What if… Harry Dresden taught at Hogwarts?

What if Harry Dresden taught at Hogwarts

Suggested by Nsl98

What if… Harry Dresden (Dresden Files) taught at Hogwarts (Harry Potter)?

Assume Dresden is hired during Chamber of Secrets.

-Would he get fired/leave/die/arrested at the end of the year?

-What would he teach?

-How much Homework would he give out?

-How would his presence effect the events of the overall story?

-Would he find out about the Horcruxes?

-Would Voldemort stand a chance?

Etc, etc.

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23 Comments on "What if… Harry Dresden taught at Hogwarts?"

  1. Friendlysociopath June 18, 2015 at 12:27 am -      #1

    (Staying awake to pick my brother up from work has some perks it seem)
    I assume that means he teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts? That would mean:
    Lockhart was never hired
    Lupin was never hired
    Moody was never hired
    Umbridge was never hired
    and so on and so forth; so much of HP actually depends on the various teachers that slip through that job.
    Would Dresden be able to learn Potterverse magic and vice versa? That’s kind of key since his monsters =/= Potter monsters and his magic isn’t the same at all; Elemental Compatibility aside.

    I don’t see him getting fired year 2 as he would actively be trying to find the Basilisk and save the students. Since Harry and company locate the Chamber of Secrets largely without Lockhart’s help, the only question is whether he would voluntarily help them. Harry and Ron do go to the Dark Arts teacher to get help, I’m sure Dresden would assist in the effort. With both Harrys on the case the Basilisk would likely be defeated without too much of a problem.

    Year 3 might be an issue, I don’t believe the professors ride the train to Hogwarts, so Harry might die on the way there to the Dementors. Depending on the magic question, Harry might also be unable to learn Dresden’s magic, and Dresden himself can’t teach Harry spells he doesn’t know. So Harry would never learn the Patronus charm; which would have… problems down the line.

  2. Epicazeroth June 18, 2015 at 12:30 am -      #2

    1+2) I assume he’d teach DADA. In which case he’s out of a job by year’s end (unless he can break Voldie’s curse).
    3) I feel like the real question is, “How much of his homework would be allowed?”

    Everything else depends on whether the Dresden novels as a whole are being transplanted, or just the character.

  3. Commander Cross June 18, 2015 at 12:49 am -      #3

    I feel someone who’s died for our sins mentioned this idea before.
    Peace be upon him and may he rest in peace. :(

    —-

    So in any case, one way or another here’s to Harry J. Potter getting Training from Tartarus/Hell itself somewhere down the line, that much I’d want to see.

  4. Jake_Uzumaki June 18, 2015 at 1:32 am -      #4

    he’d be more likely fired than the other options likely at the orders of the Ministry for him being a loose cannon american wizard with an attitude problem…at which point Dumbledore immediately hires him as a security consultant at Hogwarts, you know since this is the second year in the row of horrible things going down and Dresden flips Fudge the bird and tells him to go pack himself.

    Either he teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts….or an Alternative Magical Theories class perhaps.

    Book 2 is an interesting time for him to come in as he either replaces Lockhart (and saves the other Harry a shit load of problems down the line) or will provide an alternative source for students in Hogwarts to….actually learn at least half useful shit or incredibly useful if we’re assuming Potterverse wizards can learn his style of magic and or vice versa if he wants to use their magic.

    This does lead to an interesting scenario though as Dresden has knowledge of the Harry Potter books and has read them in his universe has been prank called asking if he’s really a wizard named Harry and even laughed at wannabe warlocks wearing slytherine scarves. Though how much he retains of plot points is arguable probably.

    If he doesn’t remain a teacher Dumbledore will find a way to keep him around since he’ll probably have helped the other Harry with the schools snake problem….probably something involving paying off damages or something.

    If either Dresden isn’t the DADA teacher but a different position or Potter can learn Dresdenverse style magic the Dementor problem should be mostly averted (if Dresden is moved to a security consultation position he might be on the train to make sure the Dementors don’t screw shit up)

    Also I don’t know how it’ll happen but Dresden is going to smack Draco and his father upside the head at some point. Draco probably multiple points.

  5. Limbo Lowk June 18, 2015 at 1:34 am -      #5

    Wouldn’t Dresden cause more trouble then Potter? He is a pretty hated guy and the knight of a dangerous fae.
    ===
    And how does magic work in Harry Potter?

  6. Jake_Uzumaki June 18, 2015 at 1:52 am -      #6

    “Wouldn’t Dresden cause more trouble then Potter? He is a pretty hated guy and the knight of a dangerous fae.”

    He’d be hated by the Ministry probably….but he’d be in good company even at this stage. Hell the Ministries distrust of him would probably just make Dumbledore like him more. And as for his job as the Winter Knight..that just makes things get interesting when Mab starts screwing with stuff.

    As for how does the magic work….its never very clearly explained.
    ———————————-
    As to Horcruxes..I feel like if he’s still around by then Dumbledore will probably see if Dresden has anything to take care of Horcruxes/find the others. If Soulfire works on them then its possible all Dumbledore would have to do is get the Ressurection stone to Dresden before doing anything stupid with it and Dresden would be able to use the link between them of Voldemort’s soul to burn them all. Saving a lot of people a lot of trouble.

    As to how Voldemort is going to be feeling thats been discussed before. It didn’t end well for Voldemort, and like I said earlier the Horcruxes are kind of the perfect tool for Dresden to screw over Voldemort Dresden sort of makes them even more of a weak point than they were considered in universe. Of course its possible Draco will get the shit scared out of him if the Diadem in the Room of requirement randomly explodes in blue and white silver holy flames with the sound of churchbells while he’s playing with the Vanishing Cabinet. Which admittedly would be hilarious. Course even after that if Dresden goes with Potter Ron and Hermione on their journey to find the Horcruxes..and if they try it just to see if it’ll work that would be funny. I’d love to see the people in the rooms face if Voldemort just randomly burst into flames and died.

  7. Friendlysociopath June 18, 2015 at 10:01 am -      #7

    actually learn at least half useful shit

    They actually do learn quite a lot of cool and useful spells, they’re just mentioned in passing and never gone into again.
    Spells that make fire tickle instead of burn
    spells to freeze or paralyze the target
    and so on, the cool stuff is the stuff that is mentioned like once or twice and then never again.

    And how does magic work in Harry Potter?

    Magic works because magic works… what?
    That’s the answer lol, magic works in HP because it does; that’s why EC can be annoying at times.

    Dresden knows Harry Potter though, so he’d essentially be able to remake the entire universe however he wished since he essentially can see the future.

    At least until he warps HPverse enough that his knowledge doesn’t help anymore.

  8. Hermit June 18, 2015 at 10:20 am -      #8

    This…sounds like the makings of a fanfic.

  9. Jake_Uzumaki June 18, 2015 at 10:38 am -      #9

    I’ll give you the paralyze thing, but I think the flame tickling charm is only mentioned in passing while Potter does his history of magic homework in…one of the books I don’t actually remember which one maybe it was chamber of secrets..

    Although getting into stuff that isn’t used very often on screen..how is Dresden supposed to rectify all the…errr….illegal by his universes standard stuff that happens on a casual basis in Potterverse like Rape potions that forcibly alter a persons mind, and people being able to forcibly turn each other into animals…altering peoples minds is a regularish thing as well like Hermione erasing her parents memories which is done on other occasions as well, all of which are punishable by death by decapitation in his universe 9/10 times…

    I mean I doubt Dresden is just going to bust a cap in someone every time they do something thats a capital offense by his standards (partly because his new .50 caliber revolver would make a hell of a mess) but I doubt he’d be as casual about letting Ron get drugged by a love potion as the other teachers were.

    On the other end of it there’s the fact that when the cursed necklace thing happens in book six Dresden would be able to almost immediately trace it straight back to Draco (even without him more than likely knowing its Draco) as well as probably finding out about all the mental damage to people Draco’s been causing…..and with Draco’s pureblood douchebag attitude vs Dresden technically being a “mudblood” by Potterverse standards (which would likely come up in Chamber of Secrets..and lead to Dresden smacking Draco for using that to try and insult Hermione and probably deduct a few dozen points from Slytherine lol) Dresden will probably have a lot of trouble just..turning it in to the Ministry.

    @Hermit
    there are a couple that exist regarding this premise and I’ve been tempted to write one up myself before.

  10. Friendlysociopath June 18, 2015 at 1:45 pm -      #10

    @Jake
    Yeah, History of Magic has them learning about Wizard Lore; but he probably learns the spell- why wouldn’t he?
    I mean, he has class for 6 years- it’s kind of a given they learn a ton of spells that are just never deemed important enough to mention.
    Defense Against the Dark Arts includes learning spells.
    Transfiguration is apparently constant practice for… whatever they do in there that involves transforming objects.
    Charms has them doing a variety of silly things.
    (Shrug)

    how is Dresden supposed to rectify all the…errr….illegal by his universes standard stuff that happens on a casual basis in Potterverse like Rape potions that forcibly alter a persons mind, and people being able to forcibly turn each other into animals

    That stuff isn’t exactly allowed in Potterverse either; part of the reason Fudge shits a brick about Hogwarts and Dumbledore.

    Also, Magical Theory is apparently a class at Hogwarts, and that is ALL we know about it.

  11. Messmaker June 18, 2015 at 1:51 pm -      #11

    Dresden would probably teach Muggle Studdies, and make all of the kids read Spiderman comics or something

  12. Commander Cross June 18, 2015 at 6:44 pm -      #12

    Well, clearly someone around here’s gonna have to teach The Modern Potter-world about lost secrets of its more Medieval Past.
    In the kind of manner that may intrigue a lot of the Gnostic Scholars and maybe The Winter Court while they be at it.
    After all, (The Original!-)Merlin was intended as a co-counterpart to Jesus Christ during the Times of the Round Table along with Arthur Pendragon, despite the Ironic fact that (The Original!-) Merlin may have predated Jesus Christ in existenc, Age-wise.
    If I recall correctly, a lot of the Gnostic Scholars may have viewed

    According to this link, The Gnostic Scholars believe The Aeons to be Gods-in-their-own-right, but with the potential exception being The Supreme Monad, NOT The Big-G Man Himself!

    It’s bloody likely that there’s some folks in the Modern Potter-world who’d have the same kind of regards for Merlin himself that the Gnostic Scholars would view Jesus Christ as, here’s hoping NO ONE in the Modern Potter-world does anything as ‘bad’ as mistaking Merlin for The Big-G Man Himself.

    A lot of the Knowledge of the Medieval Times has been lost to the Modern Potter-world Ironically speaking, and the Medieval Times bridge the gap between the Ancient Times and our Modern-day Times.

    @Everyone

    For now, I’ll focus on the implications, there’s obviously too many possibilities with this kind of idea going on which makes it HARDER to bead down a specified set of consequences.

    Obviously speaking the upcoming ‘Fantastic Beasts’ Movie(s) will play a role in future findings, but what kind of Role we’re talking remains to be seen until its release.

  13. residentnerd01 June 18, 2015 at 11:05 pm -      #13

    While I think Dresden can make a good teacher, the learning experience would made so much better if Bob was made his assistant. Those two together would make being a student at Hogwarts so entertaining, and worth it despite the constant threat of death by giant snake.

  14. Abominatus674 June 20, 2015 at 9:30 pm -      #14

    I don’t think he’d really be cut out for a DADA teacher. Too much formulaic magic involved. It seems to me he’d have to be in a ‘miscellaneous’ position similar to Hagrid’s, pretty much just helping whoever he finds worth teaching. Then again, vast differences in magic systems make the whole idea a major headache.

    I reckon he’d give a lot of homework, but not so much regular stuff as ‘find a way to do xwith your magic’ or ‘what’s the best way to not be killed by x’.

  15. Limbo Lowk June 21, 2015 at 6:03 am -      #15

    “I don’t think he’d really be cut out for a DADA teacher. Too much formulaic magic involved.”

    While Dresden tends to rely on the more dirty destructive aspects of magic in the field; he is also a good alchemist, crafter, and enchanter.
    Going by Molly he isn’t a half bad teacher as long as he isn’t getting into trouble.
    Plus he has Bob. Actually bob would probably make a good teachers assistant if he doesn’t have to worry about the Fae.

  16. LadyRamkin June 21, 2015 at 8:03 am -      #16

    Assuming Dresden Has knowledge of Hogwarts due to having read the books,

    Then he goes strait to Ginny at the start of the year and takes Tom Riddles diary off her, he then goes directly to Dumbledore, explains about the Horcruxes and then sets out to destroy them. Leaving Hogwarts without a DAtDA teacher, a position that gets temporarily filled by Dumbledore due to lack of any other option. Harry (Dresden) succeeds in destroying the Horcruxes, which kills voldermort and breaks the curse on the job, meaning that Dresden becomes the longest running and most successful DAtDA teacher in Hogwarts history.
    – – –
    Assuming he has no knowledge of Hogwarts

    He teaches as normal, and forms a very close bond with a young magical student called Harry, whom had his parents killed by and evil wizard when he was very young, which meant he was adopted by an abusive family. Since they have similar back story they get along famously.
    When Harry (Potter) starts hearing voices in the walls, he goes immediately to Harry (Dresden) And explains about it. Due to the earlier duelling lessons Harry (Dresden) knows that Harry (Potter) can talk to snakes. And using a level of common sense that is simply not present in the Potter universe and a vast knowledge of magical creatures, he figures out that it is a Basalisk. Harry (Dresden) uses his detective skills and in a stroke of genius is the first wizard to ever ask moaning myrtle how she died. (HOW CAN NO ONE HAVE ASKED HER THAT BEFORE???? SERIOUSLY??? SHE DIED FIFTY YEARS AGO, NO ONE EVEN CARED ENOUGH TO ASK HER GHOST WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?) He figures out where the chamber is and how to get in, kills the basilisk etc. As the year comes to a close His god mother turns up, and he has to leave, before she can make deals with any of the students.

  17. Commander Cross June 21, 2015 at 2:28 pm -      #17

    There’s literally too many possibilities in a matter like this, I already said it before but anyone wants to see how many possibilities they can gather?

    For that matter, I feel like a Jerk for not saying this, but Happy Father’s Day 2015 to all.

  18. Glutinous-Bicarbonate July 3, 2015 at 7:32 pm -      #18

    There actually ARE fanfics with this exact premise, lol. Though I’m rather fond of the one where post first year Harry is sent to the 40k universe, and comes back basically a Space Marine with a century or two of grimdark under his belt. Cue setting-wide shitting of bricks as he slowly starts to take over.

  19. Nsl98 July 7, 2015 at 9:02 pm -      #19

    Hey, other sites use our info.:
    www.comicvine.com/forums/battles-7/astounding-wolf-man-vs-harry-dresden-1689415/#22

  20. oakranger July 25, 2015 at 12:48 pm -      #20

    I’m going to take a few things I liked about the other posts and set up what I think would happen

    First off some background, I’m going with Dresden not reading the potter books but knowing the basics of their world. In fact the ministry of magic is an ally of the White Council who work with magic users who are compatible with the complicated but powerful magical focali they simply call wands. Dresden is after skin games and is trying to be a better father to his daughter but that requires money and winter is not paying him. So he puts out his resume to the magical community.
    Scenario 1 Dresden as DADA teacher

    Dumbledore does not like Lockhart and is trying to find ANYBODY else to take his place. A resume for a wizard with some teaching experience and a ton of combat experience finds itself onto his desk and Dumbledore jumps on it. Lockhart is dropped like a hot potato and Dresden is hired. (I know a bit about schooling and their is prep work involved, the duel club is set up already and the pixies have been ordered) Dresden sets up some conditions though, The first is that Maggie and Mouse come with him, the second is that Dumbledore sets up some defenses for Chicago. Dresden’s book he has the students buy is the one McCoy wrought about basic magic use. Dresden realizes he can’t learn potter magic so teachers a combination of non-wand magic and non-magic defenses to the students. The first lesson has students throwing iron dust at the pixies. Draco makes a lot of problems and Dresden smart-alecks him right back and drops house points often. When the first basilisk attack happens harry traces the blood back to the rooster and consults his talking skull (not bob). Together they come up with the idea of a gorgon being the reason behind the attacks. Harry does tell him about the voices in the walls and Dresden starts looking into the secret passages in the school. Potter does what he did and together they find and kill the basilisk. I agree that his godmother would show up and that is why he would have to leave. Not before soul gazing Draco senior and giving him the scare of his life.

    Scenario 2 not DADA

    Same basics as one only Lockhart has a contract that Dumbledore can’t brake. Dresden instead gets to teach the students in magi focali. He teaches the students of Hogwarts how to make blasting rods, shield bracelets, and force rings. Maggie is still their and Dresden goes into overdrive protective mode when the students are threatened. Throughout it Dresden has to deal with Lockhart trying to take credit for everything Dresden is doing and when they all go down together Lockhart plans on stealing Dresden’s reputation, just showing you how stupid Lockhart really is. Since he’s not DADA teacher the curse doesn’t affect him and he gets to stay on and help during the next few years. I expect that he really helps during the whole Goblet of Fire. I expect that when Umbrage takes control he finally gets fired but comes back to with friends during the final fight.

  21. Rookie July 25, 2015 at 12:51 pm -      #21

    @oakranger

    Welcome to BankGambling.

  22. oakranger July 28, 2015 at 1:55 pm -      #22

    @Rookie

    _

    Thanks

  23. oakranger August 4, 2015 at 2:38 pm -      #23

    Oh forgot Murphy visits and then Mr. Weasley shows up and annoys her and Dresden to no end with questions about plugs and other muggle technology.

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