I.S.I.S. Vs KKK Vs Westboro Baptist

I.S.I.S. Vs KKK Vs Westboro Baptist

Suggested by Commander Cross

Location: Across the Evacuated Globe, under surveillance of Hacked Satellites making sure The Real News gets across un-opposed.

Victory Conditions: The Demise and Destruction of the other 2 groups until only the faction left has any survivors at all.

I.S.I.S. (Never to be mistaken with a Magic Goddess from Egypt.) The Ku Klux Klan and The Westburo Cults, all 3 of them are known by the General Public to be more or less Abrahamic (Judaic, Christian and Islamic) Terrorist Societies, or essentially Cannibals that infiltrated the ranks of Abrahamic Societies across the globe, depending on whom you ask.

The Sorcerers for all 3 sides will be allowed and in play, with no regard as to whether or not The Divine approves of their Un-consented studies on Magic, all 3 groups WILL be opting to dispose of each other by any means necessary.

No one else is in the way, No Brain-dead Politicians to save their skulls, no Corrupt Cops to influence, not even any ounces of the General Public or More Organized Militaries to get in the way either, the only Hackers allowed to get involved are those in cahoots with or working for any of the 3 sides in question, not even the Wealthy that are NOT in cahoots with the 3 will be involved or included.

Yes the Flamers and Trolls in cahoots with any of the 3 groups will be allowed provided they’re siding with that particular group.

Let True Freedom and Liberty Ring for All Nations once this display of Carnage ends.

Let’s get this bloodbath started and let the Carnage Commence!

Admin’s note: Wouldn’t this make for a great video game?

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47 Comments on "I.S.I.S. Vs KKK Vs Westboro Baptist"

  1. Tancalebner February 9, 2015 at 6:34 am -      #1

    This post is entirely inappropriate, especially since in recent memory ISIS has brutally murdered people in almost Satanic and Demonic ways… I just want to throw that out there…

  2. Warlock Lowk February 9, 2015 at 6:45 am -      #2

    “Never to be mistaken with a Magic Goddess from Egypt.”

    Or the former group name for archer’s spy group.
    ===
    Three organiztions of varying atrocities but only one has resources like Cobra.

  3. sadot06 February 9, 2015 at 6:45 am -      #3

    Can the winner of this match’s prize be getting brutally tortured by Mephisto for all eternity?

    Sadly (or mercifully) this match shouldn’t take long. It’s a massive stomp in the favor of ISIS. Thanks to their middle east oil connections, the followers and resources they gained after Saddam got taken out, and the fact that they’ve been armed and trained by the US government for the purposes of regime change, the other two groups are massively outgunned. Westborough are just a small number of backwoods religious nuts, and the KKK, while armed, don’t have anything more potent than assault rifles, and have far less followers than ISIS. ISIS have missiles, bombs, guns, the works. Their only causalities in this war may be from suicide bombers.

  4. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 7:27 am -      #4

    Where are the americans nuclear warheads when you need them?

  5. Darth Expert February 9, 2015 at 8:05 am -      #5

    Westboro batpists get destroyed and their funeral gets picked.

  6. Friendlysociopath February 9, 2015 at 8:11 am -      #6

    Do they all start off close together or in their normal locations? Because ISIS can pretty much wag their tongues at their enemies in a “na-nana-nanaaaaaana” fashion until the other two manage to find aircraft to get to the Middle East.

    That said, ISIS is pretty stupid so if everyone manages to get their hands on equal weaponry I’d imagine either of the other sides could possibly take them.

  7. Mr. happy February 9, 2015 at 8:50 am -      #7

    ‘That said, ISIS is pretty stupid so if everyone manages to get their hands on equal weaponry I’d imagine either of the other sides could possibly take them.’

    Unlikely. IS is the most battle hardened of the three, despite ‘only’ going up against the ISF and various Syrian rebel groups and government forces.

  8. Jolttra February 9, 2015 at 9:10 am -      #8

    Isis wins pretty easy. They are the only semi-professional military organization. The KKK are just a bunch of racist old people abd the Baptists are stupid inbread rednecks. The only reason either group is still alive at all is that they are based in the USA. Anywhere else and they would never survive. Isis has greater potential for growth within it’s population and is currently gaining memberships. The are the most violent and ruthless and unlike the other groups there are a good number of well educated members. And let’s not forget they have the real firepower instead of illegally modified M-16s like the other two.

  9. Ragnorke February 9, 2015 at 9:30 am -      #9

    ISIS wins hands down don’t they…?

    @Secrecy
    “Where are the americans nuclear warheads when you need them?”

    Well, killing millions of innocent families and leaving a part of the world uninhabitable for a while isn’t really ideal.
    Specially considering the countries aren’t even officially at war.
    It’s a TERRORIST organisation, which most countries in the middle east are actively fighting against…

    I’m extremely against the idea of even more drone attacks, let alone nukes.

  10. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 9:49 am -      #10

    @Ragnorke
    Well, first of, it was a joke.

    Well, killing millions of innocent families and leaving a part of the world uninhabitable for a while isn’t really ideal.

    Ehm, don’t think my english is bad enough to missunderstand the words “Across the Evacuated Globe“?

  11. Megaraptor18 February 9, 2015 at 9:53 am -      #11

    The person who suggested this is really ill informed about the status of both the Klan and the Westboro Church. Westboro Church has 39 people currently in it and the Klan is a shadow of its former self (in fact given that they at their peak had close to 6 million members to now barely having 8,000 people in it means they are no threat to anyone anymore.) so the only clear winner here is the Islamic State.

    ——————————————————-

    “all 3 of them are known by the General Public to be more or less Abrahamic (Judaic, Christian and Islamic) Terrorist Societies”

    ——————————————————

    None of them are Jewish but I’ll let that pass for the moment and ask the suggester to look up the definition of terrorists because Westboro Church doesn’t fit into that. Sure they are cunts that will pay for their sins in the afterlife but they are not terrorists. The Klan does deserve that claim though since many historians do call them the First American Terror Group so only two out of three are terrorists.
    ——————————————————

    Lastly on the Westboro Church if Kevin Smith can take them down with humor and joyful playfulness than they ain’t much of a threat. Also his methods in fighting hate is more effective against groups of assholes like Westboro Church. Use humor to fight them not with hatred. Very disappointed with the suggester because all he does is empower hate with hate.
    —————————————————-

    Watch this special and Kevin Smith talks all about it and what he and his fans did is magical and was able to de-fang them without the use of hate.

    —————————————————

    The suggester should have done more research into this groups since if they would have done some research we would have a much better match than the one we got but the sliver lining here is I got to put a Kevin Smith Q&A Special so I’m happy either way. Though don’t like the fact I had to fact check the status of WBC because I’m in the fact checking mood and I had to fact check WBC and the fucking Klan. Please don’t put me in this position again.

  12. Cassie Hack February 9, 2015 at 10:03 am -      #12

    In my head canon ISIS is COBRA, and Seal team Six’s death was actually staged so they could become the foundation for an elite anti-terrorism group.

  13. Megaraptor18 February 9, 2015 at 10:07 am -      #13

    “ISIS is COBRA”

    —————————————–

    You know now I want to see COBRA vs IS.

  14. Ragnorke February 9, 2015 at 10:09 am -      #14

    “Well, first of, it was a joke”

    You’d be surprised how many people truly believe nukes are a good idea.

    “Ehm, don’t think my english is bad enough to missunderstand the words “Across the Evacuated Globe“?”

    Well, if you’re referring to the match… How would anyone get nukes to begin with?

  15. Commander Cross February 9, 2015 at 10:37 am -      #15

    @Officer Megaraptor at #11

    Sorry about that, sir, I take full blame for that sir.

    I never said they were Jewish, sir.
    The Lord Junior(and Savior) Jesus Christ would be disappointed in me for not Quad-checking my plans so good, sir.
    I confess I’ve yet to write much that’s not ‘Darkness and Despair = my Milk and Cookies’ nowadays sir.
    I’m not being Sane, sir.

    @Everyone else

    If need be, equal numbers may be allowed, I am not perfect and I take full blame for any flaws in this matter.

    @Sadot or anyone who’s mentioned Mephisto

    That’s a possibility, either that or they be at the Mercy of a lot of people, Cosmic or otherwise to begin with.

    Now if I may be excused, I’m gonna take a crack at 10 or so push-ups, and then go wonder if I can ever write anything ‘jolly’ or ‘funny’ again without it getting across as Black Comedy, anything else goes wrong from today onward, I take blame for it.
    Now I’ll crack some jokes at my own expense
    and say ‘papa won’t be too pleased with me,’ I am going crack self-depreciating jokes if it does wonders for my planning, then pray to Jesus/Raptor Jesus and his Almighty Father before I go to bed, I will not mock them on it
    or please let Mystical of Ragnarok be free to scrutinize me.

    If I do anything else, I’m gonna go do some non-fatal regards until my mind and muses lighten up.

    —-

    ‘Can’t Face his Father’ Cross, reporting in
    for the Loony Bin, Raptor Jesus/The Aeon Christ having died for our Sins.

    (Last Light-hearted matter ever done was that 1-vs-1 Naruto vs Negima-related fight , what was its name again?)

  16. Megaraptor18 February 9, 2015 at 10:51 am -      #16

    @ Cross
    Fair Enough. In the future avoid putting WBC in the same light as the Klan or IS since by doing so gives WBC more power since WBC are like real like versions of Internet Trolls. So once you look at them like that than you will ease off on them and you don’t feed the trolls.

  17. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 11:04 am -      #17

    You’d be surprised how many people truly believe nukes are a good idea.

    Oh, I’m not surprised, not the least.

    Well, if you’re referring to the match… How would anyone get nukes to begin with?

    Well, since the other (mostly) sane humans successfully evacuated the planet we must have had spacecrafts, and don’t try to convince me that USA wouldn’t take their nuclear arsenal with them if they could.

  18. Yatsukahagi February 9, 2015 at 11:10 am -      #18

    ISIS has something that these other two organizations (and most other terrorists organizations) don’t: consistent, overt success. They beat the Shias and the Americans and their puppets, took big swathes of territory, finally let Sunni Islam stand up for itself after years if not decades of being shat on and spat on. They’re glamorous.

    However all of this has been in a short span of time. ISIS has been picking low-hanging fruit and had recent setbacks, and is confronting the difficulties of needing to govern. If the KKK and Westboro Baptist Church are smart enough (pfft) to play on this, they might be able to do damage, especially if they team up.

  19. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 11:21 am -      #19

    finally let Sunni Islam stand up for itself after years if not decades of being shat on and spat on

    By executing civilians? By planning to kidnap a random family in Australia and torture them to death?

    They beat the Shias and the Americans and their puppets

    Weird, the last I heard was that they were cowering in their holes and caves from US air strikes…

  20. Megaraptor18 February 9, 2015 at 11:31 am -      #20

    ““They beat the Shias and the Americans and their puppets”


    “Weird, the last I heard was that they were cowering in their holes and caves from US air strikes…”

    Yeah they have yet to beat American forces as you put it airstrikes have hit them and to add that everytime they encounter US special forces IS fighters take losses and retreat. (US Special Forces are the only forces there at this time in a defensive and training role since we pulled out of Iraq years before IS was formed.) So they have yet to feel the full might of the US Armed Forces. They are currently facing a very limited US force with local forces which IS is making more enemies everyday. The burning of the Jordonian pilot has angered many in that part of the world and countries that were thinking about pulling out of the air campaign are now decided to continue it.

  21. Yatsukahagi February 9, 2015 at 11:52 am -      #21

    “By executing civilians? By planning to kidnap a random family in Australia and torture them to death?”

    You have Islam in general being looked down on in the West (this is more what I had in mind), then some people turn up and beat the snot out of a corrupt dictator, (percieved) US puppet Iraq, and so on. The reference to Sunni specifically was more to highlight the possible distinction, I don’t know how important it is here in practice. You’re overthinking my second statement.

  22. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 12:06 pm -      #22

    You have Islam in general being looked down on in the West

    Sorry, per my countries rules I’m not allowed to respond to this, cause then I would be branded a racist…

    The reference to Sunni specifically was more to highlight the possible distinction

    We are talking about I.S.I.S here, an terrorist group who uses Islam as an excuse to pillage, murder etc etc.

  23. Yatsukahagi February 9, 2015 at 12:20 pm -      #23

    “Sorry, per my countries rules I’m not allowed to respond to this, cause then I would be branded a racist…”

    What country monitors your internet activity and makes sure to brand anyone they find making hate comments online a racist?

    “We are talking about I.S.I.S here, an terrorist group who uses Islam as an excuse to pillage, murder etc etc.”

    Ah, I’ll give you that since James Folely-era IS.

  24. Ragnorke February 9, 2015 at 12:30 pm -      #24

    ” finally let Sunni Islam stand up for itself after years if not decades of being shat on and spat on. ”

    Now I’m not a Muslim, but I was born in and have lived in multiple Muslim countries.
    “Sunni” Islam is what majority of Muslim countries are. “Shia” Islam is a relatively short percentage of them which only exist in certain countries (Iran being the most notable one)

    So I’m not sure what you meant by Sunni Islam standing up after years of being shat on…
    Emirates, Bahrain, Saudia, Kuwait… All Sunni countries, and all are doing extremely well from an economic perspective.
    If anything, it’s the Shia Muslims that were being shat on for decades, and still continue to be shat on… Although they do have some rather freaky rituals & beliefs… So I hope they stay the minority.

  25. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 12:50 pm -      #25

    What country monitors your internet activity and makes sure to brand anyone they find making hate comments online a racist?

    Have no hate comments, since I don’t hate/dislike Islam any more than other religions, but I’m posting this so you can see the situation over here: www.thelocal.se/20070905/8401

  26. Yatsukahagi February 9, 2015 at 12:50 pm -      #26

    There aren’t many Shia countries, yes- but Iran is a Shia theocracy and relatively successful despite US hostility, while the Sunni-majority countries are relatively unsuccessful secular dictatorships. This is a problem for people with a certain way of looking at things.

  27. itcheyness February 9, 2015 at 12:54 pm -      #27

    Can we all calm the hell down before this match turns into a massive shitstorm of racism and bigotry?

    Let’s all agree right now that shots towards the religious beliefs of any group not directly involved in this match are beyond the scope of this match and should be avoided at all costs okay?

    You can make fun of the dumbass beliefs of ISIL, the KKK and Westboro specifically all you want, but don’t shit on the religion that they “represent”.

    Sound good to everyone?

  28. Belisaurius February 9, 2015 at 1:08 pm -      #28

    Islam isn’t a bad religion in and of it’self but it’s something of a dangerous one. When Muhammed founded Islam he also founded an empire to go with it. Expanding this empire meant conquest and as such the earliest years of Islam were drenched in blood.

    Surprisingly, Islam used to be one of the most accepting of religions as Muhammed had written treaties guerrenteeing the right to worship and self rule for non-muslims. Unbelievers were to be fined rather than killed.

    The problem is that Islam still has lots of provisos for war but since Muhammed’s empire collapsed there aren’t the checks and balances to regulate these provisos. As such, any local priest could very well declare jihad and nobody could tell him no.

  29. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 1:18 pm -      #29

    No religion are bad in itself, ok there is some, but not Islam, Christianity etc. It is the people claiming to reptresent them that are the problem. They use the religion as a scapegoat. Take for example Islam, when you hear this most people think of Al-qaida or other fanatical terrorist groups, not of the kind and law-abiding old lady down the street.

  30. itcheyness February 9, 2015 at 1:24 pm -      #30

    Can we all just talk about how dumb this match is instead? I mean, we’ve got 3 different levels of power from the combatants, ISIL easily kills the KKK which easily kills Westboro.

    We could’ve done ISIS vs Ukrainian rebels vs Boko Haram or something instead…

  31. Xornell February 9, 2015 at 2:13 pm -      #31

    Isis would probably win because they have Aloha snackbars. Unless the klan somehow outnumbered them? Well no matter who wins, we all win.

    Time for drunk talk.

    I used to be really religiously tolerant but these fuckers have been killing shit for allahu snackbar for 90% of my life. Maybe it’s just best if we get rid of the snackbars. If the kids can’t play nice with their Allahs we should take them away.

  32. Commander Cross February 9, 2015 at 2:59 pm -      #32

    @Itcheyness at #27

    Again I take full blame for it, and I also agree to the conditions noted at #27 as well.

    At #30, if it helps, there’s always Most Equal Incarnations Possible, otherwise I take blame for it.

    Religious-type $hitstorms haven’t and will never be at all what I planned, and if any happen on my count here then may Big-G Man Himself and The Aeon Christ(was known as ‘Jesus’ in his time) have Mercy on my existence.

    I can’t tell how much of it stems from ‘Nu Wai, Dis Iz Uh Kuul Fyte, Wai Nu Wun Suhjustued Ut Yut?’ that got to me and how much of it stems from between not-being-psychologically-sane.

    If anything, don’t expect me to suggest anything for a whole week if it’s avoidable, I volunteer to get surveillance for that time and Pay for my sins.

    —-

    Great, even when Evacuations happen, always the off-chance someone that don’t deserve it get caught in the crossfire anyway no matter what I do.

    Whatever’s gonna be said about this kind of match or on my latest planning, I really hope that Gnosticism and the Iskon Priesthood don’t get hit.
    I suspect I’ll pay dearly for it but what ways exactly I will not know until I get signs.

    —-

    I’m gonna go calm myself down before something happens and I become ‘Shaken-Mess Central’ all over the place, E.G Not fun for anyone.

    —-

    @Xornell at #31

    That talk is Crazy enough to work.
    At least I think?

  33. Glutinous-Bicarbonate February 9, 2015 at 3:52 pm -      #33

    …D-Dante solos?

  34. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 4:11 pm -      #34

    GET OUT…

  35. Aelfinn February 9, 2015 at 4:40 pm -      #35

    Fuck you G-B.
    =
    I’ve met some Muslims. They were pretty nice.

  36. Xornell February 9, 2015 at 4:45 pm -      #36

    Oh I’ve been really good friends with Muslim kids. That doesn’t change the fact that I sometimes think their snackbars get out of hand and maybe we shouldn’t let the snackbars exist anymore. They being said I sometimes also get really upset, because imagine being a rational American Muslim/Arab guy. So much hate toward what you are and every time someone snackbars it must just be like “Come the fuck on guys seriously? Enough of this shit.”. But that don’t stop them from snackbar ring, do it?

  37. Belisaurius February 9, 2015 at 6:51 pm -      #37

    The KKK had some significant political power in the U.S. in its day. Enough to stage marched and demonstrations in Washington anyway. In theory they could convince the U.S. to invade but there’s a lot of ifs

  38. Sauroposeidon February 9, 2015 at 7:47 pm -      #38

    This match has restored my faith in the ‘pile!

  39. Sauroposeidon February 9, 2015 at 7:58 pm -      #39

    Serious face time..

    The Americans are likely outnumbered.. Likely the KKK will take out Westboro. Following that, well.. ISIS is really only dangerous because they swept through Iraqi forces who abandoned A LOT of American gear for them to use. The KKK begins IN American, and has more to make use of. ISIS is going to have to go on the offensive, probably, since it’s too easy for the KKK to just turtle up in North America until they figure out how to get access to nukes and then launch them. When ISIS arrives.. I don’t get how they’ll win.

    KKK takes it.

  40. Secrecy27 February 9, 2015 at 8:47 pm -      #40

    img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120412162750/villains/images/2/25/9thCrusade.jpg

  41. itcheyness February 9, 2015 at 8:53 pm -      #41

    This match doesn’t have a set battlefield, so that makes it a neutral battlefield. The KKK isn’t going to have access to any American military tech that they don’t already have access to. Ergo, since ISIL is the only side that has actual weapons and war fighting equipment they stomp.

    There’s also the fact that they heavily outnumber the other combatants. Facts probably outnumber Westboro, and the KKK has at most 8000 members according to the SPLC. ISIL on the other hand has estimates from 31,000 (CIA estimate) to 200,000 (Kurdish estimates, likely not that accurate)

    So, ISIL has higher numbers, more experience, and better weapons.

    Oh, and since all of the internet searching probably put me on a government watch-list somewhere…

    Can you government guys find a way to get Firefly back on the air, and finish Project 1313?

    I’ll swear everlasting loyalty to the United States and accuse whoever of whatever you want, just bring them back…

  42. Hermit February 10, 2015 at 10:08 am -      #42

    Let’s go with the Sherlock Holmes version of KKK, the ones who were so efficient at murder that they managed to outwit Holmes himself.
    .
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Orange_Pips
    .
    Fun trivia: KKK is also the acronym of the Katipunan, a society who sought to gain Philippine independence against the Spaniards through revolution. They succeeded against Spain (who were kind of distracted) but lost to the US.

  43. TheSorrow February 10, 2015 at 1:07 pm -      #43

    Have no hate comments, since I don’t hate/dislike Islam any more than other religions, but I’m posting this so you can see the situation over here: www.thelocal.se/20070905/840

    How is Sweden still a country? I would have thought it had destroyed itself by now from all PC policing it’s been doing.

  44. itcheyness February 10, 2015 at 2:50 pm -      #44

    “How is Sweden still a country? I would have thought it had destroyed itself by now from all PC policing it’s been doing.”

    They just elected some “former” nazis into their government, so they’re not that PC anymore.

    foreignpolicy.com/2014/09/16/how-a-former-neo-nazi-party-became-swedens-third-largest/

  45. Psycho Toaster February 10, 2015 at 3:12 pm -      #45

    ISIS no doubt. Church has the will and budget to get a bunch of ignorant pricks out on the streets with signs, KKK killed some people, and ISIS is invading countries and starting a war. They’re militarized.

  46. tychusfindlay919 February 20, 2015 at 12:34 am -      #46

    @ post #43

    All of Europe is seemingly engulfing itself in totalitarianism. Look at Britain who just petitioned to ban islam.

    This is why I’m glad to live under the US constitution.

  47. tychusfindlay919 February 20, 2015 at 12:38 am -      #47

    @post #41 itch eyeless

    Those numbers are hardcore wanked. My CIA estimates that I found had them at around a little over 10,000 possibly (combatants) with a low being around 8000.

    Like others have mentioned before, the only thing ISIS has going for them is captured US tech, otherwise, I’d actually vote KKK for this even though they aren’t in their prime.

    Here in the states, many gun owners are highly trained and professional. The US as a nation prides itself to a certain degree on having a gun culture. Guns are engrained in our society, not necessarily fighting, but guns and the use of them (including training for how to wield them as best as possible). I got my hands on an AK 47, G36C, Mauser, and magnum pistol by the time I was 11.

    ISIS is a bunch of monkeys and from what I’ve seen, they even have trouble using some of the captured U.S. tech.

    For some reason people think ISIS is somehow the intellectual shit just because they can make a Twitter account…

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