What If… Kirby became Batman?

what-if-kirby-became-batman - Copy

Suggested by Friendlysociopath

On a dark and stormy night, Batman was making his rounds around Gotham City- spotting a strange light in the distance at a construction site, he fires his grappling hook to sweep over to the scene. He arrives to find twisted metal beams everywhere, seemingly bent by some massive impact- some curiously appeared to have bite marks on them. A blur of motion leaps towards Batman and he finds himself gripped by a powerful force as he is consumed by the alien monster.

Haaaaaaaai!

After consuming Batman, Kirby will pass Bruce Wayne back into the world, minus his fighting experience and memory of being Batman. Instead of absorbing his powers, Kirby will instead have taken on the personality and thought-process of Batman. (Essentially Batman in Kirby’s body)
Bat-Kirby will still retain all of Kirby’s abilities except for the Warp Star.

What would happen? What would change?

Would Bruce be able to handle the loss of such an important part of his life? Would he be able to work alongside this “new Batman?”

Would the villains of Gotham stand a chance? Would the later villains against the Justice League?

Would Batman still get flak for having PIS?

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12 Comments on "What If… Kirby became Batman?"

  1. Darth Expert March 3, 2015 at 8:05 am -      #1

    Because Batman is to badass to simply be consumed by Kirby so he takes over his body. Bat kirby would prob just go around and just all the villains.

  2. Nsl98 March 3, 2015 at 8:42 am -      #2

    So is Kirby being scaled to his SSB size, or is he is actual height?

    —–
    If he’s his SSB size, he solo’s all of the Rogue’s Gallery at once.

    If he’s actual canon height, it’ll take longer.

  3. Friendlysociopath March 3, 2015 at 9:21 am -      #3

    So is Kirby being scaled to his SSB size, or is he is actual height?

    Considering Kirby can stretch himself into any shape without really suffering from integrity problems, I’m inclined to believe he can be whatever size he wants. But yes, SSB size.

    Because Batman is to badass to simply be consumed by Kirby so he takes over his body

    In my head it was more like Kirby wanted to take a nap so he left Batman at the controls for a bit.

  4. Nsl98 March 3, 2015 at 9:33 am -      #4

    K. I don’t really see any of Bat’s villains being a problem for Kirby, but the JL ones are gonna be a problem.

    —-
    Just wondering, would Kirby vs Wonder Woman be a good fight? Allowing Anime feats.

  5. Warlock Lowk March 3, 2015 at 10:05 am -      #5

    Kirby might make clayface worst if he survives an encounter with him. He pretty much has the same ability kirby has except via touch.
    ===
    How does kirby handle mystical threats becuase morgan le fey and some supernatural stuff take place in gotham.
    ===
    “Would Bruce be able to handle the loss of such an important part of his life? Would he be able to work alongside this “new Batman?”

    He’d train till he was batman levels again.
    ===
    “Just wondering, would Kirby vs Wonder Woman be a good fight? Allowing Anime feats.”

    How well does kirby handle slashing or piercing weaponry?

  6. Nsl98 March 3, 2015 at 10:16 am -      #6

    @Lowk

    He handles Meta Knight’s swords and fights sword users throughout most of his games.
    —–
    He’s also pretty durable against explosives.

    At 2:30 tanks a part of the moon being blown up:

    m.youtube.com/watch?v=_gnx6PZ0gUQ

  7. Tarbel March 3, 2015 at 10:38 am -      #7

    There will be a small pink guy running around growling “I’m Batman” in a high pitched voice.
    Villains will laugh, and then they will die.

  8. batman3.14 March 3, 2015 at 10:10 pm -      #8

    BLASPHEMY

    Bruce will commit suicide. Batman will still be awesome, OP at times, and full of PIS.

  9. jhud March 3, 2015 at 10:17 pm -      #9

    Cutest batman ever!!! O.O

  10. Darth Bombad March 3, 2015 at 11:27 pm -      #10

    @jhud
    “Cutest batman ever!!! O.O”

    Even cuter than Batcow?.
    31.media.tumblr.com/e0d57c13cc3d4a1248d4f3c8e7b13e24/tumblr_mkdvsdjiNm1qau6bdo1_500.jpg

    As for the question, Gotham will become a much happier, cheerful and adorable place.
    Batman will actually be an interesting character for a change.

  11. jhud March 4, 2015 at 1:02 am -      #11

    @Darth Bombad
    Yes cuter then batcow also fun times will be had!

  12. Rookie March 4, 2015 at 1:36 am -      #12

    It would be cool.

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