Sam Fisher and Solid Snake Vs Indominus Rex

Sam Fisher and Solid Snake Vs Indominus Rex

Suggested by peter

Sam Fisher (Splinter Cell) and Solid Snake (Metal Gear) will go against The Indominus Rex from Jurassic Park.

No guns or explosives, one knife each. Snake does not have stealth camo. Battle takes place on Isla Nublar (Jurassic park).

Who will win?

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372 Comments on "Sam Fisher and Solid Snake Vs Indominus Rex"

  1. Karen Starr July 10, 2015 at 12:06 am -      #1

    the Indominus haxorsaurus Rex eats them both. I mean fuck they are going to die. Like super die that thing was OP as fuck.

  2. Nsl98 July 10, 2015 at 12:07 am -      #2

    I Rex.

    All they have is knives? Dang….

    I Rex could potentially just keep ramming them and they die. It hits harder than a 50 cal, runs 40 mph+, and got tossed through a building by the T-Rex.

    It was pimp slapping raptors and it took 4 dinos to beat it. Good thing Shamu was there to save the day, otherwise I Rex would’ve won the end fight.

  3. Ninja Lowk July 10, 2015 at 12:15 am -      #3

    Geez, didn’t even give them guns.
    Should’ve suggested Guts or something. Someone at least marginally superhuman in strength maybe.

  4. Jake_Uzumaki July 10, 2015 at 12:34 am -      #4

    So two soldiers on foot with knives vs a stealth tank with steak knives teeth that can fool modern technology because it was created as a genetic template to make a weapon to kill soldiers and worked too well. This is almost literally what the Velociraptor Cuttlefish Carnataurus frog Gigantosaur Majungasaur Therizinosaur Rugops and whatever other fucking modern animals they dumped in the DNAsaurus Rex was designed for. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some Great White Shark in that bitch..maybe some Komodo Dragon.

    Unless Sam and Solid release Rexie(from JP 1 and the finale of World) and just let the fight play out similarly to the final battle of the movie but them instead of raptors….they fucked. And thats really their only chance is to get Rexie to fight I-Rex. Otherwise I-Rex is eating a Snake’n’Fish dinner.

  5. Darth Bombad July 10, 2015 at 12:38 am -      #5

    @Peter Here this is for you.
    www.threadbombing.com/data/media/30/motivator3593515nh2.jpg

  6. Friendlysociopath July 10, 2015 at 12:43 am -      #6

    I-Rex was able to pretty casually flip a truck into the air; Snake and Sam are so boned.

  7. Mea quidem sententia July 10, 2015 at 12:54 am -      #7

    Too bad it’s not called Indomitus rex (wild king).

  8. Xornell July 10, 2015 at 2:13 am -      #8

    Jesus. I mean… Jesus.
    Jurassic World was the worst movie I’ve seen all year.

  9. Rookie July 10, 2015 at 2:23 am -      #9

    @Xornell

    “Jurassic World was the worst movie I’ve seen all year.”

    It was so bad? I head that NC didn’t like how dinos looked, but aside from that it looks all was ok:

  10. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets July 10, 2015 at 3:19 am -      #10

    Uhm, why does Peter hate Sam Fisher and Solid Snake?

  11. Alpha or Omega July 10, 2015 at 3:33 am -      #11

    peter
    y u do dis?
    U dont riek stelth?
    /
    So…knives…
    …well…Snake stabs Sam. Then, he cooks and poisons Sam. And, finally, gives him to the Rex?
    Wood dat work?
    /
    Bullets were doing jack nothing and apparently the opponents are given knives?
    Snake isn’t super soldiery enough and Sam is only an expert with it.

  12. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 4:44 am -      #12

    @Alpha or Omega

    That could possibly work, but the I Rex has trap setting and problem solving intelligence, and it has a powerful sense of smell, hence why in the movie, Owen pretty much drowns himself in petrol.

    The I Rex tanked minigun fire from a helicopter, shotgun fire, can blend in with its environment and even control its own body heat, so that not even thermal vision can spot it. Its pretty nasty. Took a T-rex, 4 Raptors, a bunch of humans and a mosasaur drowning it to put this mother down.

    The I Rex will sniff Snake and Sam out, blend in with its environment so they can’t see it, blend its body heat in with the ambient temperature so they cannot use thermal imaging/vision, and then promptly eat them. And OP has given Snake and Sam….. Knives? Lol this is a ROFLSTOMP.

  13. Alpha or Omega July 10, 2015 at 5:01 am -      #13

    Snake using Sam as poison food was a joke.
    /
    “blend in with its environment so they can’t see it, blend its body heat in with the ambient temperature so they cannot use thermal imaging/vision,”
    /
    Snake’s solid eye is not really thermal imaging.
    It has that, but it combines it with several other vision modes.
    Sam’s Tritech goggles did have other vision modes that he can switch to aside from thermal IIRC.
    /
    “And OP has given Snake and Sam….. Knives?”
    /
    Well…at least he didn’t make them fight with only their hands.
    /
    “Lol this is a ROFLSTOMP.”
    /
    Indeed.

  14. Rookie July 10, 2015 at 5:03 am -      #14

    Rex for the win for now.

  15. AbsoluteZero July 10, 2015 at 5:15 am -      #15

    This fight, is so unfair. I propose we make a statement. That we even the odds. That we change the scenario so that Lucifer Morningstar is riding the I-Rex.

    Even.

    …what’s with all the odd looks?

  16. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 5:19 am -      #16

    What are Snake and Sam gonna do with those knives? Stab it in the eyes? At what point do they somehow raptor jump onto its back, before they are instantly thrown off due to not having the claws and balance of the raptors?
    And I just realised that this is set on Isla Nublar. Home field advantage much? It knows the terrain, its in a perfect environment suited exactly to its particular set of skills. Will it be able to call for raptor backup like in the movie?
    And Snake doesn’t have his camo? Seriously, OP must have a fetish for snuff films, cause the Indominus is gonna steamroll the two fleshy mammal things.

  17. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 5:23 am -      #17

    @AbsoluteZero

    “All I want is Dinosaurs with fricken LAZER beams attached to their heads!”

  18. Ninja Lowk July 10, 2015 at 5:28 am -      #18

    … Batman solos.

  19. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 5:30 am -      #19

    @Ninja Lowk

    But of course. But Batman isn’t here, so lil baby I Rex gets to make Snake and Sam its playthings.

  20. AbsoluteZero July 10, 2015 at 5:36 am -      #20

    @AreNamesNeeded

    “All I want, Is Lucifer Morningstar with a frickin laser beam, attatched to his fricken head.”

  21. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 5:39 am -      #21

    @AbsoluteZero

    While riding an Indominus Rex that also has fricken laser beams attached to its head.

  22. AbsoluteZero July 10, 2015 at 5:43 am -      #22

    @AreNamesNeeded

    Exactly. THEN, we’ll have a fair fight.

  23. CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets July 10, 2015 at 5:53 am -      #23

    “But of course. But Batman isn’t here, so lil baby I Rex gets to make Snake and Sam its playthings.”

    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/9a/15/fc/9a15fc7e82e455989b9cf64b7dbc1f6f.jpg
    =
    “All I want is Dinosaurs with fricken LAZER beams attached to their heads!”

    “All I want, Is Lucifer Morningstar with a frickin laser beam, attatched to his fricken head.”

    “While riding an Indominus Rex that also has fricken laser beams attached to its head.”

  24. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 6:00 am -      #24

    @CH1C4N0444 is allergic to bullets

    You magnificent person.

  25. AbsoluteZero July 10, 2015 at 6:13 am -      #25

    @Bullets

    I take your picture and raise you,

    static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11122/111223216/4561719-lucifer.jpg

  26. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 6:31 am -      #26

    @Absolute/Bullets

    I raise you both,

    pbs.twimg.com/media/CJi82t7WEAAFvXI.jpg

  27. AbsoluteZero July 10, 2015 at 6:34 am -      #27

    @AreNamesNeeded.

    I feel my previous image will suffice in answering this one as well. However..

    static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11115/111157674/3818192-0237146939-33444.jpg

    OP characters for the win.

  28. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 6:42 am -      #28

    @AbsoluteZero

    I take it you’ve never played the original X Com? Batman would still be looking for clues before he noticed the Chryssalid zooming towards him. Or he’d run out of time units. Either way, he’d soon be playing host to a slimy, toothy, jack in the box.

  29. AbsoluteZero July 10, 2015 at 6:46 am -      #29

    @AreNamesNeeded

    I’m not arguing for Batman. I’m arguing for Lucifer Morningstar and The Beyonder. Much easier.

  30. Xornell July 10, 2015 at 9:37 am -      #30

    “It was so bad? I head that NC didn’t like how dinos looked, but aside from that it looks all was ok:”

    Worse CGI than the original 20 years ago was a part of it, yeah. I’d have to watch it again to tell you all the details and exact reasons, but to give you a rundown:

    Campy-ass writing
    Unnecessary subplots
    Lazy writing in general was a big problem, like in the last half hour or so? (also kids dun care bout deenosawrs, dey jus want teef!)
    But most of all…
    It was a fucking circlejerk of the first three movies.
    Just about every scene in that movie was referencing, ripping off, or reminding the audience about other Jurassic Park movies. If I wanted to see the most iconic scenes of those movies I’d fucking watch them. Or better yet look up a youtube compilation. Why did I pay to watch the same scenes done poorly many years after the fact? It was like a parody of other JP movies, but without any sense of shame or comedy.

    I’m all for slight nods and homages to earlier works. Really. Done well they can definitely make a movie feel good. And of course there was going to be throwbacks to the old movies. They’re fucking classics. But there were just too many strung together. It was like the director was sitting behind you, tapping your shoulder saying “Hey! Hey remember that scene in JP? That was cool, right? Hey look here’s another? Ooh, remember those dinosaur fights from JP3? Look, guys, look!”

    Meanwhile, Terminator Genysis was just released…
    Despite being far more quote-able, they showed surprising restraint in the “self-referential scene” department than JW did, making the experience more enjoyable even though the movie wasn’t as good on the surface.


    That’s why Jurassic World was doodoo.

  31. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 9:54 am -      #31

    @Xornell

    I actually enjoyed Jurassic World. The first film was a classic. The second film was good. The third was absolute nonsense. T Rex got first bite in that fight, should have won there and then. And the acting was bad, the characters were terrible, and the film made no sense. The Spinosaurus could crash through that big ass metal fence, but not through that much smaller metal door? Pfffttttt…..

    And Jurassic World did have a few nods here and there to the originals, but it certainly wasn’t circle jerking them. It was actually quite clever the way they setup a lot of the scenes. And it had its own stuff. Hybrid Evil Dino. Check. Raptors controlled by evil dino. Check. Raptors working alongside humans. Check. I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember anyone training raptors, or working with them in the previous movies. And none of the previous movies had dinosaurs setting elaborate traps. Sure, they left a character in the opening, but that’s it.

    Just because you didn’t enjoy the film, and just because you think “Just about every scene” is a rip off, doesn’t mean it was actually a bad film, nor does it mean what your saying is true.

  32. Xornell July 10, 2015 at 9:57 am -      #32

    I just watched the NC review and it seems like he summed up a lot of my criticism.

    The difference is he was swayed by a poorly done CGI fight scene that made nearly no sense. He was won over with “ZOMG TREX”. He enjoyed the movie because of forced, poorly done, rehashed, nonsensical bullshit. I did not.

  33. Xornell July 10, 2015 at 10:12 am -      #33

    “The first film was a classic.”

    I’m on board here.

    “The second film was good.”

    Ehhh, I disagree.

    “The third was absolute nonsense.”

    Was better than the second, and JW, IMO.

    “T Rex got first bite in that fight, should have won there and then.”

    If we’re tallying up how many things don’t make sense in this series, we’re gonna have to start with Lost World :^)

    “The Spinosaurus could crash through that big ass metal fence, but not through that much smaller metal door?”

    I mean… Decrepit iron bars exposed to years of erosion would be weaker than a solid metal door not exposed to much of the elements, right? I mean… Right?

    “And Jurassic World did have a few nods here and there to the originals, but it certainly wasn’t circle jerking them.”

    Ohhh it was. Again, I’d have to watch the shitfest again to point it out every time, but two scenes that come to mind are:
    The early scene where two kids are trapped in a glass vehicle in which an attraction has gone wrong and are being attacked by a dinosaur.
    The scene where they just so happen to stumble into the visitor center from the first movie with JP 1 shit strewn everywhere. Literally just jerking it with props from the first movie.

    “Hybrid Evil Dino. Check.”

    This doesn’t do it any favors. Why is it evil? How is it smarter than most people; people who made it and were trained to deal with dinosaurs? Why the fuck does it have a cloaking device? Why’d they really need to make it in the first place?
    The answer? Iunno, just buy our movie. Pls.

    “Raptors controlled by evil dino. Check.”

    This didn’t make sense, though. Do pack hunters follow a leader based on time spent with them and experience, or because he’s just the biggest version of them around? Also the big dinosaur, who has had no contact with other dinosaurs other than slaughtering a bunch of them within 20 feet of each other in a field for teh lulz, can suddenly communicate with and give orders to a species he contains some of the DNA for? Fucking what?

    “Raptors working alongside humans. Check.”

    This is even worse. Especially toward the end where, opposed to all fucking reason, Chris Pratt’s team of raptors is suddenly his best friend and wanna help him fight big pappa dino. Because… The power of friendship is more powerful than biological instinct?

    “I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember anyone training raptors, or working with them in the previous movies.”

    You know, I don’t remember Jar Jar Binks being in any other Star Wars movies. Guess that makes Phantom Menace the best one :^)

    “And none of the previous movies had dinosaurs setting elaborate traps.”

    Well first of all, yes they did. The biggest threat in JP 1 was the raptors because of their ability to set traps. Remember the “clever girl” scene? Same goes for the other movies they’re in. Any more elaborate and it just gets fucking silly and unbelievable.

    “Just because you didn’t enjoy the film, and just because you think “Just about every scene” is a rip off, doesn’t mean it was actually a bad film, nor does it mean what your saying is true.”

    No, there were plenty of reasons why the movie was bad. The film jerking itself off with the other movies was just my biggest problem with it. The dialogue and character interactions were also shit, as were the characters themselves. It was a poorly written piece of shit that banked on nostalgia and a big name. And it worked.

  34. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 10:19 am -      #34

    @Xornell

    I actually missed some of those, didn’t realise xD Still, I enjoyed the film. I guess it depends on personal preference I suppose. Anyway, I Rex crushes this.

  35. Xornell July 10, 2015 at 10:52 am -      #35

    “I actually missed some of those, didn’t realise xD Still, I enjoyed the film. I guess it depends on personal preference I suppose.”

    Fair enough. You’re allowed to like things based on what you enjoy.

    “Anyway, I Rex crushes this.”

    I want to agree but… Doesn’t Snake fight some superhumans at some point?

  36. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 10:57 am -      #36

    @Xornell

    Snake had guns and camo and stuff then. He only has a knife and no camo in this fight. And I doubt the superhumans were like 30ft tall or however tall the I Rex is.

  37. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 11:54 am -      #37

    Well, Sam and Snake are both stealth experts, and there is a ton of stuff that was just left behind on isla nubla that they could use.
    – – –
    Mental note, when asked for name, it doesn’t actually want your name….

  38. Belisaurius July 10, 2015 at 12:19 pm -      #38

    Snake and Sam do have a chance but it mostly boils down to how long they can evade the Rex vs how long it takes for them to make a trap to kill it.

    Two knives aren’t going to do much against a three story lizard but two knives can carve weapons out of wood. They could, for example, make a punji stick trap and let the dino die from infection. Granted, this is like waiting for it to die of old age but it is an option.

    They could carve bows and aim for the Indominus’s eyes. They could dive in from above and put spears into it’s spin. They could slip a noose around it’s neck and tie the other end to a big ass rock and drop the rock into the ocean.

    But really, it comes down to how long can they dodge the giant lizard.

  39. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 12:33 pm -      #39

    Im with Belisaurius

  40. Epicazeroth July 10, 2015 at 12:38 pm -      #40

    @Xornell: “two scenes that come to mind are”
    Those are called references. They took scenes from the original and made them different. Besides, where did you think the original Park went?

    “Why is it evil? How is it smarter than most people; people who made it and were trained to deal with dinosaurs? Why the fuck does it have a cloaking device? Why’d they really need to make it in the first place?”
    You clearly did not watch the movie. It was explained like three times. All of that is because it was made as a living weapon, specifically designed to be able to kill humans.

    “This didn’t make sense, though.”
    Read TVTropes. The reason they attacked the InGen soldiers wasn’t necessarily because the I. rex told them to; it was because the soldiers shot at them.

    “Because… The power of friendship is more powerful than biological instinct?”
    Because the person who raised and trained an animal their whole life is more important than some random dino who showed up two hours ago. This happens in real life as well; wild animals raised by humans will recognize and protect them years later. Have you heard of dogs?

    “Guess that makes Phantom Menace the best one :^)”
    No, it makes it different from the originals. Also, Phantom Menace wasn’t bad.

    “It was a poorly written piece of shit that banked on nostalgia and a big name.”
    Interesting perspective.
    ===
    @Belisaurius: Where would they make a Punji stick trap? Where would they put the pit?

    You do know the I. rex has thermal vision, right? It would see or sense them before they could get it. It can also camouflage, and does when hunting.

    There is no way a Punji stick trap or spears would hurt the I. rex. Its armor deflects raptor claws and assault rifle bullets.

    Also, it’s not a lizard.
    ===
    @Names: Actually, it didn’t tank minigun fire. The gunner did that thing where he followed the I. rex with his bullets always two feet behind. Though, I did like that it was justified this time. Masrani’s shitty piloting threw his aim off balance.

  41. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 12:46 pm -      #41

    “You do know the I. rex has thermal vision, right? ”

    Source for that please.

  42. Nsl98 July 10, 2015 at 12:54 pm -      #42

    @Ramkin
    Aside from the fact that thermal sense was the reason it went to the big visitors area, here you go:
    screenrant.com/jurassic-world-hybrid-dinosaur-explained-spoilers/3/

    Bribed by Hoskins, Wu tailored the Indominus rex’s DNA (and subsequent traits) for durability and stealth – creating a monster that could be deployed at night (with thermal vision), strike quickly, and avoid detection from opposing forces (thanks to environmental blending and thermoregulation).

  43. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 1:06 pm -      #43

    @Epicazeroth

    Oh, I thought it did. I was sort of an idiot and forgot to bring my glasses to the cinema. Did that when I went to see the sequel of the Spideman reboot. Oh well. Its still tough as hell though. One badass Dino. It came, it saw, it ate everything in sight. And Snake and Sam won’t be dodging this thing much. They aren’t InGen employees, they don’t know what dinosaurs are like. They don’t even have camouflage. Its a game of cat and mouse, the best they can do is try to get it near the Mosasaur……

  44. Sauroposeidon July 10, 2015 at 1:14 pm -      #44

    Depends on if one can lure the I-Rex to Paddock 9 while the other gets to the control center. That would seal the deal in their favor, I would think.

  45. Glutinous-Bicarbonate July 10, 2015 at 1:19 pm -      #45

    Spoilers of course, but what with Xornell’s thoughts that’s kind of moot.

    The I-Rex can sense thermal imaging, “like a snake” Claire explains to Mazrani when he first visits the thing’s paddock.

    And then later after it escapes Mazrani grills Henry about it and Wu says it’s likely due to the DNA of a frog species he put into it that can regulate it’s own body temperature or something.

    Hiding from her is extremely hard, and it will literally go through buildings (albeit ones that have been decaying for decades) to chase prey.

    Which makes it pretty lame that it gave up so easily after Smallkid and Jackass jumped off a waterfall. I would have found it hilarious if it just leaped in after them.

    Yes, the movie disappointed me a great deal as well.

  46. Belisaurius July 10, 2015 at 1:31 pm -      #46

    Snake and Sam have dealt with thermal detection gear before.

  47. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 1:40 pm -      #47

    @Belisaurius

    Sam and Snake have not dealt with a giant camouflaging, trap setting Dinosaur before. And they have knives. KNIVES. The I Rex’s teeth are bigger than their knives.

  48. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 1:49 pm -      #48

    Snake has to deal with metal gears…. or somthing…. they are big and scary
    – – –
    Snakes can ‘see’ in the dark thanks to protein channels that are activated by heat from the bodies of their prey. Vipers, pythons and boas have holes on their faces called pit organs, which contain a membrane that can detect infrared radiation from warm bodies up to one metre away

  49. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 1:51 pm -      #49

    Snakes can ‘see’ in the dark thanks to protein channels that are activated by heat from the bodies of their prey. Vipers, pythons and boas have holes on their faces called pit organs, which contain a membrane that can detect infrared radiation from warm bodies up to one metre away

  50. Belisaurius July 10, 2015 at 1:58 pm -      #50

    @AreNamesNeeded

    On the other hand, Indominus Rex hasn’t dealt with two epic tier infiltrators before.

    And I’ve addressed the weaponry issues. They can make weapons in the field.

  51. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 2:02 pm -      #51

    Would it help if Sam and Snake still had access to their… feild…. com… people, for dino info?

  52. Glutinous-Bicarbonate July 10, 2015 at 2:05 pm -      #52

    But lets consider the punishment the Indominus has taken. When it slaughtered the ACU squad, one trooper was unloading round after round of some sort of shotgun directly into its charging face and and barely flinched.

    Then the special InGen soldiers were shooting all kinds of guns at it, doing nothing. A near miss of a rocket launcher knocked it over but seemed to do no actual damage.

    And then it gets mauled by raptors while Owen shot at it with another rifle at basically point blank range and later throws down with a T-Rex which gets plenty of good bites in, and it still only goes down after the fucking Mosasaur drags it under the water.

    Unless they make their punji sticks out of steel and as thick as tree trunks, who’s to say they’ll even breach the skin?

  53. Xornell July 10, 2015 at 2:05 pm -      #53

    “Those are called references.”

    Not when they inharmoniously bombard the viewer every 6 seconds and detract from the film developing itself. Which they did.

    “They took scenes from the original and made them different. ”

    This doesn’t make it okay though lmao. I’ve been over why this was a circlejerk. Pls.

    “You clearly did not watch the movie. It was explained like three times. All of that is because it was made as a living weapon, specifically designed to be able to kill humans.”

    No, it wasn’t actually. It was designed to have “lots of teeth” (such writing). Which I guess translates into being able to cloak and shit. And also being evil >:^)

    “Read TVTropes. The reason they attacked the InGen soldiers wasn’t necessarily because the I. rex told them to; it was because the soldiers shot at them.”

    But they didn’t. IIRC, a raptor doesn’t die until very late in that scene, and aren’t shot at until they are on Papa Dino’s side. And even then they focus fire it first. This also doesn’t explain why they’re Chris Pratt’s friends again later.

    “Because the person who raised and trained an animal their whole life is more important than some random dino who showed up two hours ago.”

    BUT THEN WHY’D THEY GO AWOL IN THE FIRST PLACE? The movie can’t have it both ways.

    “This happens in real life as well; wild animals raised by humans will recognize and protect them years later.”

    Does it? Do K-9 police units have to worry about bigger dogs of different breeds taking over their partners lol?

    “No, it makes it different from the originals. Also, Phantom Menace wasn’t bad.”

    It seems you missed the point and context of what I was saying entirely. 10/10

    “Interesting perspective.”

    I’ve already defended why the “homages” were harmful to the movie.

    “Actually, it didn’t tank minigun fire. The gunner did that thing where he followed the I. rex with his bullets always two feet behind.”

    Oh no, it did more than tank minigun fire. It tanked all kinds of ballistics, from rifles to stun guns to fucking a RPG. But yes, let’s get raptors to kill it.

    “Spoilers of course, but what with Xornell’s thoughts that’s kind of moot.”

    1. NC review was posted so I figured why not
    2. Need a plot to have spoilers ;^)

    “Smallkid and Jackass”

    I called them Loser and Generic Angsty teen.



    “Yes, the movie disappointed me a great deal as well.”

    Thank you, based GB.

  54. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 2:10 pm -      #54

    No matter how bad it was, it was still way better than i thought it would be, it was much better than the trailers made out, and it is superior to 3 in every way.

    It was bad, but i liked it…. like the hobbit 3

  55. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 2:14 pm -      #55

    @Xornell

    What is your unbiased opinion of the I Rex? As a stand alone creature, away from the movie, what do you think if it?

  56. Sauroposeidon July 10, 2015 at 2:36 pm -      #56

    I’m going to say that the movie was actually very good. Despite my fears, it delivered exactly what I wanted.

    That being said, there’s no point in debating the merits of the movie here. This isn’t the place for it.

    Nothing you argue about will surpass the giant gaping hole in the T-Rex paddock in the first movie that conveniently existed for a car to be tossed down when it wasn’t there during the T-Rex’s escape from said paddock. If you can accept that, you can accept every other problem in the Jurassic Park franchise. If you can’t, the franchise is not for you. Move along.

    Now, back to the fight.. I still think Rexy is their best shot.

  57. pimpmage July 10, 2015 at 3:00 pm -      #57

    How about you guys just vote to change match rules so that Sam and snake both get composite equipment.

  58. hellboy147 July 10, 2015 at 3:08 pm -      #58

    Really? Not even stealth camo for snake? They are both doomed pretty much. Pieces of cake for indominus Rex

  59. Nsl98 July 10, 2015 at 3:17 pm -      #59

    Now, back to the fight.. I still think Rexy is their best shot.

    Rexy was only doing well due to the raptors and Owen backing him up. Indominus was still winning and only lost cuz the whale thing dragged it under water.

    In this scenario, Rexy would be backed up by two dudes with knives, and no Whale Dinosaur-Ex-Machina.

    And how will they even know where to find the T Rex? And were starting distances decided on? I say we should at least give the stealth experts some time to apply their skills…

  60. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 3:28 pm -      #60

    @Nsl98

    Backing HER up xD All the Dino’s from the first film were gals. Its the same Rex.

  61. Friendlysociopath July 10, 2015 at 4:34 pm -      #61

    Pretty sure nothing Sam gets would be of any concern to the I. Rex. Granted, I’m not extremely familiar with Splinter Cell (only read a few books and Deathbattle) but he strikes me as very much not the guy to pack something big enough to take the I. Rex.

    Snake has a few guns that might mess with it; but not many; only ones that comes to mind would be RPGs or the railgun, maybe a really good sniper rifle.

    Also, isn’t Snake really old now?

  62. pimpmage July 10, 2015 at 4:44 pm -      #62

    I’m petty sure Sam has flash bang grenades, poison gas grenades, distraction grenades that can make tons of loud noise or small sounds. He has c4, thrown sticky taser things, and tons of silenced weapons.

  63. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 5:04 pm -      #63

    @Friendlysociopath @pimpmage

    They both only have knives and Snake doesn’t have his camo. OP hates these two I think.

  64. Nsl98 July 10, 2015 at 5:15 pm -      #64

    @ANN
    Backing HER up xD All the Dino’s from the first film were gals. Its the same Rex.

    Oh yeah, forgot about that.

    @Friendly
    Also, isn’t Snake really old now?

    Yes.

  65. pimpmage July 10, 2015 at 5:20 pm -      #65

    We are discussing this as a side conversation names. Much more reasonable to debate.

  66. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 5:31 pm -      #66

    @pimpmage

    Oh, okay then. I Rex also has lazer beams attached to its head, don’t you dare tell me it can’t be done. I won’t have any of that sea bass nonsense.

  67. Friendlysociopath July 10, 2015 at 5:31 pm -      #67

    They both only have knives and Snake doesn’t have his camo.

    Aye, per match scenario. However; short of T-Rex-Ex-Machina Snake and Sam are very, very, screwed; this was agreed to by more or less everyone present in some form or another.
    So some of us are debating whether the guns would’ve made a difference.

    @Pimp
    Oh I know about his toys (He mentions the shit he carries with him a lot in the books) but he’s a spy, he doesn’t pack guns big enough to hurt the I.Rex so far as I know.
    Flash Bangs probably wouldn’t stun it for long, if at all; and I doubt poison gas is doing anything to it. Which is why I was thinking about Snake’s guns since while he is also a spy, he’s much more willing and able to bring larger-scale guns to a fight.

    Also because Metal Gear has steadily become more and more crazy over the years; nanomachines, cyborg ninjas, supernatural warriors, etc. was the reason I wondered whether Snake might have a big enough gun to matter.

  68. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 5:35 pm -      #68

    “this was agreed to by more or less everyone present in some form or another.”

    What? When? I didn’t see anyone saying let’s give em guns.

  69. Friendlysociopath July 10, 2015 at 5:45 pm -      #69

    What? When? I didn’t see anyone saying let’s give em guns.

    Pimp totally said that mind you, but that’s besides the point- I just said we were discussing it since the regular version is very open and shut. That’s what happens to stomp matches; they’re either derailed, ignored, or modified. This would fall under “derail” unless everyone agrees to alter it, it would then be “modify”.

  70. Belisaurius July 10, 2015 at 5:52 pm -      #70

    Do we ever see bullets actually hit the Rex? It could be a case of Stormtrooper accuracy where they shoot a ton and miss every shot.

  71. Glutinous-Bicarbonate July 10, 2015 at 6:08 pm -      #71

    @Beli
    At the very least, Owen’s shots during the final battle had to connect, he was too close to miss. Plus there was the ACU trooper with a shotgun.

  72. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 7:15 pm -      #72

    Maybe Snake could kill Sam, scream “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!” and summon a Bloodthirster on the I Rex’s ass.

  73. Ninja Lowk July 10, 2015 at 7:51 pm -      #73

    “Maybe Snake could kill Sam, scream “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!” and summon a Bloodthirster on the I Rex’s ass.”

    I think you guys are all forgetting that unlike Snake, Sam gets faster and more agile as he ages. This is a classic run move faster then you friend scenario.

  74. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 8:04 pm -      #74

    @Ninja Lowk

    Okay then, Sam sacrifices Snake. Same result.

  75. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 8:22 pm -      #75

    Seriously, what complete idiot thought that this match was a good idea. COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT.

    Is there really nothing they can do?
    They can’t hide from it?
    No amount of pre-knowledge or prep time?
    What about if they had their satellite buddies that talk to them?
    Is there nothing on the island that they can work with?
    Abandoned equipment/vehicles?

  76. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 8:27 pm -      #76

    @LadyRamkin

    Like I said, the guy probably has a fetish for snuff films. Probably enjoys pain “Mm, such… delicious agony… Mmm… exquisite”.

  77. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 8:35 pm -      #77

    Im more inclined to think it went along the lines of:

    “Wow, that death battle was awesome, those characters I know nothing else about are cool, I should set something cool up with them. But what but what would be a suitable enemy? Not each other, that’s been done…. how bout something else that’s sneaky? The Indominus rex has that camouflage that it used once in that one scene and that was cool. Maybe those two fight the dinosaur? Yeah, man vs beast, each stalking each other through the jungle….. Like Buck and Rudy, that would be awesome…… But what is to stop them just feeding it a tone of bombs at range??? I know just give them knifes….. this can have no negative repercussions. But Snake can go invisible THAT SEEMS UNFAIR……”

    Like i said…. Complete idiot

  78. Friendlysociopath July 10, 2015 at 8:42 pm -      #78

    Like i said…. Complete idiot

    Play nice Ramkin 😛

    Is there nothing on the island that they can work with?
    Abandoned equipment/vehicles?


    The various vehicles we know that are on that island were very casually tossed aside by the I.Rex; they’re not going to be much help unless they somehow light the thing on fire with petrol.
    Burning through several inches of hide is not going to be easy nor fast, and it involves incredible amounts of stupid on the part of the I.rex.

  79. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 8:51 pm -      #79

    The engines on those abandoned cars still work right? Engines…. can explode? I think. Cars explode in films all the time. And all the frame work for the electric fences should still be around, so they could potentially rig that up. Those are something like 10’000 volts.

    2.bp.blogspot.com/-DfCedtdkEMc/UZGOybekPlI/AAAAAAAAAec/T2z5bAxIz0c/s1600/Japery.png

    They have a ton of tranquillisers laying around, they might be able to get the rex to ingest them somehow.

    And dont both of their outfits hide them from thermal detection? There are also dinosaurs that they can utilise. Lure the rex into them and stuff.

  80. Delta1207 July 10, 2015 at 8:53 pm -      #80

    To be fair, the I. Rex never really faced any real competition outside of the T-Rex (and arguably the raptors) Even the “professional” soldiers turned out to be the cliché professional soldiers who get their asses kicked severely because they were complete jackasses. I mean come on, those guys in JW may set a new record for dumbest Jurassic Park soldiers ever. When the Indominus came out of cloaking, the commander had to stare intently at the dinosaur (dramatic effect, I guess?) before he gave the order to fire. I think one retard charged the beast with a shotgun, even after observing how little that did.

    And Fisher and Snake are far above any soldier from the JW series. I’m not suggesting that they’d win against the Indominus, because they wouldn’t. But I’m willing to say that they would probably last for at least a fair amount of time, especially considering their stealth training. Killing the Indominus is out of the question however, and quite frankly, I don’t know what the hell the person who suggested this fight was thinking. It only makes it worse that he/she only give them a knife. WTF man? Even with guns, I don’t know how effective they would be, unless they somehow hit it in the eye…

    Here’s another question: Which was better, Terminator Genysis or Jurassic World?

  81. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 8:54 pm -      #81

    @LadyRamkin

    “Feeding it a tone of bombs”

    Sam (wearing a waiters clothes) “So, what’ll it be, the flaming grenade or the boomers delight?”.

    I Rex (Sitting at a table with a napkin on) grunts and points at the boomers delight.

    Sam “Okay Snake, that’ll be one boomers delight”.

    Snake (wearing a chefs hat) “I don’t get paid enough for this crap”.

  82. Jake_Uzumaki July 10, 2015 at 8:57 pm -      #82

    “Burning through several inches of hide is not going to be easy nor fast, and it involves incredible amounts of stupid on the part of the I.rex.”

    That and it would piss the thing off even more before really doing anything and do they really want this thing more pissed off? Unless they dig a pit, fill it with gas and somehow lure it into the gas pit then drop a match? Would that kill it though?

    But yeah none of the vehicles can help unless its help them leave the island, there might be a boat or spare helicopter maybe. And all the toys are the things that failed to stop the damn thing in the first place for the most part, we don’t know what if anything there is on the island that could do the job other than maybe doing something to blow it to kingdom come using all the gas and other explody stuff they can find on the island.

  83. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 8:59 pm -      #83

    Well, the place is a resort, they must have kitchens and stuff, which means gas right? Gas explosions can be devastating.

  84. AreNamesNeeded July 10, 2015 at 9:01 pm -      #84

    It would take them a LONG ass time to dig a pit the size you need for your Dinosaur BBQ supreme.

  85. Jake_Uzumaki July 10, 2015 at 9:03 pm -      #85

    ” I think one retard charged the beast with a shotgun,”

    He did that to let a couple of other survivors escape, or at least get some distance between them and the walking teeth. I can’t remember if they actually did live past that scene or not (I think it showed the two in question later on but I can’t remember now) but that was his intent.

  86. Super Combine July 10, 2015 at 9:11 pm -      #86

    @LadyRamkin
    “Engines…. can explode? I think. Cars explode in films all the time.”

    I’ve heard it’s possible in extreme cases, but it doesn’t happen like in the movies. I’ve been in car collisions before and they don’t end up turning into fireballs. I believe a more plausible way to cause a car to explode is to light it on fire and wait for the gas tank to heat up until it explodes.

  87. Jake_Uzumaki July 10, 2015 at 9:14 pm -      #87

    “It would take them a LONG ass time”

    Oh I didn’t say it wouldn’t, but I don’t know if it would kill it anyway.

    @LadyRamkin
    yeah there were kitchens and restaurants, question is would they think of the scorched Earth plan before its too late? I mean my first thought would be see if the Dino security people have a 50 cal weapon or bigger lying around unless I already knew it was nigh bulletproof. Yeah going into this with the knowledge I have from the movie I’d immediately suggest blowing the bitch as sky high as physically possible followed by shooting any remains to hell just to be safe. No kill like overkill

  88. Jake_Uzumaki July 10, 2015 at 9:16 pm -      #88

    Although its possible plan Indominous BBQ may require a sacrifice to ensure maximum exposure of the psycho bitchasaurus to the explosion.

  89. Friendlysociopath July 10, 2015 at 9:36 pm -      #89

    I’ve heard it’s possible in extreme cases, but it doesn’t happen like in the movies.

    Car explosions in reality are very, very lackluster. They’re more likely to just sit there on fire than to explode in any fashion- especially not the hyper-jesus-was-that-a-bomb-holy-shit explosions Hollywood uses.

  90. Super Combine July 10, 2015 at 9:48 pm -      #90

    @Friendly
    Yeah, unfortunately for Sam & Snake, if they try it, it’s going to be more like this.

    *40 seconds in*

  91. Ninja Lowk July 10, 2015 at 9:59 pm -      #91

    “Okay then, Sam sacrifices Snake. Same result.”

    I dunno, you ever try eating expired meat? That’s probably what it would be like eating Snake. It’ll swear off trying to eat humans after that.

  92. Friendlysociopath July 10, 2015 at 10:14 pm -      #92

    Also, for those suggesting finding guns- I believe Starlord mentions they have one and only one big gun like that helicopter gun. And that one is destroyed; this is two people stuck on an island with no weapon strong enough to kill the thing hunting them.

    Okay then, Sam sacrifices Snake. Same result.

    Remember that they point out it’s just killing for fun- not hunger.

  93. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 10:16 pm -      #93

    “I believe Starlord mentions they”

    Before Jurrasic world actually came out, i tried to convince people that it was a MCU cross-over film, and that it was actually about Starlord investigating the use of an infinity stone to mutate dinosaurs.

  94. Jake_Uzumaki July 10, 2015 at 10:20 pm -      #94

    @Friendly
    Eh, I didn’t know thought they might have had like a 50 cal hunting gun laying around

  95. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 10:21 pm -      #95

    I thought they had loads of guns. There was that scene about whether or not they use lethal ammo… isnt there?

  96. Alpha or Omega July 10, 2015 at 10:22 pm -      #96

    “that it was a MCU cross-over film, and that it was actually about Starlord investigating the use of an infinity stone to mutate dinosaurs.”
    /
    Should’ve sent the Avengers then.
    Avengers: Infinity World

  97. Epicazeroth July 10, 2015 at 10:24 pm -      #97

    @Sauro: “This isn’t the place for it.”
    True. We can rip each others’ analyses apart elsewhere.
    ===
    @Beli: “Do we ever see bullets actually hit the Rex?”
    The assault rifles hit when they’re tracking it.
    ===
    @Ramkin: “Is there nothing on the island that they can work with?”
    There are definitely some weapons, unless InGen took those all when they left. Probably a vehicle or two near the raptor pen.

    “They have a ton of tranquillisers laying around, they might be able to get the rex to ingest them somehow.”
    Pffft, what? They’d have to throw it all in at once though.

    “There are also dinosaurs that they can utilise. Lure the rex into them and stuff.”
    I can see that working, if they can find a group of Stegosaurs, Ankylosaurs, or Triceratops.

    “I thought they had loads of guns.”
    They did. The soldiers took them all (or at least most).
    ===
    @Combine: “I’ve heard it’s possible in extreme cases, but it doesn’t happen like in the movies.”
    I actually don’t remember that many vehicular explosions in JW. There was the helicopter, but that was like a 300 foot fall. Don’t remember that many cars, though.

  98. LadyRamkin July 10, 2015 at 10:24 pm -      #98

    Avenger’s 3: Age of dinosaurs

  99. Jake_Uzumaki July 10, 2015 at 10:34 pm -      #99

    @Epic
    didn’t a group of Ankylosaurs run like hell when the Indominous showed up during the Gyrosphere incident? They’d probably need to find a full on herd of close to a hundred maybe more.

  100. Epicazeroth July 10, 2015 at 10:52 pm -      #100

    @Jake: I can’t remember. I know there were a few, and then there weren’t. But that was in a forest; there wasn’t much room to maneuver. If they could get the I. rex to attack a herd in a place where the Ankylosauruses could fight freely, they might be able to break some bones. If the I. rex attacks a herd’s young, that would certainly be incentive not to run.

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