Dracula, his coffin and ships

Dracula, his coffin and ships

Suggested by Amm0vamp1r3

Dracula (Bram Stoker Novel) instead of boarding the Demeter, Dracula’s coffin is put on the following ships, Unknown to them of course.

-The Jackdaw (Assassins Creed Black Flag)
-The Black Pearl (Pirates of the Caribbean)
-The Normandy (Mass Effect)
-The Deathstar (Star Wars)

What happens?

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26 Comments on "Dracula, his coffin and ships"

  1. pimpmage November 19, 2015 at 12:42 am -      #1

    No clue what that incarnation of dracula can do. :/

  2. AbsoluteZero November 19, 2015 at 2:13 am -      #2

    The classic Dracula, while competent isn’t exactly.. capable, compared to his amped up to all get out progeny.

    The Jackdaw probably gets demetered. As does the Pearl. The crew of the Normandy should be able to take him apart. As should the Death Star.

  3. Ninja Lowk November 19, 2015 at 2:13 am -      #3

    EDI throws him out the airlock.

  4. erickyboo November 19, 2015 at 2:16 am -      #4

    Funny, Mage. It’s THE Dracula. The original.

  5. mack006 November 19, 2015 at 3:28 am -      #5

    lol Dracula gets shanked in the last two scenarios

    Darth Vadar feels the Vampire through the force and proceeds to hunt him down.

    Shepard would have shagged half the crew by now and would know if some imposter is gonna steal his bitches. Dracula shall suffer the wrath of Shepard.

  6. Darth Bombad November 19, 2015 at 6:21 am -      #6

    Isn’t OG Dracula just a sad walking corpse with a hook nose, bad breath and unibrow?.
    I mean most of what we think we know comes from movies, sunlight isn’t even a thing.

  7. Rookie November 19, 2015 at 6:40 am -      #7

    @Darth Bombad

    “Isn’t OG Dracula just a sad walking corpse with a hook nose, bad breath and unibrow?.”

    Nah, it’s Orlok: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Orlok

  8. AbsoluteZero November 19, 2015 at 6:47 am -      #8

    OG dracula has a very classy moustache. But I don’t see that helping him here.

  9. AbsoluteZero November 19, 2015 at 6:58 am -      #9

    Now, I’ll actually add useful information.

    Classic Dracula is said to have the strength of several men, but it’s never really been feated. He isn’t burned by the sun, but it dulls his powers. He can enthrall people over time (See Renfield) and make them do whatever he pleases. He can also telepathically communicate with these thralls over vast distances.

    He has an unknown amount of power over the weather. He killed the crew of the Demeter and brought the ship to shore by making the winds carry the vessel. He also used the winds to accelerate his ship when he was escaping London. The winds also turned against Harker and Helsing, to slow down their pursuit.

    He can turn into mist, or a wolf, or a bat. But doesn’t really have any remarkable combat abilities in any form. They’re for subterfuge. He’s got power over the meaner things in life. Insects, spiders. He can also command wolves.

    He’s royally screwed over however, because he’s got pretty much no speed feats, and has a history of being hurt by being shot. While piercing his heart is required to put him down permanently, mincing him in a hail of bullets is a very practical route, and it could take him centuries to recover if left untouched in that state, provided he ever could.

    Hell, the Black Pearl might even be too much for Dracula. Captain Jack Sparrow has clashed with Davy Jones, who i’d argue is significantly more dangerous than classic Dracula. Jones is more durable, has more weather control, teleportation, and a literal connection to the afterlife.

  10. Friendlysociopath November 19, 2015 at 8:52 am -      #10

    I know almost nothing about Assassin’s Creed- so I can’t think about that one.

    Now, the Black Pearl is tricky for one reason and one reason only- it’s currently trapped in a bottle. We don’t even know if the crew is alive except the monkey.
    BEFORE it was in said bottle is was under the control of Barbossa, someone who- when last we checked- was not at all fond of supernatural creatures. If he discovered Dracula was on the ship I’d be willing to wager he’d have the men throw the coffin overboard immediately.

    Normandy bones Dracula, EDI might not know he’s placed “on” there but she is very likely to find out he’s there once he’s onboard.
    Now, whether they’ll kill him is hard to say, Shepard has legit feats of being able to make people see things her way- I would not be surprised if her and Dracula joined forces.

    Deathstar is like 99% dependent on whether Vader figures out Dracula is there. If he doesn’t it will be a slow descent into a vampire controlling a planet-busting ship that can fly around the galaxy.
    Assuming of course this hypothetical occurs before a certain farmboy grossly violates physics to blow it up.

  11. Amm0vamp1r3 November 19, 2015 at 10:15 am -      #11

    Dracula his Coffin and Ships, I like it. Much better than my title which I believe was “Dracula vs Some ships” lol

    Thanks Rookie

  12. Friendlysociopath November 19, 2015 at 10:33 am -      #12

    Although I don’t think it would go so far, Normandy presents an interesting idea in IF Dracula could turn the entire crew- EDI could vent the air and kill everyone.
    Then it becomes Vampire vs Ship where neither can really do anything to the other- unless EDI has her ME3 body in which case Dracula might be even more screwed than he already was.
    Oh, plus Legion possibly, I always forget about Legion.

  13. Jake_Uzumaki November 19, 2015 at 10:35 am -      #13

    Well if the Black Pearl could prove problematic for Drac then I wouldn’t give him much better odds against a ship with a dual sword wielding assassin and his pirate crew (assuming Aduale has the same basic mechanics as Edward when its under his control it wouldn’t change much either way) so in either case with the Jackdaw he could potentially run into trouble if he gets into open combat. That’s a big if…but if the Jackdaw starts running around doing weird shit the Assassins and Templars both would likely notice and get involved and shits going to go downhill from there.

  14. Aelfinn November 19, 2015 at 12:24 pm -      #14

    I don’t think Dracula’s getting enough credit here. I’ve got some quotes from the original novel, and it’s being laid out by Van Helsing:

    “This vampire which is amongst us is of himself so strong in person as twenty men; he is of cunning more than mortal, for his cunning be the growth of ages; he have still the aids of necromancy, which is, as his etymology imply, the divination by the dead, and all the dead that he can come nigh to are for him at command; he is brute, and more than brute: he is devil in callous, and the heart of him is not; he can, within limitations, appear at will when, and where, and in any of the forms that are to him; he can, within his range, direct the elements: the storm, the fog, the thunder; he can command all the meaner things: the rat, and the owl, and the bat – the moth, and the fox, and the wolf; he can grow and become small; and he can at times vanish and become unknown.”

    “He can transform himself to wolf… he can be as bat. He can come in mist which he create – that noble ship’s captain proved him of this; but from what we know, the distance he can make this mist is limited, and it can only be round himself. He can come on moonlight rays as elemental dust… He can become so small – we ourselves saw Miss Lucy, ere she was at peace, slip through a hairbreadth space at the tomb door. He can, when once he find his way, come out from anything or into anything, no matter how close it be bound or even fused up with fire – solder you call it. He can see in the dark – no small power this, in a world which is one half shut from the light… He can do all these things, yet he is not free. Nay; he is even more prisoner than the slave of the galley, than the madman in his cell. He cannot go where he lists; he who is not of nature has yet to obey some of nature’s laws – why we know not. He may not enter anywhere at the first, unless there be some one of the household who bid him to come; though afterwards he can come as he please. His power ceases, as does that of all evil things, at the coming of the day. Only at certain times can he have limited freedom. If he be not at the place whither he is bound, he can only change himself at noon or at exact sunrise or sunset… It is said, too, that he can only pass running water at the slack or the flood of the tide. Then there are things which so afflict him that he has no power, as the garlic that we know of; and as for things sacred, as this symbol, my crucifix…”

    “My friends, we are going into a terrible danger, and we need arms of many kinds. Our enemy is not merely spiritual. Remember that he has the strength of twenty men, and that, though our necks or our windpipes are of the common kind – and therefore breakable or crushable – his are not amenable to mere strength. A stronger man, or a body of men more strong in all than him, can at certain times hold him; but yet they cannot hurt him as we can be hurt by him.”
    =
    =
    So what do I see here? He’s got necromancy, can shrink himself down to a “hairsbreadth”, has the strength of twenty men, and is durable enough that twenty men aren’t enough to hurt him. He doesn’t have much in the way of speed feats, but there is one scene where he dodges someone’s knife using “demonic speed” while weakened from the sun.
    =
    EDIT
    Here’s the speed thing:
    ““Suddenly with a single bound he leaped into the room, winning a way past us before any of us could raise a hand to stay him… Harker evidently meant to try the matter, for he had ready his great Kukri knife, and made a fierce and sudden cut at him. The blow was a powerful one; only the diabolical quickness of the Count’s leap back saved him… The next instant, with a sinuous dive he swept under Harker’s arm, ere his blow could fall, and grasping a handful of the money from the floor, dashed across the room, threw himself at the window.”

  15. Friendlysociopath November 19, 2015 at 12:53 pm -      #15

    and is durable enough that twenty men aren’t enough to hurt him.

    Eh, I can see how you came by that but there really wasn’t a mention of him being that durable.

    “his are not amenable to mere strength. A stronger man, or a body of men more strong in all than him, can at certain times hold him; but yet they cannot hurt him as we can be hurt by him.”

    A peak human can restrain or at least hold him back somewhat, a far cry from “strength of 20 men”.

    Don’t the Oceans count as running water anyways? Shouldn’t he be violently ill while on the pirate ships?

  16. Shadow-Knight November 19, 2015 at 2:16 pm -      #16

    Ok, I don’t know about the other rounds but he gets boned on the normandy
    . Me 1 normandy is really small (a submarine in space) with virtually no cover. Wrex tosses him out the air lock after he gets pumped full of holes.
    —-
    Me 2 normandy is bigger, more cover and hiding spots ; however , the end result is the same. Grunt does the tossing this time. (Since I love the idea of drac throwing down with a krogan).
    —-“””
    Me 3 normandy is the same result but with Edi as the trump card

  17. Aelfinn November 19, 2015 at 3:14 pm -      #17

    “Eh, I can see how you came by that but there really wasn’t a mention of him being that durable.”

    I mean, it says “or a body of men more strong in all than him, can at certain times hold him; but yet they cannot hurt him”. AKA “if you get a bunch of guys who are all together stronger than Dracula, they still wouldn’t be able to hurt him”. Helsing points out that Dracula can survive more than a normal person, that’s his point. Of course, you can get around this durability by slashing his throat and/or stabbing his heart with a bog-standard iron knife, but the durability is still there.

    The “at certain times” bit probably refers to the fact that a crazy person used his crazy powers to hold onto Dracula’s mist form. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but “crazy powers” is pretty much the explicit reasoning given in the book. Dracula then changed back to his human form and immediately smashed the dude’s head into a concrete wall, so Dracula can be restrained, just…you know, it probably won’t stay that way.
    =
    “Don’t the Oceans count as running water anyways? Shouldn’t he be violently ill while on the pirate ships?”

    Dracula can’t cross water under his own volition except at high tide.
    “The captain swore polyglot, very polyglot, polyglot with bloom and blood, but he could do nothing. The water rose and rose, and he began to fear that he would lose the tide altogether. He was in no friendly mood, when just at full tide, the thin man came up the gangplank again and asked to see where his box had been stowed. Then the captain replied that he wished that he and his box, old and with much bloom and blood, were in hell. But the thin man did not be offend, and went down with the mate and saw where it was place, and came up and stood awhile on deck in fog. He must have come off by himself, for none notice him. Indeed they thought not of him, for soon the fog begin to melt away, and all was clear again.”

    Here’s the “own volition” thing:
    ” Tomorrow we are to see the Vice Consul, and to arrange, if we can, about getting on board the ship as soon as she arrives. Van Helsing says that our chance will be to get on the boat between sunrise and sunset. The Count, even if he takes the form of a bat, cannot cross the running water of his own volition, and so cannot leave the ship. As he dare not change to man’s form without suspicion, which he evidently wishes to avoid, he must remain in the box.”

    I think he should be fine on the boats, so long as he stays on the boat.
    =
    =
    “Ok, I don’t know about the other rounds but he gets boned on the normandy”

    They don’t know he’s on the ship, and he can shrink down to incredibly small sizes. Dracula’s all about hiding and running away, he doesn’t fight people one-on-one unless he knows he’ll win.

  18. Ninja Lowk November 19, 2015 at 4:05 pm -      #18

    “They don’t know he’s on the ship, and he can shrink down to incredibly small sizes. Dracula’s all about hiding and running away, he doesn’t fight people one-on-one unless he knows he’ll win”

    Hence where EDI the ship he is in comes in. She watching and she never sleeps. Which is creepy but provides a pretty good security measure of something trying to sneak through her.
    Also ME is probably the only fiction of the bunch that’d have advanced knowledge due to thier history mirroring our own up to a certain period.
    fun note: The ship that flew space alien female Dracula in the series was called Demeter.

  19. Amm0vamp1r3 November 19, 2015 at 4:18 pm -      #19

    “It is here. I know it now. On the watch
    last night I saw It, like a man, tall and thin, and ghastly
    pale. It was in the bows, and looking out. I crept behind
    It, and gave it my knife, but the knife went through It,
    empty as the air.” And as he spoke he took the knife and
    drove it savagely into space.


    Plus that mist form of his would give him some pretty decent odds of not getting touched by a few people

    He had to come out of the mist to struggle with me. I held tight, and I thought I was going to win, for I didn’t mean Him to take any more of her life, till I saw His eyes. They burned into me, and my strength became like water. He slipped through it, and when I tried to cling to Him, He raised me up and flung me down. There was a red cloud before me, and a noise like thunder, and the mist seemed to steal away under the door.”

    Plus he can mental drain the strength from people

    As for his speed, if I recall right he was able to clean an entire room before Harker could turn around but id have to look for that


    fun note: The ship that flew space alien female Dracula in the series was called Demeter.

    Wait what?

  20. AbsoluteZero November 19, 2015 at 5:46 pm -      #20

    “fun note: The ship that flew space alien female Dracula in the series was called Demeter.

    Wait what?”

    Yeah, The Ardat-Yakshi Morinth in Mass Effect 2 was a Dracula reference. She escaped Samara on the ship Demeter.

  21. Darth Bombad November 19, 2015 at 6:50 pm -      #21

    Novel Drac also has weaknesses we don’t normally think about. Like communion bread.
    Or placing a rose on the lid of his coffin, which will effectively trap him inside.

    I think even bullets can permanently kill him if they’re consecrated. Does ME have priests?.

  22. Amm0vamp1r3 November 19, 2015 at 7:53 pm -      #22

    Yeah, The Ardat-Yakshi Morinth in Mass Effect 2 was a Dracula reference. She escaped Samara on the ship Demeter.

    Holy crap, never caught that O.O

  23. Jake_Uzumaki November 19, 2015 at 8:43 pm -      #23

    so since Vader is here might as well post some new feats
    using the Force on proton torpedos
    3.bp.blogspot.com/-lR-nA3aSP9Y/VkyzmTIfd_I/AAAAAAASnhQ/7INLEmQSvSY/s1600/68_09.jpg
    1.bp.blogspot.com/-jrL5wpxFqKA/VkyzmQSkZII/AAAAAAASnhM/sAB7za21XlM/s1600/68_10.jpg

    killing Y-Wings with debris after surviving Luke kamikazing him.
    2.bp.blogspot.com/-y6IgAuZbMUQ/VkyzppmzL6I/AAAAAAASnis/SD6MHDAE0nQ/s1600/68_23.jpg
    4.bp.blogspot.com/-2UuswbPhQwo/Vkyzp0CISsI/AAAAAAASni4/6HOuKFEOhWw/s1600/68_24.jpg

  24. Jake_Uzumaki November 19, 2015 at 8:46 pm -      #24

    An entire Rebel company surrounds him, Vader couldn’t give fewer shits.
    4.bp.blogspot.com/-2UuswbPhQwo/Vkyzp0CISsI/AAAAAAASni4/6HOuKFEOhWw/s1600/68_24.jpg
    4.bp.blogspot.com/-Lkjf8o2F7Fo/VkyzqtImmDI/AAAAAAASnjU/lx6qNHffVgQ/s1600/68_27.jpg
    Vader’s bout to go Samurai Jack on those rebels.

  25. Shadow-Knight November 20, 2015 at 12:47 am -      #25

    @Darth B.
    ” Does ME have priests?”
    ——-
    Not exactly. Ashley is catholic….or something . Closest thing to a priest they have is Sumara who is a Justicar “Warrior monk”. Thane also has a prayer book and has spent time with Drell/hannar priests.

  26. Jake_Uzumaki November 20, 2015 at 1:52 am -      #26

    just realized I put the wrong image first in post 24 4.bp.blogspot.com/-MOORVoUe_us/VkyzqUN7HoI/AAAAAAASnjM/nZW0_zumFU4/s1600/68_26.jpg

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