Psyker Vs Jedi

Psyker Vs Jedi

Suggested by mack006

Deep within the BankGambling headquaters, The Admin felt bored and decided to play around with his subjects a bit as well as the world he resides in. He decides to visit each of us in our dreams and grant us the choice of being a psyker (Warhammer 40k) or a force user (Star Wars). Those who chooses to be a psyker will be granted a force weapon while force users will be given a lightsaber. Not content with that, Admin also kidnaps Gregor Eisenhorn and Obi-Wan Kenobi from their respected universes in order to educate the young Facts in how to master their powers.

So what path will you choose? A space wizard or a space monk? You decide Facts.

Who will win?

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61 Comments on "Psyker Vs Jedi"

  1. Friendlysociopath August 10, 2015 at 12:06 am -      #1

    Rogue Trader has taught me well the ways of the Psyker- much better than being a Jedi.

    Is this a contest between the Jedi and Psykers the two teachers can amass? Or just a numbers game?

  2. Monochrome August 10, 2015 at 12:07 am -      #2

    Depends do I eventually get corrupted by Chaos? Because if so I may just end up going for the best out of a shit situation and go serve Papa Nurgle. Seeing as he keeps all his servants no matter what I’d say he’s the best of the four chaos gods.

  3. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 12:13 am -      #3

    Jedi.

    Psykers sometimes die… for like no reason, the warp and shit. Also being one of the only two psykers (me and the teacher) we would attract a lot of daemon attention.

    Also, force weapons are huge, probably would not be able to lift the damn thing.
    – – –
    If i was a Jedi though…. Dual lightsabers, one purple one green/blue, and i would be a super hero, it would be awesome. Or i would just use my precog to win the lottery, what evs.
    – – –
    … is this actually a match? the description is ambiguous

  4. Ninja Lowk August 10, 2015 at 12:23 am -      #4

    I’ve learned that all wh40k stuff is negative grimdark aftereffects. I’ll go with the force.

  5. Nobunaga Jin August 10, 2015 at 12:27 am -      #5

    I have to choose Psyker, though not for any reason that involves one being better than the other. It’s because my friend would choose Psyker, go crazy and kill something before going down. I just want to be there when it happens.

  6. Ragnorke August 10, 2015 at 12:32 am -      #6

    I’ve been liking Jedis less and less since i started Factpiling, although they used to be the bomb in my eyes.

    Are we talking EU Jedis here? Or Disney-canon?
    Because my god Disney-canon jedis are useless.

  7. pimpmage August 10, 2015 at 12:46 am -      #7

    Being a psyker is horrible. You are always plagued with bad dreams, sometime deformities, you a bit mad after a while too. Being a sanctioned psyker, your allies will have a gun to your forehead for your entire life. Jedi have no such negative repercussions from being sensitive. Being a jedi would be a breeze.

  8. Commissar Gaunt August 10, 2015 at 12:51 am -      #8

    I would clearly be the man behind the psykers. I would want to be a Librarian or Grey Knight thought.

  9. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 1:00 am -      #9

    Would a Psychic Hood work to nullify Jedi power? If so, then I want to go – TO THE LIBRARY!

    “Being a Jedi would be a breeze”

    Unless you have any sex drive; if this is us as we are now, then you’d probably go Vader if you aren’t asexual.

    In all seriousness I would want to be a Librarian; better equipment, sexy armor and a muscular physique, powers to make men submit to the will of the Emperor, and the freedom to do what I want so long as I don’t stray into Chaos – sure, Jedi are nice and all, but there isn’t any fun to be had without being constantly nagged at by old people set in their ways

  10. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 1:04 am -      #10

    “and a muscular physique”

    Pretty sure that does not instantly come with the psychic powers.
    – – –
    “but there isn’t any fun to be had without being constantly nagged at by old people set in their ways”

    I always did wonder why using the force meant you had to be an emotionless douche or a homicidal douche. No middle ground, it’s weird.
    But then i found this:

    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi

    No idea if it’s legit, but i like the idea.

  11. Ninja Lowk August 10, 2015 at 1:11 am -      #11

    “Unless you have any sex drive; if this is us as we are now, then you’d probably go Vader if you aren’t asexual.”

    Kanan seems to do fine and he been trying to get him some Hera since before they even became Rebels.

  12. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 1:11 am -      #12

    It comes with genetic augmentation from becoming a Space Marine; or, from another prospective, you could manipulate the Warp to stimulate muscular growth and cellular regeneration to enhance your figure – best part about magic is that it is limited only by imagination, willpower, and death. Which is why I would opt for Soace Marine backstory; death sucks.

    “I always did wonder why using the force meant you had to be an emotionless douche or a homicidal douche”

    Unfortunately it says “Jedi” in the match description without a Sith presence, so have fun being an emotionless douche until OP changes it – Midiclorian discrimination!

    “Kanan seems to do fine”

    And a sociopath seems normal until they blow people’s brains out of their ears. Just wait – something Sith will happen (if the story is continuing)

  13. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 1:15 am -      #13

    I know a sociopath, you can’t really tell though, really friendly.

  14. Ninja Lowk August 10, 2015 at 1:17 am -      #14

    “No idea if it’s legit, but i like the idea.”

    I think Ahsoka and Kanan are the current canon version. Ahsoka left the jedi order and Kanan had to reject his jedi teachings to survive. But neither went dark side. And I still think they identify as being jedi.

  15. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 1:21 am -      #15

    4 Psyker’s

    2 Jedi

    1 depends

    2 Whom did not really choose
    – – –
    15 comments in and i made a tally. I really need to find something else to do.

  16. pimpmage August 10, 2015 at 1:22 am -      #16

    Being a psyker doesn’t mean you are a space marine. And a space marine would NOT be trained by an inquisitor. This thread most definitely meant for you to be a basic human.

  17. Ninja Lowk August 10, 2015 at 1:26 am -      #17

    “something Sith will happen”

    Going by his backstory it was actually a struggle for him to rein in the jedi help others thing.
    He and Obi-wan had to go from helpful monks to barely noticeable citzens who don’t get involved. They are still jedi but they had to restrict a whole part of the orders teachings to fit in.

  18. Neon Lord August 10, 2015 at 1:27 am -      #18

    Psyker has better powers, but a Jedi is more stable. This is actually quite a tough decision.

    Probably Jedi though. Living everyday with a risk of your brain spontaneously exploding is a bit too much risk for my liking.

  19. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 1:38 am -      #19

    “Basic humans”

    Well, looks like it’s the ranks of the Ordo Hereticus for me, then. Head explosion would suck, but funneling power out of the body (say, into a force weapon) would mitigate the risk of Mental-Impairment Cranial Implosion Syndrome.

    Technically speaking, Pimpmage is bound by his name to become a Psycher; can’t be a Pimpmonk, after all, since anything relating to sex is frowned upon.

    Will we be having Sith buddies in this match, OP? If so, then I might be undecided at that point

  20. pimpmage August 10, 2015 at 1:45 am -      #20

    I dislike starwars, but I’d rather be a jedi. Living as a psyker means you will most likely get yourself killed in the worst way imaginable. Jedi’s could just act like humans and live a normal life. Influence a mind or two, maybe a handess handjob or two.

  21. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 1:47 am -      #21

    “maybe a handess handjob or two.”

    Does it really count if you are the one doing it though?
    – – –
    4 Psyker’s

    4 Jedi

    1 depends

    1 Whom did not really choose

  22. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 1:50 am -      #22

    “A handless handjob or two”

    Well, I could imagine that lesson…

    Padawan: Master, I’m doing it-I’m doing it!
    Jedi: No, young padawan! That isn’t what I meant by pushing and pulling the target!
    Me: Think of it as…endurance training…he’s learning to influence weaker minds with the force.
    Jedi: But what he is doing is-
    Me: That is my answer and I’m sticking to it. Yes.

  23. pimpmage August 10, 2015 at 2:15 am -      #23

    “Well, I could imagine that lesson…”

  24. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 2:18 am -      #24

    Damn it-leave it to YouTube to put out a perverted joke before I do.

    Still serving the Admin of Man until the OP decides to officially say “Sith and Gray” otherwise I have the best idea for a Force Weapon

  25. mack006 August 10, 2015 at 2:51 am -      #25

    Oh wow…
    Did I actually wrote “Who will win?”
    My bad.

    I choose Jedi cos better safe than sorry. I don’t want my head to suddenly explode. I’ll stick to simple but practical

  26. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 3:07 am -      #26

    Like I said, only idiots keep enough Warp energy in their bodies to allow their heads to explode; think of it as redirecting lightning in the Last Airbender; allow the energy to flow and don’t allow it to stagnate in the body or else risk destroying yourself. It’s a basic principle that the Sanctioned Psychers can’t seem to grasp; most of the cases of “oh shit his head popped” have come from the Sanctioned, but the instructor is Inquisition, so little chance of that happening.

  27. Ragnorke August 10, 2015 at 3:11 am -      #27

    To the person that said they’d be a Jedi superhero…

    Just keep in mind canon Jedi’s can’t block bullets that:
    1. Are fired any faster than once every second.
    2. Are fired from any closer than 10 meters away.
    3. Are fired from a gun with a high muzzle velocity.

    Considering the world we live in, you wouldn’t be much of a super hero. Jus’ sayin.

  28. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 3:16 am -      #28

    I live in England, bullets will most likely never be an issue. Because we have sensible laws.

    And Even if guns are involved, i prefer the stealth/mind trick method of takedown, like psychic batman. With lightsabers, because lightsabers are fucken awesome.

  29. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 3:21 am -      #29

    Just realized that the match said we had to choose what to be-it says nothing about actually doing the crap in those verses, so no fighting Chaos pawns! YAY!

    On that note, the Brits have plenty of guns left over from World War 2 and anyone can get anything anywhere with enough money; a gun is easy to acquire there, anyway, since one need only buy parts using several people, then assemble them into a completed weapon – friend in Japan had several illegal weapons there using that method (before he died – blacked out during skydiving)

    Psychers can do force manipulation crap, too. Just saying.

  30. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets August 10, 2015 at 3:24 am -      #30

    Hmmm, well, I mean…Can I be EU Jedi and then go all Chaotic Evil and then go True Neutral ? OP didn’t say I have to stay Lawful Good the whole time.

  31. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets August 10, 2015 at 3:43 am -      #31

    @Anyone who knows about WH40K So, just did a quick google search on Psyker’s and saw something about discipline’s, and had to ask do Psyker’s stay in one discipline only? Or can they do multiple disciplines?

  32. Ragnorke August 10, 2015 at 3:44 am -      #32

    “I live in England”

    *highfive*
    Where abouts?

  33. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 3:51 am -      #33

    *highfive*

    High five
    – – –
    “Where abouts?”

    Originally essex, currently suffolk, moving to oxford in September.

    And you?

  34. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 3:53 am -      #34

    Psychers usually stay in one profession, but I think it is entirely possible to have a Sanctioned become a Librarian if he survives being genetically enhanced and going through the Space Marine training regimens. Don’t think it’s actually happened, but it’s a possibility.

    In terms of actual powers – the disciplines of how they use Warp energy – is entirely dependent upon the Psycher; some may prefer to immolate eyeballs or rupture organs, but in general a Psycher is a wizard whose only limits are self-imposed. An Inquisitor might use Telepathy to interrogate an enemy one day while using Pyromancy to melt his bones the next. As I recall, Sanctioned can create protective wards while attacking enemies and detecting other Psychers and psychics.

  35. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets August 10, 2015 at 3:59 am -      #35

    @Ciridae Hmm, so if I went Psyker, I wouldn’t be limited to any one of these sets of abilities?

    wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Psyker#Psychic_Disciplines

  36. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 4:04 am -      #36

    If the Sanctioned can do it, then so can you!

    Seriously though, our instructor is perhaps the best of the best-he can manipulate minds and splatter them on walls whenever he chooses or he can kill them with conventional weapons or use his Force Weapon to bring them down; most Psychers can augment their physical bodies and Librarians can even sense and nullify other psychics using the Psychic Hood to amplify their abilities. Plus you wouldn’t be restricted by any moral guidelines imposed by the Jedi Order

  37. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 4:07 am -      #37

    And being the only psychic you will be under constant attack by daemons.

  38. Ragnorke August 10, 2015 at 4:07 am -      #38

    Oh i was at Oxford! I honestly didn’t like it.
    Moved to Southampton, which was probably the best time of my life.
    Moving to Edinburgh Scotland next month.

    University student?

  39. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 4:11 am -      #39

    “University student?”

    Will be in September, Brookes, not “Oxford Oxford”. Doing biomedical science.

  40. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 4:15 am -      #40

    “And being the only psychic you will be under constant attack by Daemons.”

    And, unlike Jedi, I can one-shot them with my Force Weapon and destroy them body and soul – the Jedi just have plasma sticks that can’t even make an enemy bleed out. Our instructor was able to ally himself with a Daemon by using a Chaos ritual (and the life of a less-powerful ally) so not really a challenge – more of a nuisance to deal with.

    Besides, a Jedi in our world is more likely to die from being shot by an embassy guard or a back alley thug than a Psycher trained by an Inquisitor dying in a duel against a Chaos Daemon

  41. Ninja Lowk August 10, 2015 at 4:19 am -      #41

    “Just keep in mind canon Jedi’s can’t block bullets that:
    1. Are fired any faster than once every second.
    2. Are fired from any closer than 10 meters away.
    3. Are fired from a gun with a high muzzle velocity.”

    Thats cool. Personally I’d go the obi wan route. He recently disarmed multiple guys, flung them about, and slammed a guy in his own car. All without being in sight of them. I could be a one man poltergiest.

  42. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 4:20 am -      #42

    “And, unlike Jedi, I can one-shot them with my Force Weapon and destroy them body and soul”

    Well, daemons wont be a problem for jedi, and i would like to see a psyker one shot a greater daemon.
    – – –
    Can you even lift your force weapon?

  43. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets August 10, 2015 at 4:22 am -      #43

    “If the Sanctioned can do it, then so can you!”

    So, I can get really, really really, good with all those sets of POWAH!?

    Might change over to Psykers…Just want more info.
    =
    “use his Force Weapon to bring them down”

    ???
    =
    “Plus you wouldn’t be restricted by any moral guidelines imposed by the Jedi Order”

    Well, I mean, OP never said you HAVE to stay Lawful Good.
    =
    So, what’re the best feats for Psykers? Not too familiar with either side in all honesty, but I do know more about Force Users, the highest feat I know of is tearing out a star’s core and using it as a projectile weapon, but I know nothing about the Psyker’s best feats.

  44. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets August 10, 2015 at 4:23 am -      #44

    “Can you even lift your force weapon?”

    Yes…

  45. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 4:27 am -      #45

    “Daemons wouldn’t be a problem for a Jedi”

    So you are capable of destroying both a physical body and a corrupting soul created by the Chaos Gods? Most conventional weapons in Warhammer don’t even scratch Daemons – Force Weapons are required to deal with them consistently and completely.

    “Can you even lift your force weapon?”

    Despite the hilarity of that, I have to say yes. Each Force Weapon is made for (and/or by) and bound to a Psycher; a customized weapon just for that one Psycher to amplify and channel power of the Warp. My weapon is called the Chain of Man’s Chaos and it is relatively lightweight for such a weapon. Plus telekinetic powers are also in a Psycher’s ballpark, so I can make it float too

    “I could be a one-man poltergeist”

    more like psychic Batman.

    “OP never said you have to stay Lawful Good”

    Never clarified if we could be anything but that, either; asked about it twice with no reply

  46. Ninja Lowk August 10, 2015 at 4:32 am -      #46

    “Plus you wouldn’t be restricted by any moral guidelines imposed by the Jedi Order”

    Currently the jedi order is broken. Any master you get would be a force user who has learned to survive outside of any guidelines.
    Plus, at some point your operating under the honor code. I mean after you’ve learned all that really stopping you is your own morals. Going by Ahsoka, you can straight up leave with whatever power you got as long as you aren’t evil.
    ===
    “more like psychic Batman.”

    I think I’d be less heroic and more of an annoyance.

  47. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 4:33 am -      #47

    “So you are capable of destroying both a physical body and a corrupting soul created by the Chaos Gods?”

    Not what i am saying. I mean that jedi do not use the warp, therfore if you pick Jedi the warp does not exist, they literally are not a problem.

  48. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 4:46 am -      #48

    Misunderstood what you were saying, so I apologize Lady.

    As for abilities, a lot of the really good stuff lies within the Chaos Psychers; the ability to mutate enemies, manipulate time, inflict great pain by overloading the nervous system, as well as receive unique powers depending upon the God whom you worship. Allying with Chaos also means that you won’t be attacked by Daemons or being possessed unless you will it so or you piss off your God.

  49. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets August 10, 2015 at 4:53 am -      #49

    “As for abilities, a lot of the really good stuff lies within the Chaos Psychers; the ability to mutate enemies, manipulate time, inflict great pain by overloading the nervous system, as well as receive unique powers depending upon the God whom you worship. ”

    So, what else can they do? What’s the scope of their powers, how much can they affect with it?

    Like I said, highest feat for Jedi, that I know of, is using a star’s core for a projectile weapon. Granted, I probably won’t ever have to use something like that, but I still like having that ability. Granted, I don’t know much else about the scope of their abilities besides that.
    =
    “Allying with Chaos also means that you won’t be attacked by Daemons or being possessed unless you will it so or you piss off your God.”

    Hmmm, you see, you had me up until the point of selling myself to a god(at least that’s what it’s sounding like)and constantly being attacked by daemons…

  50. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 4:53 am -      #50

    Whereas if you just pick Jedi, you get a nice set of powers that are diverse and powerful enough to be useful in a whole range of situations. You don’t have to worry about the perils of the warp, daemon attacks, your teacher trying to kill you for being a heretic, a bajillion life threatening operations.

    And if you make the right choice, i mean pick Jedi, you get a FRICKEN LIGHTSABER. ONLY THE COOLEST WEAPON EVER OF ALL TIME. It poses no threat to it’s wielder in anyway.

  51. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 5:11 am -      #51

    “Selling myself to a god”

    Kvorne is basically the Chaos whore; he’ll take anyone for a spin if they want it and he doesn’t violently kill anof his followers – though honestly if you were a member of the Imperium of Man then you would have access (in theory) to the Emperor of Man’s divine power if he willed it so.

    I would pick Sith if I could but they have no Sith instructors plus my idea for the Chain of Man’s Chaos is better than choosing a single or double-sided plasma dildo for a weapon. For now – unless the OP clarifies Sith or Gray as a choice – then I, as a lover of style and of lore that isn’t just “Midiclorians are God so fuck you lol”, am obligated to stick with my original choice.

  52. Ragnorke August 10, 2015 at 5:12 am -      #52

    ““Can you even lift your force weapon?””

    img2.brain4.photobox.com/767748340d43423cad3c3f5cfede15028e5263d960a8f1c5b9a667189543cb8ac5afdba7.jpg
    Dunno… Can i?

  53. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 5:31 am -      #53

    No, no you can’t. Because you are not a 10 foot tall armour plated, alien killing machine.
    – – –
    “better than choosing a single or double-sided plasma dildo for a weapon.”

    Who doesn’t want a pocket sized, double ended plasma dildo? Just thinking about it makes me tingle all over.

  54. Ragnorke August 10, 2015 at 5:35 am -      #54

    “No, no you can’t. Because you are not a 10 foot tall armour plated, alien killing machine”

    Well i just started my first steroid cycle a few days ago, and i certainly feel like a 10 foot tall armor plated alien killing machine.

  55. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 5:39 am -      #55

    As I mentioned before Lady, a Psycher’s weapon is made specifically for them; it doesn’t have to be some Baneblade-sized buster sword or a Longinus-sized polearm – all a force weapon is is a conduit for channeling Warp Energy. Even a small rapier can function as a force weapon if you slap it with enough Warp energy. Plus telekinesis is a power for Psychers. So once again, the answer to your question is yes: I can lift it.

    And you are thinking of Librarians and Grey Knights – the Psychers among the Space Marines. Gregor Eisenhorn is pretty frail for an Inquisitor and his Force Weapon is a sword cane which he uses as an actual cane when not fighting. He’s also shorter than ten feet.

  56. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 5:52 am -      #56

    “Well i just started my first steroid cycle a few days ago, and i certainly feel like a 10 foot tall armor plated alien killing machine.”

    Maybe that feeling will translate into psychic potential and make you mentally buff too?
    – – –
    “As I mentioned before Lady, a Psycher’s weapon is made specifically for them”

    Yes you said, i was quoting red dwarf.

    Not the most modern of obvious of references but i like it.

  57. Total_Overkill August 10, 2015 at 5:53 am -      #57

    Without a doubt, Psyker, the potential outweighs all associated risks.

    I mean… whats the worst that could happen? ;-p

  58. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 6:00 am -      #58

    “I was quoting Red Dwarf”

    Once again I apologize; I tend to avoid most social media. I’m not hip, pop-fly, groovy, psychedelic, cool, radical, and I’m not fantabulous, fantabulicious, or even sextastic or brotally swagical.

  59. LadyRamkin August 10, 2015 at 6:02 am -      #59

    It was an over 20 year old reference…

  60. mack006 August 10, 2015 at 6:08 am -      #60

    Gregor Eisenhorn is a old man and he is able to wield his force sword pretty well. They come in a variety of sizes ranging from XS (for midgets) to XXL (for space marines). Hell it doesn’t even have to be a sword, it could be anything! A staff, a axe, a mace, a hammer, halberds, etc.

    Many inquisitors carry force weapons, they are almost identical to a regular power sword except with the psychic amplifier.

  61. Ciridae Hunter August 10, 2015 at 6:09 am -      #61

    “It was an over 20 year old reference…”

    My entire life is a reference older than that-and I’m not even that old (Lord, do I feel like it, though).

    Is it just my imagination, but are children becoming even bigger assholes as time goes by? I see some kids act out and I think “if I acted like that my mother would have beaten my ass with a phone book”-is it just me, or do you guys see this happening also (not sure about on your side of the pond, but as a Yank I can tell you some of these charlatans need discipline)?

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