Jackie Chan Vs Kharn the Betrayer

Jackie Chan Vs Kharn the Betrayer

Suggested by Nsl98

Jackie Chan (Jackie Chan Adventures) goes up against Kharn the Betrayer (Warhammer 40K)

Jackie has all Talismans with the exception of the Dog.

They fight in Jacksonville, FL.

Who will win?

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222 Comments on "Jackie Chan Vs Kharn the Betrayer"

  1. pimpmage March 19, 2015 at 1:34 pm -      #201

    The beams are light, but since this is a cartoon, the light is cartoonishly slow. The beams are massless. They retain their speed regardless of the speed of their origin.

  2. LadyRamkin March 19, 2015 at 1:40 pm -      #202

    Oh, the pig Talisman. I was talking about the dragon Talisman, which is far more destructive. Though I suppose I did say hypersonic beams/lasers, so my bad, I apologise for any confusion.

  3. Friendlysociopath March 19, 2015 at 1:43 pm -      #203

    I don’t get why you are pushing this light angle?

    Because mass plays a key role when it comes to two different objects using one another’s speed.
    A crude example but- spitting forward with your head out of a moving car’s window won’t end well for your face.

    But since Jackie is using the talisman in this match, feats of him alone using it would be way more important than of someone else’s feats.

    Problem being I think literally every time a Talisman is used the “power” of it changes. User not-withstanding, even Jade’s feats are all over the park for the Rabbit Talisman. The only one that’s even remotely consistent is Dog, everything else fluctuates a bit over the series.

    Also, there’s the simple loophole in that Jackie never needed to use the Talismans like Jade does (read that as, “For Petty fun”). Jade grabs Rabbit and heads across the continent on little more than a whim.

    Also, as Ramkin said, it’s a power of the Talisman, not the user. If anything, the only thing restricting you seems to be concentration of a sort- Jade struggles as a child to use the Talismans (actually she only ever “struggled” to lift Tohru, and that probably had a lot to do with the Talisman being in her stomach at the time) but everyone else manages extremely well within seconds of having said Talisman.

    Oh Ramkin, I commented on your topia topic, whenever it comes out of moderation.

  4. LadyRamkin March 19, 2015 at 1:47 pm -      #204

    “The only one that’s even remotely consistent is Dog”

    Dog is pretty random, it ranges from no selling any and all damage, to keeping you alive with a massive hole in your chest. Sheep, rat, tiger and monkey are probably the most consistent. And are fun-illy enough the ones that are used the least.

    Though I would quite like to know what happens if you use the rat on a skyscraper, the power is motion to the motionless, but they only ever try using it on thing that have like, limbs and stuff.

    Now that i think about it Rat is one of the more broken powers, imagine if Jackie had a Superman toy it would gain all of Superman’s powers, abilities and his personality

    “Oh Ramkin, I commented on your topia topic, whenever it comes out of moderation.”

    I wait in eager excitement

  5. Friendlysociopath March 19, 2015 at 1:57 pm -      #205

    Now that i think about it Rat is one of the more broken powers, imagine if Jackie had a Superman toy it would gain all of Superman’s powers, abilities and his personality

    That… is an excellent and terrifying point. Keep that sucker WELL in mind for future matches.

    Dog is pretty random

    Nah, the only time it wasn’t just brute force trauma was Jackie blowing a hole through Shendu. Everything else was just pain-overload since it doesn’t prevent that.

    Sheep, rat, tiger and monkey are probably the most consistent.

    Cause Sheep’s friggin useless haha- nobody bothers to use the thing.
    Tiger also can be slightly inconsistent in that Captain Black just split in two, neither version was good or evil.
    Monkey is a little inconsistent, it goes from on-touch to a small beam to a street-wide swath of energy.

  6. LadyRamkin March 19, 2015 at 2:01 pm -      #206

    “Keep that sucker WELL in mind for future matches.”

    This match takes place in Jacksonville. If the is a toy shop there Jacky can speed in and bring one to life. Then sit back and watch the results with the sheep.

    “Captain Black just split in two, neither version was good or evil.”

    Well one half may have been evil, he just might not have objected to being reunited like evil Jacky does.

    “Nah, the only time it wasn’t just brute force trauma was Jackie blowing a hole through Shendu. Everything else was just pain-overload since it doesn’t prevent that.”

    Shendu Hits Jackie with a fire blast and he doesn’t react at all, no pain whatsoever

  7. LadyRamkin March 19, 2015 at 2:10 pm -      #207

    “Shendu Hits Jackie with a fire blast and he doesn’t react at all, no pain whatsoever”

    …………. hmm, just re-watched when i thought that happened… didnt even happen, ignore me

    But the wiki also says that it happened……

  8. LadyRamkin March 19, 2015 at 2:19 pm -      #208

    OKAY, it does happen, Season 2, demon world part 2 right at the start, i’ll see if i can find a vid

    www.dailymotion.com/video/xlf0zu_jackie-chan-adventure-2×13-demon-world-part-2_shortfilms

    in the first minuet

  9. pimpmage March 19, 2015 at 2:28 pm -      #209

    “This match takes place in Jacksonville. If the is a toy shop there Jacky can speed in and bring one to life. Then sit back and watch the results with the sheep.”

    This match devolves into kharn slaughtering hundreds of toys for the blood god, all the while Jackie is spitting out corny puns.

  10. LadyRamkin March 19, 2015 at 2:32 pm -      #210

    He makes a his own personal throne out of doll heads. And cover’s it cotton and string, he then ascends to become a pure warp being, he then develops his own chaos army whom’s chant is “DOLLS FOR THE TOY GOD”

    And Jackie wins since Kharn left the battlefield

  11. LadyRamkin March 19, 2015 at 2:41 pm -      #211

    www.shapeways.com/product/HHHMVLS7N/chinese-zodiac-talismans

    So………. much……………want…………

  12. pimpmage March 19, 2015 at 2:42 pm -      #212

    He would definitely make a throne of skulls, but he wouldn’t dare sit in it. That is reserved for Angron alone. Blood goes to khorn, skulls go to angron’s skull throne. It’s like saying, for king and country.

  13. Jake_Uzumaki March 19, 2015 at 8:51 pm -      #213

    “Well one half may have been evil, he just might not have objected to being reunited like evil Jacky does.”

    Well to be fair isn’t the Tiger supposed to balance your yin and yang or split them, your positive and negative, however you want to word it. Not necessarily good and evil, Light Jackie was super mellow and embodied Jackie’s pacifist archaeologist tendencies, dark Jackie was more rebellious and arrogant, embodied Jackie’s aggression and anger. But at the same time Light Jackie was willing to fight to a degree if pushed and Dark Jackie was willing to help others at times.

    In the first episode with the Dragon Talisman and in the time travel episode where we saw young Jackie we saw that Jackie has quite the temper and was quite a lot like Jade when he was younger.
    Perhaps Captain Black is a more balanced person than Jackie.

  14. Friendlysociopath March 19, 2015 at 10:05 pm -      #214

    @Ramkin
    That’s a giant waste of money for rocks with symbols on them haha- here, use this
    parallel1980.deviantart.com/art/Talisman-papercraft-1-203184597

    Cheaper, and you can spam the crap out of them.

  15. LadyRamkin March 20, 2015 at 10:55 am -      #215

    😀

  16. LadyRamkin March 22, 2015 at 7:47 am -      #216

    So, Jackie flies up behind Kharn while invisible and turns him into a puppy. Any Objections?

  17. pimpmage March 22, 2015 at 3:48 pm -      #217

    So the way I see the match going right now, is if Jackie steals jade’s feats, he wins. With his own feats, even with the dog talisman, kharn wins.

  18. LadyRamkin March 22, 2015 at 3:52 pm -      #218

    The way I see it Kharn has no resistance to poly-morph effects. If Jackie starts a reasonable distance away. He can invisibly Speed-fly around and turn Kharn into a puppy. If Jackie Starts too close, Kharn shoots him.

  19. pimpmage March 22, 2015 at 4:01 pm -      #219

    There is one small thing I need to say. I feel this world actually be a problem for kharn. I don’t think plasma weapons shoot as fast as bullets. I have never ever seen a feat mentioning how fast plasma travels. But seeing as it spits out a gob of plasma, it can’t be too fast. But kharn should be able to time his shots at the correct trajectory to nail Jackie if he isn’t careful.

  20. LadyRamkin March 22, 2015 at 4:01 pm -      #220

  21. LadyRamkin March 23, 2015 at 3:53 am -      #221

    That is the first time he uses it.

  22. pimpmage March 23, 2015 at 4:32 am -      #222

    That lines up with other normal feats of the rabbit talisman I have seen. That actually still looks slower than supersonic, but the talismans were stated to allow supersonic movement. Even though that is a slower use of the feat, I am setting the bar at minimum supersonic. Jackie still got tagged and fooled by characters without the supersonic talisman.

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