses, or opportunistic scoundrels? Seems like neither is a true opponent to the might of silent assassins with “supernatural” powers.

  15. DeuceMojo December 29, 2008 at 7:32 pm -      #15

    Ninjas are purely a pipe dreram. What comes to mind when you think of ninjas? Lee Van Cleef as “The Master,” a potbellied ninja? “American Ninja,” the Keanu Reeves of ninjas? They’re all fictional.
    Same goes for pirates. And let’s face it — _real_ pirates, the horn-of-Africa-style, aren’t cool, tough, or particularly dashing.
    Zombies, however, are REAL. Do you dare deny how badASS Dawn of the Dead is? Left 4 Dead? Do you??

  16. L-W December 29, 2008 at 10:30 pm -      #16

    Clint Eastwood would defeat them all. No questions, no worries.

  17. Matapiojo December 29, 2008 at 10:37 pm -      #17

    “Clint Eastwood would defeat them all. No questions, no worries.”

    I say there needs to be a tag battle of The Man With No Name and Roland, The Gunslinger vs Ninjas/Pirates/Zombies

    Much brain matter would splattered over the battlefield due to an immeasurable amount of lead flying at deadly speeds.

  18. KiraMasteroftheNote December 31, 2008 at 6:20 am -      #18

    Wrap your brains around this thought Mentlgen. Zombies from Naruto or Ninja Gaiden vs a whole army of the undead. (slow RE style zombies AKA the kind that exist) Lets give the whole zombie mass numbers between say 500 and 800. And our superninja squad has 6 members. Each fully trained and equipt and all have a unique style that is deadly. (Im excluding the pirates because they are useless except for boats, swearing, and rum)

    The setting is a city. Specifically Raccoon City. The zombies are evenly dispersed throughout the city like a recent outbreak would have them. The Ninjas are in a group atop the tallest building in the city which happens to be in the exact same distance all around to the outer wall. The Ninjas mission is to eliminate all of the zombies in the city. 8:34 PM in mid October and the sun is fully down.

    Who wins?

  19. Space marine December 31, 2008 at 6:40 am -      #19

    Maybe stubbs the zombie could kill them……but then again……..ninja gaiden ninja’s are awsome…..and have bikes!!!! :P

  20. swifterdeath December 31, 2008 at 10:58 pm -      #20

    “Wrap your brains around this thought Mentlgen. Zombies from Naruto or Ninja Gaiden vs a whole army of the undead. (slow RE style zombies AKA the kind that exist) Lets give the whole zombie mass numbers between say 500 and 800. And our superninja squad has 6 members. Each fully trained and equipt and all have a unique style that is deadly. (Im excluding the pirates because they are useless except for boats, swearing, and rum)

    The setting is a city. Specifically Raccoon City. The zombies are evenly dispersed throughout the city like a recent outbreak would have them. The Ninjas are in a group atop the tallest building in the city which happens to be in the exact same distance all around to the outer wall. The Ninjas mission is to eliminate all of the zombies in the city. 8:34 PM in mid October and the sun is fully down.

    Who wins?”

    duh the ninjas…

    zombies are to slow.

    anyway. i think it should be left 4 dead zombies…make a about a thousand of the horde…20 hunters, 15 smokers, 25 Boomers, 10 Tanks, and 5 witches.

    all of these zombies around the city against six ninjas, that would be worth watching.

    depends on the ninjas and i think they could win if they didnt get picked out one by one. i mean Tank could distract them as a smoker grabs then and a Boomer vomits on them. then while they are distracted fighting off the horde a hunter pounces.

  21. onesidedfight January 1, 2009 at 1:57 am -      #21

    While everyone is fighting jack sparow goes to an abondened island with a lady and a lifetime of food, and let’s them all get eaten/straved to death.

  22. salwa January 1, 2009 at 10:55 pm -      #22

    am I the only one who stands up for pirates????
    at least give them a chance. assuming that there are 6 ninjas,
    500 zombies, and, lets say, 100 pirates, they would probably figure something out.
    maybe escape it all and drink. :p
    ninja’s and zombies battle it out, their all weak by the end. not many are left and then pirates come in,kill off the rest, and drink some more.

  23. onesidedfight January 2, 2009 at 2:43 am -      #23

    2 for the pirates!

  24. Zach January 2, 2009 at 9:10 am -      #24

    Well pirates have guns so they could shoot the zombies and ninjas until they get over whelmed by the on coming forces of zombies and ninjas. So pirates would die out in like 2 days. So all we have left is zombies and ninjas. Zombies aren’t really smart but ninjas ARE really smart. I’m giving this one to the ninjas.

  25. Matapiojo January 2, 2009 at 9:26 am -      #25

    “am I the only one who stands up for pirates????
    at least give them a chance. assuming that there are 6 ninjas,
    500 zombies, and, lets say, 100 pirates, they would probably figure something out.
    maybe escape it all and drink. :p
    ninja’s and zombies battle it out, their all weak by the end. not many are left and then pirates come in,kill off the rest, and drink some more.”

    Unlikely.

    A very likely scenario would be for Ninjas infiltrating the Pirates’ ships and assasinating the poor saps. Then they proceed to unleash the projectile hell uppon the zombie masses inland.

    After, its just a matter of cleaning up any stragglers.

  26. L-W January 2, 2009 at 8:33 pm -      #26

    Depends on the Zombie class.

    If this was “Return of the Living Dead” caliber, then both Pirates and Ninjas would beg for death.

  27. Space marine January 3, 2009 at 12:29 am -      #27

    Ninja gaiden ninja’s fight super phallic shaped undead objects of doom.
    Ninja’s FTW!!!!

  28. =[BF]=JimmieRox January 4, 2009 at 5:19 pm -      #28

    Zombies fail, Pirates have boats which have cannons which are sweet, Ninjas just rule this fight!

  29. WTF OMG ITS A SPARTAN January 6, 2009 at 11:44 am -      #29

    ninjas would to totally win because they have NINJATS!!!!!!!!!!!
    ( AKA Ninja cats) and then the cats would run through the streets without the zombies attaking them because zombies eat human flesh so they could roam and kill freely. : D : D : D : D : D : D : D : D : D : D

  30. the cheerful whale January 12, 2009 at 9:36 am -      #30

    i think if its the zombies from left for dead they would stand a pretty good chance they kill everything so the ninjats wudnt work lol. and they have the which the tank the smoker the hunter and boomer and then just the regular swarm. i dont think the ninjas have a chance theyd be able to kill a lot but no matter hu you are u will eventually get tired and therefore ded.pirates cud last longer but they would have to get off the boat to get food some time.. so i go zombies just cause of sheer numbers

  31. =[BF]=JimmieRox January 17, 2009 at 11:40 am -      #31

    What if they were the Darkseekers from I Am Legend?

  32. Jwlynas January 17, 2009 at 3:08 pm -      #32

    Hmm… chosing our own examples?

    That sets a bad precedent…

    Lets see….

    Evil dead zombies (Deadites, if you prefer) vs 3 ninjas (Colt, Rocky and Tum tum) vs The Pirates of Darkwater.

    Yeah, Ninjas don’t win that one do they!

    90’s cartoons win every topic.

  33. The One Sin January 19, 2009 at 10:04 am -      #33

    “Yeah, but think about this, one cop took out about 500 of those zombos, so just imagine what kind of massacre it would be if an entire team of ninjas was sent there.”

    500 out of a city population. In raccoon city there were about a hundred thousand people living there but that was a fictional city, In my home city of Cincinnati there are roughly 364,040(within city limits). New york stands at about 19,306,183. If this takes place in a major city than Zombies win. But another factor is zombie type: If it’s t-virus outbreak type than they will face mutations Like nemesis, If the ones fro left 4 dead are used, You got hordes of normal infected along with the special infected and their strange abilities.

    I can see ninjas escaping, but not winning.

  34. The One Sin January 20, 2009 at 12:56 pm -      #34

    I forgot to mention his but we have to look at pirate type too. I just starting of the black pearl crew fro the first pirates of the caribbean movie and they would own. They could kill zombies all day because they are literally undead, and I doubt ninjas could take them down.

    Pirates still have some hope depending on this.

  35. the cheerful whale January 22, 2009 at 3:51 am -      #35

    does goku count as a zombie coz hes always dyin and comin back to life.

  36. The Chosen One February 4, 2009 at 11:20 pm -      #36

    Im gonna say every Pirate every ninja every zombie is in play.

  37. The Chosen One February 4, 2009 at 11:21 pm -      #37

    Zombies can win in numbers alone. Counter Arguments welcome

  38. Hunter137 February 8, 2009 at 3:24 am -      #38

    Lets pick jack sparrow, some stupid zombie and sub zero
    sub zero owns,but if jackie, stupid zombie and subby call their friends…..
    pirates would die because theyr weapons are stupid against zombies, even todays guns are useless against a big amount of zombies so pirates are gone…and ninjas can killtha zombies, i mean if mila can do it hundreds of ninjas incluiding subzero, kakashi and ryu hayabusa would kill those idiot zombies

  39. Thepocalypse February 10, 2009 at 7:36 pm -      #39

    Depends really on numbers.
    1. Zombies. Are we talking a Class One? Class Four?
    2. Pirates. Chinese fleet or Atlantic loners?
    3. Ninjas. A large group a la Naruto, or some loners as seen in CTHD?

  40. cyborg pirate ninja jesus February 15, 2009 at 8:00 am -      #40

    are the zombies undead or sorta like the rage virus coz if they are undead then zombies coz they wont die and people will just get worn out and eventually eaten if its rage virus then its either ninjas or zombies dependin where the virus gets loose…pirates just suk in general

  41. hellatus February 18, 2009 at 6:23 am -      #41

    i dont think the zombies will get to the pirate’s boats can htey swim? i guess the pirates will be fireing cannon balls att the ninjas and zombies getting unharmed unless the ninjas do somethin abt it

  42. cyborg pirate ninja jesus February 19, 2009 at 4:50 am -      #42

    yeh but theyll run out of food eventually and have to come onto land

  43. darksalad March 2, 2009 at 5:21 am -      #43

    What about ninja-pirates, since they are are both they can count as either, they would win, becose while pirates might have the edge against zombies(their style of fighting is more forceful then ninjas who while they might be deadly at killing, tend to use shriuken which since zombies can’t be killed by having their throughts slit, would’nt do much).

  44. Hamonlord March 6, 2009 at 6:11 pm -      #44

    I like zombies more than the pirates, but the ninjas would kill them both with their speed and skill. No contest.

  45. Spellca March 15, 2009 at 7:19 pm -      #45

    Alright…this seems like a dead fight (no pun intended). Zombies claim victory.

    I am guessing an enviroment during the 1800’s – primarily a Japanese village owned by a ninja clan. Pirates come looking for loot and the ninja want to slay them. Assuming, the infection is spread by a strain of the Black Plague and zombies are born. No matter how many shurikens, lead pellets and cutlass slices in the end you are dashing, swimming or limping away from the hungry undead. Zombies don’t need oxygen…so they will bob in and out of the waves pulling under any unlucky “Jack Sparrows” that don’t get onto the boat fast enough.

    So rather quickly, the ninja warriors are now up against an onslaught of plague-driving undead. Their improvised weapons and ninja skills will save them some longer moments of breathing but one by one the horde will gain the personification of silent death into their ranks.

  46. Preston April 8, 2009 at 3:46 am -      #46

    Ninjas are very smart cunning fast and have you ever seen their arsenal of weaponary? well since pirates have guns but are only single shooters im guessing theyll probaly survive for a few hours or days if it was a crew and a few cannons. A whole army of ninjas though up against zombies to me is a total win. If they were to lose do acrobatics to a building ot somwhere safe to form a new plan or just use last resort jutsus. the Final battle to me is that pirates maybe drnk in the end as the ninja comes rushing to the final enemy

  47. sangheli_special_ops_elite April 11, 2009 at 5:11 am -      #47

    big deal the pirates would go by and shoot their cannons from their ships when the zombies go in the water they’ll turn and run with zombies following them under water so since zombies are chasing pirates ninjas are win since both their enemies are gone

  48. Preston April 14, 2009 at 12:56 am -      #48

    Ninja FTW !!!! Exactly to follow my post the pirates will eventualy lose ammo and eaten to bits

  49. Battra Boy April 14, 2009 at 4:47 am -      #49

    Just send in Bruce Lee. Its all over.

  50. Dante Chief July 30, 2009 at 9:07 am -      #50

    Pirates kill the zombies, ninjas kill the pirates. ninjas ftw

  51. Preston August 11, 2009 at 9:13 pm -      #51

    @ Battra Boy Hell Yeah The best ninja ever known

  52. Black Hand August 11, 2009 at 11:03 pm -      #52

    Are only stereotypes of the following allowed or do we follow their definitions. I certainly hope we aren’ t talking fictional ones.

    By definition, pirates are
    “One who robs at sea or plunders the land from the sea without commission from a sovereign nation.”

    making them an extremely diverse group including those javelin tossing madmen from the ancient times to Ak47 wielding motorboat driving renegade seamen.

    They are not to be underestimated

  53. ninja_wid_nunchux August 25, 2009 at 12:23 am -      #53

    One word – Ryu Hyabusa

    Ninjas are highly skilled badasses designed to make you bleed your own blood, without even breaking a sweat…

  54. Whacko December 8, 2009 at 2:09 pm -      #54

    The Ninjas win. If nothing else they got Naruto, and a single high level Naruto ninja can squash sveral thousand zombiez in no time at all.

    Kakashi, the kages, Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Madara, the sannin, the seven swordsmen, akatsuki and others are all very capapable of killing off virtually any possible number of zombies. If it’s so many even these guys begin sweating, they’ll üse 2 secs to get away, get some rest and then jump back into the fray. And Pirates aren’t a factor at all.

  55. michael May 23, 2010 at 12:10 am -      #55

    I’d like to point out that people who claim Pirates would be cut down because “X” have never done any research. Pirates were Marines who after their countries stopped needing them, realized they were quite good, Imagine if you took a marine today, versus ninjas, versus zombies, all this is is Past marines, versus ninjas, versus zombies. as for where i’m putting my vote, Pirates, ANY pirate? Asdrubael Vect, after a quick search of games workshop, that’s what came up with dark eldar.
    Can your ninjas traverse space? and enter a dimension that if you saw you would go insane, or your head would explode from the impossibilities. If hovering tanks aren’t a factor, i REALLY want to know what the F*ck your ninjas are using!

    BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! MAIM BURN KILL!

  56. ://hack=infiniticomplex September 22, 2010 at 6:42 pm -      #56

    Pirates got seriously shafted in the support area of this debate. Not even hellatus, who has Luffy as his avatar pointed out that pirates includes all those freaks from One Peice.
    Straw Hat Pirates(protagonists):
    Monkey D. Luffy
    Roronoa Zoro
    Nami
    Usop
    Sanji
    Tony Tony Chopper
    Nico Robin
    Franky
    Brook
    Seven Warlords of the Sea:
    Dracule Mihawk
    Don Quixote Doflamingo
    Gecko Moria
    Bartholomew Kuma
    Boa Hancock
    The Four Emperors & Crews:
    The Red-Hiared Pirates
    Red Haired Shanks
    Ben Beckman
    YasoppLucky Roux
    Rockstar
    The Whitebeard Pirates(just the commanders, theres 1600 total men)
    Whitebeard
    Marco
    Portagas D Ace
    Jozu
    Thatch
    Blamenco
    Rakuyou
    Namur
    Blenheim
    Curiel
    Kingdew
    Haruta
    “Water Buffalo” Atmus
    Speed Jiru
    Fossa
    Izou
    The last two emperors are Kaido and Big Mom
    The Eleven Supernovas(only the ones not previously mentioned)
    The Kid Pirates
    Eustass Kid
    Killer
    The Hawkins Pirates
    Basil Hawkins
    The Drake Pirates, led by X. Drake
    The Heart Pirates
    Trafalgar Law
    Bepo
    Jean Bart
    The On Air Pirates led by Stratchmen Apoo
    This list grows too long and I grow bored, but it’s not just sheer numbers these pirates have. Their crazy anime powers, be they of the Devil Fruits such as Luffy’s elasticity, or natural awesomeness, such as Dracule Mihawks swordsmanship, these guys are tough. I think it’s the zombies who’re in the most trouble here, due to the lack of amazingly overpowered hero characters.

  57. DReager1 April 13, 2012 at 11:41 am -      #57

    Ninjas take this. They’ve got Sasuke Uchiha! Also Itachi Uchiha and Madara Uchiha. Not to mention Naruto and Kakashi!

  58. GuardianAngel1911 April 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm -      #58

    well currend Kabuto is a snake/Dragon sage which puts him beyond Orochi and right now he’s giving the brothers Uchiha a rough time, he could do serious damage, course they can’t kill him right now cause of edo.tensi

  59. DReager1 April 13, 2012 at 1:14 pm -      #59

    Yeah, I think Ninjas easily take this :D

  60. GuardianAngel1911 April 13, 2012 at 1:22 pm -      #60

    I don’t know One Piece is pretty powerful…..

  61. DReager1 April 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm -      #61

    Well, they are tough, but I don’t think they can take on Narutoverse. Not to mention that One Piece is pretty much the only series with notable pirates, aside from Naruto we have Bleach (Yoruichi, Soi Fon) Hunter X Hunter (Hanzo) and more tough guys

  62. GuardianAngel1911 April 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm -      #62

    Soulcalibur has ninjas as well. And the green lion pilot of Voltron comes from a planet of hyper genius tech ninjas, so they may count.

  63. DReager1 April 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm -      #63

    Yes, they definitely count! So Pirates may be a little out of their league. I’m sure if we think hard enough we could think of some….but can they win? That’s the question :cool:

  64. GuardianAngel1911 April 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm -      #64

    Honestly I can’t think of a way for a zombie win. Pirates I don’t know for sure

  65. DReager1 April 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm -      #65

    Yeah, I’d say Zombies are out. Well Pirates put up a good fight, but I don’t see how they win this -_-

  66. mrgendrons 2.0 June 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm -      #66

    Pirates.
    —–
    Theyve got a boat and zombies can’t swim.

  67. mrgendrons 2.0 July 8, 2012 at 7:19 pm -      #67

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Anne%27s_Revenge
    ——
    ^if their near water pirates might take this.

  68. Commander Cross July 8, 2012 at 7:37 pm -      #68

    Zombies Speed-Blitz Ninjas, if we go by the Dresden Files’ take on Zombies, at least.

  69. hellboy147 July 8, 2012 at 7:46 pm -      #69

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUD-j66FRow&feature=related
    _
    This pirate is too bad ass to be defeated!

  70. mrgendrons 2.0 July 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm -      #70

    @Commander Cross
    I think I’ll go with pirates considering they’ve got the weapons,vehicles. and advantage of not really being effected by zombies(as zombies can’t swim)

  71. Amm0vamp1r3 September 28, 2012 at 7:05 pm -      #71

    I think ninjas take this (idont know one piece) but i think the ninjas have the skill,power, and numbers.

  72. Rookie September 19, 2014 at 5:47 am -      #72

    I’l go with ninjas.

  73. Ellie Williams September 19, 2014 at 5:58 am -      #73

    Pirates have superior firepower.

  74. God Of Godzilla October 26, 2014 at 10:29 am -      #74

    Zombies win via one of the marvel zombies with the power cosmic

  75. Malenfant October 26, 2014 at 11:00 am -      #75

    Composite ninjas include E10 Sidereal’s, who are martial arts masters that can do things like instantly punch opponents into ducks with no abilities aside from those inherent to ducks. They also have powers defined as “I win”.

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